So, my wife and I are emotionally drained.  Our daughter is 17.  We live in Ontario Canada.  She has met a girl online that is 16 and she wanted to fly to California over Christmas holidays to see her.  Now my daughter says she is not gay, just bi or whatever it is that kids now are calling it.  It doesn't matter what a persons sex is, it is about the person and that's fine, we have no issue with that. 

We had a big argument about it and we told her straight out that she is not flying to California to meet someone.  Apparently the girl in California has "strict" parents so my daughter thinks she can stay in a hotel and just hope that this girl can get away to see her. 

As some background info, my daughter is a very immature 17 year old.  Yes my wife and I have spoiled her, she is an only child and as a result, she is not very independent.  We take her to school, take her to and from her job, she has never had a serious boyfriend or girlfriend. 

 So we thought we had diffused the situation, we have her passport and her birth certificate so she cant fly out of the country but now last night she told us that she is going to go to California in April when she turns 18 no matter what.  

We don't want her to go.  We don't think its safe, my wife is in tears, its affecting us so much that it consumes our days.  We don't know what to do.  We don't even know if this girl is who she says she is.  I have done some checking, phone record lookup, name search, address search.  How do we stop this? do we even get through the day?...How do we convince our extremely stubborn and head strong daughter that this is a bad idea?