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128

You are 21. You are an adult under Egyptian law. If you need missing papers, you can apply for them without having a guardian. You only need someone to vouch that you live with them, which brings us to: Do you have any person you trust you can talk to? Can this person shelter you or provide you with shelter elsewhere? Don't go to Churches: You surely know ...


112

This is a situation in which you cannot change your son's behavior; you need to either adjust your expectations (i.e. change yourself, the only person you really have control over), or let him suffer the consequences of his bad behavior (i.e. ask him to respect his agreement or to leave.) You have struggled with your son's attitude for a long time. He's an ...


62

Overly sexual behavior for kids is abnormal and often a sign of sexual abuse. You must seek professional help, and based on its conclusions, you may have to involve the law.


50

I have never posted on this exchange before - but I read this and couldn't help myself. Let me first say I have no background in parenting other than raising my 2 children. I have read no parenting books nor think I am the best parent in the world. If I was in your situation I would kick him out. Simple and plain. He is an adult and you are no longer ...


39

he says not to piss him off because if I do, be prepared for his rage; he will stop at nothing to bury me. That is a threat, and you should call the police to report it. For your son to respect you, first you have to respect yourself.


35

Well, it came from somewhere. Someone, at some point, showed him those things in the best case or did such things to him in the worst case. Can't throw accusations around and it doesn't really matter now - the damage has been done, and must be fixed as soon as possible by professional help as suggested in this other answer. What I wanted to add is that in ...


31

I'm tempted to answer "Yes.", but that would be totally misleading. So the long answer, because we need to examine the mechanisms that are at work in such cases: When we think abuse, we often imagine the mysterious stranger that snags little boys and girls and does unmentionable cruel things to them. And yes, these cases happen. But: The majority of ...


26

There are no easy answers. You need to seek professional help and encourage your mother to do the same. A domestic violence helpline is a good place to start. Be patient and supportive, and help her get into a position where she is strong and self confident enough to do what she needs to do for herself.


25

I want to address a particular issue I see in the comments: the (important) distinction between punishments and consequences. Punishments are distinct from consequences, and work differently. Many theories of parenting rely on consequences solely, and do not rely on punishments at all. Punishments do not inherently contain violence per se, but they do ...


21

sorry to hear about your situation. It is for sure a very difficult situation. The fact you are feeling anxiety is natural and very understandable, so don't be down on yourself for that. The fact you have survived shows your strength. I think you are seeing the situation with great clarity. Living with ongoing anxiety is definitely best avoided if at all ...


20

There are two questions here: How to protect your daughter against sexual molestation How to explain the concept of rape These are quite distinct, as most cases of sexual molestation don't take the form of violent rape, and in fact most are not committed by "unknown fellows", but by friends and family members. To prevent that, the best method is to teach ...


20

How would you feel - honestly - if your employer (or anyone in a position of power over you) yelled at you to enforce their will ( regardless of whether you agree or not)? Would you feel respected, confident, comfortable, safe? Or would you feel resentful, hurt, fearful, etc.? Children are not immune to yelling and its consequences. If anything, they are ...


18

"What can i do?" Well it depends on what responses from him you're willing to put up with. Are you willing to get in a fight over this? Are you willing to have him be mad at you? Are you willing to have him say unloving things to you and leave? It seems as though you're not: "he moved back home (completely free)" "respect....he says I must earn it." ...


17

First off let me applaud you loudly for taking this step. Many in similar situations are too ashamed to admit it to others. Your mother is one example. Unfortunately, this is a large complex problem, which we can help only minimally online. Google abused women help Which resources look useful to you? In the United States, many cities have shelters ...


17

I suggest that you educate your daughter about good touch and bad touch. For example, if someone touches her on her private areas (explaining what her private areas consist of), then it's bad touch and she needs to inform her mom or dad asap, no matter who the person is. You can tell her that rape is a very, very bad touch in which people get hurt. This can ...


17

Let's not beat around the bush... Do not ignore the situation if you believe there is abuse taking place. Child Protective Services would be a better place to call than the police if you cannot see a crime being committed or the immediate evidence of one. CPS would rather check 100 families and find everything's ok than miss one child who is being ...


17

Given 21st century American culture, I'd be very careful either way. If a child is really being tortured, I certainly wouldn't want to just brush it off with "oh, kids cry and scream sometimes", and allow the abuse to continue. But on the other hand, children can be taken away from their parents for reasons that, in my humble opinion anyway, range from ...


17

Sounds scary. I would advise you to join the army. The army in Egypt has a two year term of service which will go by in no time - as a woman, administrative and medical jobs are the only available role. If you join as a volunteer, you will get much better treatment than if you were conscripted and you might even become an officer. Working in this type of ...


16

I cannot give you legal advice, for that I must say to consult a lawyer. However, I know that at 15yo (the age of my daughter), that such a statement is meaningless. Furthermore, as a natural American, I do not know the cultural requirements implied by being Chinese and in America. That said, in America you have 2 choice as far as I know: Speak with your ...


16

No, punishment is violence. Violence, a fact of life, is a part of nature and their world. The question implicit is what are the tolerable/intolerable externalities of violence and how to manage the potential risks that you fear in accomplishing the desired behavior modification in the child. However, please do reconsider whether you must resort to ...


15

To go beyond your question, remember this, your kids are learning from you too. Not only will they be this way as parents, but it will be their default way to handle conflict and frustration in their life. Kids do what they see us do. I would strongly suggest you try to learn new ways to express your role as the authority figure (including ways of handling ...


14

Your daughter is in pain and is expressing that pain the best she can, but usually that's not enough. Sexual assault has psychological repercussions that can last much, much longer than the physical repercussions. Help her contact RAINN or her local rape crisis center, a psychotherapist who specializes in trauma issues, or both. And do it FAST. Do not ...


14

Is this a problem? My personal feeling is that, yes it is. The issue here is one potentially of child abuse -- not your children, but of M. I would question whether M has been subjected to inappropriate requests, or even subject to CSE. It could actually be nothing, but if M is being abused at home or elsewhere it could save M years of hurt if things were ...


14

Based on the additional information provided in the comments and to paraphrase the question: You are concerned that an unknown male parent in a public park and with their own child of a similar age might abduct/harm your child from right under your nose while you are watching them play a game that has no inappropriate content whatsoever. All this while ...


14

Physically - Yes. Mentally - No! In my experience (foster parent - seen this way too much, unfortunately), kids this age know that this isn't right. Physically, they might enjoy the stimulation - it's a natural response - but that actually tends to make the experience worse emotionally and mentally for the child. People who do this to kids typically go ...


14

And he says not to piss him off because if I do, be prepared for his rage; he will stop at nothing to bury me. This is a serious threat. And he has shown he will not shy away from physical violence: (...) had him arrested at 16 for shoving me into the wall (...) You are in an abusive relationship with your son. Get out. You and your husband need to get ...


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