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114

You already have received a fine answer to which I want to add a bit. Kids that age pretty much wear their feelings on their sleeves, and while fake crying as manipulation isn't rare, the whole thing looked quite genuine to me. Genuine sadness is not a punishable offense; it is always an appropriate option (and one I would choose) to console the child in ...


107

Maybe unpopular opinion: Tricking children, especially ones who are too young to understand and appreciate it as a joke, is at best unkind, and can be outright mean, regardless of intentions. For children who can understand it as a joke, it can still come across as condescending. Think about how you would feel, even as an adult, if a vendor did that to you ...


80

For your first question: no, and no. Don't cut off other parents, and don't micromanage things. For your second question: yes, and yes. You can educate her; that's what her life is at this point after all, a long education session. Your daughter is going to have many moments like this through her life, where she sees others and picks up behaviors. That'...


34

You're right to be concerned with regard to your daughter's emotional well-being. She is in for a very rough life (it doesn't end when she leaves home) if something doesn't change. In 1986, Ney et al published a seminal study showing that of 5 kinds of abuse (physical, verbal, sexual, physical neglect and emotional neglect), verbally abused children were ...


30

When a toddler exhibits behaviour like this they are struggling to communicate, and they are struggling to regulate an emotion. It is very hard for parents, when confronted by deliberate "naughtiness" like pooping on a floor, to maintain loving calmness. As I understand it there are two aims: 1) help him develop confidence to play alone and entertain ...


26

In my opinion, if you aren't willing to consider corporal punishment, you are unnecessarily restricting your options. If you don't believe in it but are willing to consider it, I will present the case for it as my experience shows it to be the most effective method for raising a happy, healthy, well-behaved child while fostering a loving relationship. In my ...


26

I don't think there is much that needs to change here, you can't judge the way a child is raised by some isolated incident that happens to be caught on tape. Getting the icecream for the child at this shop is likely a treat / special occasion, intended purely to make the child happy. In that situation, with a child of that age, it's not a good time for ...


25

Joe's analysis is spot on. I went through precisely the same thing with (now 4 year old), and continue to do so. The undesirable behavior changes, but the handling remains the same. I don't think that the five year olds were necessarily responsible for the hitting behavior. From what I have seen hitting seems to be a pretty natural instinct that kids ...


21

Losing your temper and yelling at a child, whether it was appropriate or not, should always be apologized for. As a parent it's our job to keep our cool and handle whatever our children throw at us. Sometimes that's easier than others; and sometimes we will fail to keep calm. Regardless of what the child did, a parent should apologize for losing his/her ...


18

Kids need to be shown how to apologize and who better to learn than their parents. Consider the alternative: you never apologize to your kids even though there are numerous times where you should have. Yes you will control your kids to an environment where it will be easier for you to live in, kids will fear you, they will perform, but they will not grow ...


16

Okay, I'm just gonna tell you what I did...after failing miserably with my teenage boys (who btw. behaved the same way at the same age). So when my 14-year-old baby girl started to show signs of behaving the same way, here is what I didn't do: I did not yell, fight or make empty threats at her. I did not offer rewards for her poor behavior to stop. I did ...


16

Welcome to the world of teenagers (yes, in theory 12 years old, but in reality she is now a teenager). It sounds to me like you are doing things pretty much right. +1 for honouring the privacy of her diary. Teenagers will push boundaries, shout, argue, call you names and outright disobey. They do these things safe in the comfortable knowledge that you will ...


12

Some ideas: Hunger/thirst: My cranky small humans get crankier when they're hungry or thirsty, and if I can see the clouds gathering, I can often head off the storm by offering a snack or a drink. Have you been able to see the grumpiness coming in time to head it off at all? Independent play: We've had success with helping our kids learn to play ...


11

How can I discipline an angry 12-year-old without her hating me for it? First, please question your assumption that your daughter actually hates you. It is highly unlikely that she does; it is highly likely that she actually loves you quite a bit. I would rephrase it this way: How can I discipline an angry 12-year-old without her screaming at me, leaving ...


10

The vendor's behavior was inappropriate, and their failure to manage their customer's expectations was rapidly called out and punished by the child, as it should have been. I consider this kind of ice-cream vendor to be the same kind of person who probably played "piggy in the middle" with younger kids' schoolbags. I have never had the dubious delight of ...


9

In some ways this might be considered a healthier reaction than punching other things. It shows that she is trying to control herself, but she doesn't know how. My son had anger issues and it helped when we got him one of those inflatable punching buddies. We made sure he understood that it was absolutely okay for him to punch it as much and as hard as he ...


9

I can't be more complete than @anongoodnurse, but I can say that you must treat this very seriously. You have to decide whether to take care of your wife, or to take care of your child. You and your wife married each other, and part of that was a (perhaps implicit) promise to take care of each other. But, your wife is an adult. She has friends, relatives, ...


9

If you are teaching the child to yell when they're frustrated by modeling that behavior, then it's a good idea to teach them more valuable lessons like admitting when they were wrong and making for actions done out of frustration. The benefit of learning contrition outweighs the loss of a pretense of infallibility that you could attempt to maintain by ...


8

is getting mad at someone ever an appropriate? Yes, but it should be uncommon. Whenever people are in relationship with another, conflict will inevitably arise. Ideally conflict is resolved in a way that involves mutual respect and brings people closer. Getting angry usually does the opposite. And sometimes, the best way to handle a difference of opinion is ...


7

A friend of mine had a similar problem. His seven year old boy was completely out of control. His tantrums were volcanic, and completely manipulative. They were terrified to go out in public because he would throw things at random strangers and break things just to get back at them for restricting him in any way. A counselor who he went to see with his ...


7

First, you can most certainly help your child unlearn this behavior. Kids learn behaviors from other people. School mates, cousins, friends, other adults, TV characters, etc. will all be places your child will learn both good and bad behaviors. It's your job as a parent to help them turn good behaviors into character traits and reject poor behavior. This ...


6

This is a really tough one as it seems you have tried many of the standard methods to help a child work through his tougher emotions already. On first glance at the title, I actually thought, "how do we not already have some answers addressing this question?" but on reading further, I see your unique challenge. First and foremost I would like to offer the ...


6

First of all, when did that start? How did it escalate? Was it gradual or just happened all of a sudden? Try to discover the source of this behavior, perhaps there is one. If you know it you may be able to handle the situation better. For me, the defecation is crossing the line. Kids fuss, go through tantrums, we have to be understanding, but there also ...


6

It's understandable. Lack of sleep can make anyone cranky and 7-months of poor sleep is enough to try anyone's last nerve. Equally, she could be struggling to cope and might need some help, possibly even medication. We can't immediately tell if she has a problem and diagnosis by internet is rarely effective... but you are the best-placed person to know ...


6

Although it's not clear exactly what you're asking, I can sense your frustration and it sounds like you are fresh out of ideas. So I am assuming you're looking for new ideas, and with that said: When he is in a good mood, sit down with him and ask him what he wants. As in, what he wants out of life in general. What kind of career, family or experiences ...


6

I think you have to be 100% honest. Talking it out during therapy is a good idea. Set rules and follow them. There are set consequences for breaking the rules. Perhaps the therapist can help you decide on appropriate rules/goals and consequences. If Dad is in the loop, please make him a part of it. No one (including parents) can back down or change the ...


6

There was a lot of yelling in my house growing up - first between my mom and dad, then after they got divorced between my dad and step-mom, and by my step-mom (and sometimes my dad) at me and my brother. I thought dealing with problems by yelling was normal and expected, and it took being out in the world for quite a while to realize that yelling is not ...


6

this video appears to be bad parenting to me (I am not a parent and know little to nothing about parenting Actually Laughing, as the mother in the video did, is how most parents I know (family and friends) would have reacted in that situation. And is infact what I did when I watched the video. The look on that poor little guys face is so cute. What ...


5

You are 26 years old. You are an adult, have been an adult for some time. I almost wrote "Your parents can't tell you what to do" - but of course they can. You can listen to them politely, and then do what you want. But they are your parents, they will tell you what to do, and nothing in the world is going to stop them - unless they either die or they stop ...


5

I would look into either counseling or getting yourself into something like guided meditation to learn how to manage your reactions. You have to be able to not take is so personally & let it alter your trajectory, for your own sake and because you cannot teach him how to handle his feelings while yourself being so easily provoked by other people's moods ...


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