I have a 13 year old boy who is totally disrespecting both of us and out of control.  He is totally self-absorbed (as i know most kids are) and he can't handle any situation he hasn't has a clue on how to deal with problems and flies off the handle at the least thing (if he doesn't get his own way - there are holes in his bedroom wall from where he kicked them in temper).  He is always in trouble in school, disrespecting teachers, disrupting the class, not taking instructions my husband knows the principal and vice principal very well and his head teacher - he was down to 2 1/2 days in school but summer broke up and we decided it wasn't a good idea for him to sit his first year summer exams.  It is a community school and there would be a lot of difficult children from various backgrounds.  My son wants to be liked and is the class clown etc etc. We have had him at a psychologist before secondary school started to see if we could all try and get on better etc.  When school started after three weeks he was suspended and we had to go back to the psychologist again this man is a professional and he can't work him out at all. He is smoking and also has been caught smoking weed - which he doesn't think is a problem - we have tried to tell him the dangers etc. but he says we don't have a clue and it is grand.  My husband has now given up on him totally and won't bring him to his football training or anything and I am at my wits end as I have to work full-time as I am the main earner and my husband is at home with the kids.  My son also has huge issues with his twin sisters who are 2.5 years younger than him.  He is a very bright child and never had to try in school he was very clever and when he went into first year he was put in an A class.  He hates been clever and doesn't want to be seen to be clever.  He won't listen to anyone and trying to discipline him is a nightmare.  We figure he has low-self esteem but trying to deal with this is quite hard and now that I might be doing it on my own and holding down a full-time job to keep paying the mortgage is seriously going to make me ill.  Has anybody been through similar situations!! help.