Hot answers tagged

176

You say that you don't want him to play it -- that's your answer, you should not buy it for him. Parents set the rules. Explaining why you aren't buying it can help him accept this decision more gracefully. It's an adult-rated game and he isn't (nearly!) old enough, you disagree with the content and lifestyle that it's portraying, you're concerned he will ...


59

In addition to the pretty good answers already provided, I'd like to point out that GTA 5 is not in any way suitable for a 10 year old. There is one specific mission that gives a very good example why this game might not even be appropriate for some younger adults: Of course, ultimately it comes down to your judgment as a parent.


50

Am I the only person who thinks that it's entirely trivial for the next person to use the toilet to correct the seat position for their needs? I don't see why this is worth complaining about. Just teach your kids to make sure the seat is where they need it to be so that they can do what they need to do, and leave it at that. The whole "men must be the ...


26

I guess it boils down to whether you think your son can cope with the content, i.e. can distinguish between the fiction and reality and process the displayed emotions and actions, or not. In my experience 10 year olds usually can't do this well enough on their own yet for content presented in the GTA series. As a rule of thumb, our son, now also ten years ...


23

Please let me first assure you that I'm speaking from experience here. Your post is pure music to my ears. I have a son who has ADHD and ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder.) I had heard of ODD, but thought it was just an excuse for poor parenting, then my son started to show signs of it. My child's therapist (he started in therapy at 12, and we started in ...


22

Wrong expectations lead to disappointment. Let him know in advance that GTA is not what he's getting for his birthday and ask him what he wants instead. You and others who raise the kid (partner, grandparents, etc) should also start discussing some more questions that will come up soon: What's your take on age appropriate content in other media (games, ...


20

As a person with ADD, I can tell you what helps with me. Post-it notes! Put a post-it note or a bright colored sheet on the wall reminding everyone (don't single him out) to "Please close the toilet seat when you have finished your business". Bright colors! I use neon yellow post-its to remind me of things I have to do consistently.


20

To agree with several of the above non-answers, and actually answer the question, as posted: the healthiest, smartest, most sensical means of teaching him to either not raise the toilet seat or to at least return it to closed would be ...to be a good example. For the several reasons already mentioned about gender roles, health, toddler safety, etc, just ...


16

Someone will probably comment that ODD and ADHD can't be diagnosed reliably in a preschooler. Not only is that unhelpful, it's also untrue. I can't speak to your child's ADHD, but it sure sounds like they have ODD. What can you do? It's hard to say, because you don't mention everything that you do try before the tantrums erupt. You don't say what kind of ...


15

One of the most useful things I learned with regards to being on time for things, as I raised my children (8 and 10 now), is this: don't worry about being on time today. No matter what it is, don't worry about this instance of tardiness. Stressing about this instance is the absolute best way to make sure that you are late this time - and maybe next time, ...


13

Be consistent. Rather than making the toilet a "special case", focus on teaching your child to close things he's opened when he's done with them. If you open the fridge, you close the door when you're done. When you open the door to go outside, you close it when you've gone through it. If you open a jar of pickles, you close the lid when you're done. If ...


12

I'm going to play the devil's advocate here as most of the answers are very similar. By age 10, barring a severe development disability, a child knows what is and isn't real (https://news.utexas.edu/2006/11/27/psychology). I played games that weren't always what was considered age appropriate (Doom, Wolfenstein, etc - probably at age 10 or younger; I also ...


11

There are seats that come down on their own, like a slow spring, it's down a few minutes later. I would not put this kind of emotional pressure on a 10 year old, even without ADHD. But for your son, I'd choose very carefully what to make an issue.


9

Try it yourself before you buy it, and/or watch an IGN or related video game review. GTA V has been out for a few years now so there will be plenty of opportunities to rent or buy it used for a reasonably low price. Parents should ALWAYS play or thoroughly review Mature-level games before letting their kids claim ownership of one. If you feel he can handle ...


9

I am not an expert on ADHD and can not emphasize enough that what I am about to say is not easy to do in practice without addressing ADHD or any other emotional/cognitive condition. As with everything I write, I am not a professional, merely passionate. Professional counsel will always supersede anything I write. When a child breaks down in tears when not ...


8

I believe one of the original points about putting the "seat" down (actually the entire lid) is so that it doesn't spray stuff everywhere when you flush. When you flush, polluted water vapour escapes and takes ages to settle - and there are probably things in any bathroom you don't want all those germs on. Dr Charles Gerba PhD did a study on this which ...


8

We couldn't wait any longer. Our daughter confronted us about why we wanted her to make her take "happy pills" and that it was silly to expect someone to be happy all the time. I told her that whoever told her they were "happy pills" was very, very wrong. I then made a concrete analogy between her inattentive-ADD and her brother's colorblindness. Just like ...


8

I have experienced something similar to your son (although a lot milder I suspect), however I am a professional software engineer and in my very limited free time I make games. Something I've always struggled with is having a fixed intelligence mentality. I was intelligent enough to breeze through most of secondary school, and was expected to get top marks ...


7

I'm always amused in these discussions, where women take the view that men are "at fault" because we leave the seat up. Excuse me? I'm responsible for you not watching where you're putting your butt? I never even heard of this "issue" until my girlfriend gave an anguished squawk one morning and "accused" me of leaving the seat up. My response? "Yup. So?". ...


7

I'm not going to speculate on whether or not your stepson has ADHD. I haven't met him, I am not a developmental psychologist, and even if I was it would be impossible to diagnose over the internet. However, I've got a son with ADHD, and so I can provide some information relevant to why your two households are perceiving the same child so differently. It's ...


7

I regularly worked as sound engineer on child and teenage vacations with a touring musical (band and choir) and have made very good experiences with explicitly picking male ADHD children as helpers/roadies. In my experience they tend to keep a good memory of the things explained. can think logical / have a great understanding of technical stuff can ...


7

I'm wondering if your son was misdiagnosed with ADHD. The Resperdone should calm someone with ADHD and only stimulates someone who doesn't have ADHD. If the diagnosis was made by a a professional whose specialty is ADHD, it is likely correct, but if it was your family doctor or someone with minimal knowledge and exposure to it, it could be wrong. Doctors ...


7

As someone who suffers from depression and anxiety and was finally diagnosed with ADHD in their 30's, I feel your pain on this one. What can you do to convince your mother you have them? Unfortunately, it sounds like nothing. You've tried that and she doesn't believe you. Whether it's because she doesn't believe that these things exist at all or just ...


6

I also have a son with ADHD, and am mildly chagrined to realize I haven't yet given much thought to his life after my household. A web search for "job suitable for adhd" turns up a few lists. Some common results: Military Medical (doctor or nurse) Police or Firefighter Truck driver Sales (particularly commission-based) Entertainment These tend to ...


6

While a formal diagnosis may not be important, I think it is important to explore the possibility of your child being dyslexic in addition to (or possibly instead of) being ADHD. We suspected that our son was dyslexic due to the significant differences in his abilities in most subjects versus his reading abilities. He was able to compensate so well that ...


6

Based on experience with two adults with diagnosed ADD/ADHD, if your daughter really has ADD - as opposed to the normal limited attention span of a 7 year old - then big picture strategic things like an organization plan will be exceptionally difficult for her as it heavily stresses executive function. You might be better off just suggesting to her that she ...


6

I taught special needs students, including autistic students for over 30 years. We did yoga and meditation to varying degrees of success every day. We started with 30 seconds of meditation -- yoga breathing was the 'warm-up'. We worked our way up to ten minutes over the school year. The meditation was simple, count breaths or listen to a count. It depends ...


6

They can help though I think it varies from case to case. In my experience, having been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD over 10 years ago, having something to fidget with in your hands can be useful in keeping overactive hands busy. However, they can quickly become a distraction if the thing you are trying to focus on isn't pulling enough on you attention or if you ...


6

While not an official DSM symptom of ADHD, Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria is a common issue with ADHD. I'm just learning what to do with an ADHD child, so take this advice lightly: I've started working with the child to identify the emotion, talk about how they're behaving, whether it's working, and how to react differently. I'm also trying to reassure ...


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