I have an idea for you Stu that you might actually work with.
Here's my idea:
Start talking to your kids about how loneliness can arise in adults when they don't have adult companionship as well as the companionship of kids. I think they will completely understand how lonely you can be because of the passing of your wife. Once they've accepted that you are feeling very lonely in this regard, they will come around. I don't think it will take much time particularly if you describe the loneliness in terms they can understand.
After they come around, you might even consider giving them a little bit of control in helping you find a woman. Don't cut them out of the process. You can have them look at photos of women or talk to women you might be interested in if you see available women at the grocery store or wherever. If you decide to approach it this way, let us know how it worked out. Thanks.