130
votes
I am 21 and I am terrified beyond belief of my father
You are 21. You are an adult under Egyptian law. If you need missing papers, you can apply for them without having a guardian. You only need someone to vouch that you live with them, which brings us ...
113
votes
My 21-year-old adult son hates me
This is a situation in which you cannot change your son's behavior; you need to either adjust your expectations (i.e. change yourself, the only person you really have control over), or let him suffer ...
- 68.2k
51
votes
My 21-year-old adult son hates me
I have never posted on this exchange before - but I read this and couldn't help myself.
Let me first say I have no background in parenting other than raising my 2 children. I have read no parenting ...
- 651
42
votes
My 21-year-old adult son hates me
he says not to piss him off because if I do, be prepared for his rage; he will stop at nothing to bury me.
That is a threat, and you should call the police to report it.
For your son to respect you,...
- 5,047
31
votes
Is it possible for an 8 year girl to be sexually abused and enjoy it?
I'm tempted to answer "Yes.", but that would be totally misleading.
So the long answer, because we need to examine the mechanisms that are at work in such cases:
When we think abuse, we often ...
- 18.1k
22
votes
I am 21 and I am terrified beyond belief of my father
sorry to hear about your situation. It is for sure a very difficult situation. The fact you are feeling anxiety is natural and very understandable, so don't be down on yourself for that. The fact you ...
- 221
21
votes
Is yelling often at kids equivalent to abuse?
How would you feel - honestly - if your employer (or anyone in a position of power over you) yelled at you to enforce their will ( regardless of whether you agree or not)? Would you feel respected, ...
- 68.2k
19
votes
I am 21 and I am terrified beyond belief of my father
Sounds scary.
I would advise you to join the army. The army in Egypt has a two year term of service which will go by in no time - as a woman, administrative and medical jobs are the only available ...
- 393
18
votes
My 21-year-old adult son hates me
"What can i do?"
Well it depends on what responses from him you're willing to put up with. Are you willing to get in a fight over this? Are you willing to have him be mad at you? Are you ...
- 1,742
17
votes
Accepted
What should I do before calling the police if I suspect child abuse in the neighbourhood?
Given 21st century American culture, I'd be very careful either way.
If a child is really being tortured, I certainly wouldn't want to just brush it off with "oh, kids cry and scream sometimes", and ...
- 1,188
17
votes
What should I do before calling the police if I suspect child abuse in the neighbourhood?
Let's not beat around the bush...
Do not ignore the situation if you believe there is abuse taking place.
Child Protective Services would be a better place to call than the police if you cannot see ...
- 5,102
16
votes
Is yelling often at kids equivalent to abuse?
To go beyond your question, remember this, your kids are learning from you too. Not only will they be this way as parents, but it will be their default way to handle conflict and frustration in their ...
- 3,368
15
votes
Is it possible for an 8 year girl to be sexually abused and enjoy it?
Physically - Yes.
Mentally - No!
In my experience (foster parent - seen this way too much, unfortunately), kids this age know that this isn't right. Physically, they might enjoy the stimulation - it'...
- 1,554
15
votes
My son has been offered money by a classmate, if he would pull down his underwear
Is this a problem?
My personal feeling is that, yes it is. The issue here is one potentially of child abuse -- not your children, but of M. I would question whether M has been subjected to ...
- 3,855
15
votes
My 21-year-old adult son hates me
And he says not to piss him off because if I do, be prepared for his rage; he will stop at nothing to bury me.
This is a serious threat. And he has shown he will not shy away from physical violence:
...
- 1,521
14
votes
Accepted
Should I allow my preschooler to play with other parents at the playground?
Based on the additional information provided in the comments and to paraphrase the question: You are concerned that an unknown male parent in a public park and with their own child of a similar age ...
- 5,102
13
votes
What should I do before calling the police if I suspect child abuse in the neighbourhood?
Crying is not prima facie evidence of abuse. Often, quite the opposite.
My family might as well be the one you're talking about. My son cries at the drop of a hat. One of the main reasons we ...
- 36k
13
votes
How can I protect my children from a pedophile uncle?
I have personal experience with nearly the same situation: family members who protect and prioritize a criminal rather than children. The difference between yours and my situation is that the creep is ...
- 5,205
11
votes
Accepted
Should a 6 year old's grandmother be kept away if she is abusive to her father?
TL:DR: Set boundaries.
This is not at all uncommon, and because of that, it takes a fair amount of insight to label yelling as abuse, but abuse it is. You're asking if witnessing abuse is bad for ...
- 68.2k
10
votes
My 21-year-old adult son hates me
This seems to me analogous to living with an alcoholic: you go along with their behaviour, and eventually you're living in a situation with someone else's 'rules'.
"... be prepared for his rage; he ...
- 1,000
10
votes
Accepted
Ideas for a poster helping kids deal with an emotionally abusive environment
If your kids can't read yet, it won't help too much. If your wife isn't on board, I can see some big problems ahead with this approach if she doesn't respect boundaries. (tearing the poster down, for ...
- 68.2k
9
votes
Accepted
Absent Father vs. Father with alcohol addiction
Clearly it's all a matter of degree.
An absent father is not good for the child. And there are different kinds of "absent" fathers: Fathers who just disappear, fathers who disappear but support the ...
- 1,537
9
votes
helping a child deal with a parent who lies
Just let your children know that they're smart enough to know the truth and what they've done. If they aren't certain, give them a journal and tell them that they can start writing down anything they ...
- 1,366
9
votes
Accepted
Where can I find statistics about child abuse offenders?
I don't know any organization that collects and makes available the statistics you're looking for. What follows is an attempt to provide a summary of the statistics I did come across; sprinkled with ...
- 8,635
8
votes
I am 21 and I am terrified beyond belief of my father
I'm across the border from you in Israel. I happen to know a Beduin girl who was in a very similar situation to you, and she claimed that it is very very common. I lost touch with her when she did the ...
- 1,320
8
votes
My 21-year-old adult son hates me
The first thing you need to do, is deal with his rage threat. You need to let him know that it is never acceptable to blow up at you and he cannot live with you if he does. If you aren't comfortable ...
- 181
8
votes
Explaining to children about one parent's silent treatment of the other
I fear your children will learn your wife's method of dealing with strife or rebuff or setback. You might start documenting such incidents for possible future use in legal proceedings concerning ...
- 764
7
votes
Accepted
Parenting with a formerly abused partner?
As a parent who grew up in an abusive home-life situation, I can connect with your wife's perspective. Growing up, I never knew when the next blow was coming. I could say something "wrong", have an ...
- 8,987
7
votes
Accepted
Explaining to children about one parent's silent treatment of the other
Being emotionally available to your children is probably the best thing you can do for them in such a situation. Make time just for them, and make it about them. Regardless of what your goals for ...
- 1,141
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