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51 votes
Accepted

How can we motivate a young adult without breaking the family?

Joe's excellent answer is sufficient in itself. I just wanted to add my experience as a parent (and maybe my experience with troubled kids.) This is one of the hardest phases of parenting: the (nearly)...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
33 votes

How can we motivate a young adult without breaking the family?

What worked for a family member of one of my relatives was fairly straightforward: set rules or limits based on what works for the parents, and largely otherwise letting go. The parents spent years ...
Joe's user avatar
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15 votes
Accepted

Can we say "bad boy" to my 2-year-old son if he misbehaves or does something which we don't like?

The key with these sorts of behaviors, in particular at this age, is to focus on the behavior, not the child's self. If he's a "bad boy", then he can't help what he's doing - he's just bad, ...
Joe's user avatar
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13 votes

How can we motivate a young adult without breaking the family?

I'm not a parent, but once upon a time I was a somewhat similarly troubled young adult -- you mentioned she spends a significant amount of time reading, so maybe suggest she try her hand at writing? ...
CCJ's user avatar
  • 231
8 votes

Explaining to children about one parent's silent treatment of the other

I fear your children will learn your wife's method of dealing with strife or rebuff or setback. You might start documenting such incidents for possible future use in legal proceedings concerning ...
Zayde in NY's user avatar
7 votes

How can we motivate a young adult without breaking the family?

This is based on my experience as a young adult whose life ground to a halt for a long, long time. First of all, I believe you should act, immediately. Your daughter is not a functioning adult. And ...
Artelius's user avatar
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7 votes
Accepted

Explaining to children about one parent's silent treatment of the other

Being emotionally available to your children is probably the best thing you can do for them in such a situation. Make time just for them, and make it about them. Regardless of what your goals for ...
zugzwang's user avatar
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6 votes

How to stop my 5-year-old from being very combative to my 2-year-old?

In one part of your description, you said he is constantly mean to my baby! This may be reflective of something that is part of the issue. Remember that until a couple of years ago, the one who ...
Mrssbolton's user avatar
5 votes
Accepted

optimal way to handle autistic child's aggression against sibling?

The best way to deal with autistic meltdowns in a young child is to avoid them as much as you can. Get ahead of the problem by redirecting her away from the upsetting situation as soon as she starts ...
Meg's user avatar
  • 7,874
5 votes

How can we motivate a young adult without breaking the family?

Not a parent but a child who had massive difficulties entering adulthood. Social anxiety, depression, OCD, terrible self-esteem... Perfect configuration for failure. I tried university, ended up very ...
user3262284's user avatar
5 votes

Techniques to handle a stubborn newborn that doesn't want to sleep

I know you are a new Parent. My boy turned 1 yesterday, so I have seen all that you are going through. I think the answer is not in engineering. You need to understand as a human what he is going ...
mehta's user avatar
  • 191
4 votes

Techniques to handle a stubborn newborn that doesn't want to sleep

As a scientist 😉 I think it is important to understand what is happening and act accordingly. A newborn cannot be trained - they are not at that level of mental development yet, this will come in... ...
Roger V.'s user avatar
  • 781
4 votes

How to handle an 11-year-old boy who doesn't study anymore and reacts aggressively towards me?

This sounds like a very difficult, complex situation, and potentially already dangerous for him and you. In the best of cases it will take a long time to work through. The question naturally lacks ...
Jonah Benton's user avatar
4 votes
Accepted

How to stop a kid from beating head against things when he's upset?

From what I understand about this behavior, it is done out of frustration due to not being able to adequately communicate their needs/emotions to others or they feel misunderstood. At that age, it ...
ELMikes's user avatar
  • 56
3 votes

How can we motivate a young adult without breaking the family?

your daughter sounds like me for many years. what i had was untreated major depression. my parents denied i had it for many years, and i tried to "power through" until i had a major ...
mku's user avatar
  • 131
3 votes

Can we say "bad boy" to my 2-year-old son if he misbehaves or does something which we don't like?

Keep in mind that this is a long game you’re playing. You can change your response today, but kids take time get accustomed to that and at that age they’re constantly changing. In Other words don’t ...
Chris Umphlett's user avatar
3 votes

Explaining to children about one parent's silent treatment of the other

I don’t think it’s necessary to say that you had a fight, per se - there have been a few times when it was obvious to my son that my husband and I were in a very bad place with one another emotionally,...
MAA's user avatar
  • 3,213
3 votes

Explaining to children about one parent's silent treatment of the other

I would wait and see how the morning or day goes. If your children seem to notice and wonder, you can still say something along the lines of Mommy is still angry with daddy. We had an argument ...
Stephie's user avatar
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2 votes

Techniques to handle a stubborn newborn that doesn't want to sleep

This answer is coming from a new dad with a now 6 week old, and a software engineer who understand why you're coming at it from the angle that you are. I want to know what your experience with ...
Flater's user avatar
  • 1,485
2 votes

Toddler struggling to adjust to new class in daycare

My son went through a similar and very difficult period at daycare around the same age. Anecdotally, it seemed to be related to three factors: When he changed classes, he went from a very strong ...
Meg's user avatar
  • 7,874
1 vote

optimal way to handle autistic child's aggression against sibling?

When siblings fight, especially if one has autism, it's important to handle it carefully. Safety is key to preventing harm during conflicts. Your daughter's recent diagnosis and behavior challenges ...
Maggie Walker's user avatar
1 vote

How can we motivate a young adult without breaking the family?

Also not a parent, but I've known a lot of people who have had this problem or something similar. Take heart, because neither you nor she is alone in this. It seems to me that people who fall into ...
The Dude's user avatar
  • 150

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