Hot answers tagged

130 votes

I am 21 and I am terrified beyond belief of my father

You are 21. You are an adult under Egyptian law. If you need missing papers, you can apply for them without having a guardian. You only need someone to vouch that you live with them, which brings us ...
113 votes

My 21-year-old adult son hates me

This is a situation in which you cannot change your son's behavior; you need to either adjust your expectations (i.e. change yourself, the only person you really have control over), or let him suffer ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
51 votes

My 21-year-old adult son hates me

I have never posted on this exchange before - but I read this and couldn't help myself. Let me first say I have no background in parenting other than raising my 2 children. I have read no parenting ...
Radmation's user avatar
  • 651
42 votes

My 21-year-old adult son hates me

he says not to piss him off because if I do, be prepared for his rage; he will stop at nothing to bury me. That is a threat, and you should call the police to report it. For your son to respect you,...
aparente001's user avatar
  • 5,047
31 votes

Is it possible for an 8 year girl to be sexually abused and enjoy it?

I'm tempted to answer "Yes.", but that would be totally misleading. So the long answer, because we need to examine the mechanisms that are at work in such cases: When we think abuse, we often ...
Stephie's user avatar
  • 18.1k
22 votes

I am 21 and I am terrified beyond belief of my father

sorry to hear about your situation. It is for sure a very difficult situation. The fact you are feeling anxiety is natural and very understandable, so don't be down on yourself for that. The fact you ...
jimi's user avatar
  • 221
21 votes

Is yelling often at kids equivalent to abuse?

How would you feel - honestly - if your employer (or anyone in a position of power over you) yelled at you to enforce their will ( regardless of whether you agree or not)? Would you feel respected, ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
19 votes

I am 21 and I am terrified beyond belief of my father

Sounds scary. I would advise you to join the army. The army in Egypt has a two year term of service which will go by in no time - as a woman, administrative and medical jobs are the only available ...
Dr. Spock's user avatar
  • 393
18 votes

My 21-year-old adult son hates me

"What can i do?" Well it depends on what responses from him you're willing to put up with. Are you willing to get in a fight over this? Are you willing to have him be mad at you? Are you ...
LCIII's user avatar
  • 1,742
17 votes
Accepted

What should I do before calling the police if I suspect child abuse in the neighbourhood?

Given 21st century American culture, I'd be very careful either way. If a child is really being tortured, I certainly wouldn't want to just brush it off with "oh, kids cry and scream sometimes", and ...
Jay's user avatar
  • 1,188
17 votes

What should I do before calling the police if I suspect child abuse in the neighbourhood?

Let's not beat around the bush... Do not ignore the situation if you believe there is abuse taking place. Child Protective Services would be a better place to call than the police if you cannot see ...
James Snell's user avatar
  • 5,102
16 votes

Is yelling often at kids equivalent to abuse?

To go beyond your question, remember this, your kids are learning from you too. Not only will they be this way as parents, but it will be their default way to handle conflict and frustration in their ...
Adam Heeg's user avatar
  • 3,368
15 votes

Is it possible for an 8 year girl to be sexually abused and enjoy it?

Physically - Yes. Mentally - No! In my experience (foster parent - seen this way too much, unfortunately), kids this age know that this isn't right. Physically, they might enjoy the stimulation - it'...
swilliams's user avatar
  • 1,554
15 votes

My son has been offered money by a classmate, if he would pull down his underwear

Is this a problem? My personal feeling is that, yes it is. The issue here is one potentially of child abuse -- not your children, but of M. I would question whether M has been subjected to ...
David Boshton's user avatar
15 votes

My 21-year-old adult son hates me

And he says not to piss him off because if I do, be prepared for his rage; he will stop at nothing to bury me. This is a serious threat. And he has shown he will not shy away from physical violence: ...
SQB's user avatar
  • 1,521
14 votes
Accepted

Should I allow my preschooler to play with other parents at the playground?

Based on the additional information provided in the comments and to paraphrase the question: You are concerned that an unknown male parent in a public park and with their own child of a similar age ...
James Snell's user avatar
  • 5,102
13 votes

What should I do before calling the police if I suspect child abuse in the neighbourhood?

Crying is not prima facie evidence of abuse. Often, quite the opposite. My family might as well be the one you're talking about. My son cries at the drop of a hat. One of the main reasons we ...
Karl Bielefeldt's user avatar
13 votes

How can I protect my children from a pedophile uncle?

I have personal experience with nearly the same situation: family members who protect and prioritize a criminal rather than children. The difference between yours and my situation is that the creep is ...
Jax's user avatar
  • 5,205
11 votes
Accepted

Should a 6 year old's grandmother be kept away if she is abusive to her father?

TL:DR: Set boundaries. This is not at all uncommon, and because of that, it takes a fair amount of insight to label yelling as abuse, but abuse it is. You're asking if witnessing abuse is bad for ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
10 votes

My 21-year-old adult son hates me

This seems to me analogous to living with an alcoholic: you go along with their behaviour, and eventually you're living in a situation with someone else's 'rules'. "... be prepared for his rage; he ...
ChrisW's user avatar
  • 1,000
10 votes
Accepted

Ideas for a poster helping kids deal with an emotionally abusive environment

If your kids can't read yet, it won't help too much. If your wife isn't on board, I can see some big problems ahead with this approach if she doesn't respect boundaries. (tearing the poster down, for ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
9 votes
Accepted

Absent Father vs. Father with alcohol addiction

Clearly it's all a matter of degree. An absent father is not good for the child. And there are different kinds of "absent" fathers: Fathers who just disappear, fathers who disappear but support the ...
gnasher729's user avatar
  • 1,537
9 votes

helping a child deal with a parent who lies

Just let your children know that they're smart enough to know the truth and what they've done. If they aren't certain, give them a journal and tell them that they can start writing down anything they ...
Dan Clarke's user avatar
  • 1,366
9 votes
Accepted

Where can I find statistics about child abuse offenders?

I don't know any organization that collects and makes available the statistics you're looking for. What follows is an attempt to provide a summary of the statistics I did come across; sprinkled with ...
Pascal remembers Monica's user avatar
8 votes

I am 21 and I am terrified beyond belief of my father

I'm across the border from you in Israel. I happen to know a Beduin girl who was in a very similar situation to you, and she claimed that it is very very common. I lost touch with her when she did the ...
dotancohen's user avatar
  • 1,320
8 votes

My 21-year-old adult son hates me

The first thing you need to do, is deal with his rage threat. You need to let him know that it is never acceptable to blow up at you and he cannot live with you if he does. If you aren't comfortable ...
Philip Tinney's user avatar
8 votes

Explaining to children about one parent's silent treatment of the other

I fear your children will learn your wife's method of dealing with strife or rebuff or setback. You might start documenting such incidents for possible future use in legal proceedings concerning ...
Zayde in NY's user avatar
7 votes
Accepted

Parenting with a formerly abused partner?

As a parent who grew up in an abusive home-life situation, I can connect with your wife's perspective. Growing up, I never knew when the next blow was coming. I could say something "wrong", have an ...
Francine DeGrood Taylor's user avatar
7 votes
Accepted

Explaining to children about one parent's silent treatment of the other

Being emotionally available to your children is probably the best thing you can do for them in such a situation. Make time just for them, and make it about them. Regardless of what your goals for ...
zugzwang's user avatar
  • 1,141

Only top scored, non community-wiki answers of a minimum length are eligible