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Questions tagged [tantrums]

Tantrums are emotional outbursts beyond simple crying, found commonly in stressed persons but mostly small children. In parenting, tantrums may relate mostly to toddlers but also apply to other age groups. Questions may be in regards to coping with, deescalating, preventing, or controlling tantrums.

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110
votes
17answers
17k views

How can you deal with tantrums without spanking?

My son just turned 2, and he started throwing more tantrums on us. He doesn't eat well or drink enough milk ... and he is becoming more adamant and says "No" more often. If we force him to drink milk,...
57
votes
11answers
14k views

How do I calm a frustrated 6-year-old?

When our 6-year-old daughter is trying something new and hard (homework, reading a hard word, video games, etc.) she can get into a cycle of frustration and anger that ends with her crying in a ball ...
41
votes
10answers
10k views

Is it possible to spoil a child, but still teach them not to behave spoiled?

My 9-year-old stepson has terrible tantrums. I was abused as a child and used to act out as a result. Teachers and other adults were very hostile to me and failed to recognize my cries for help. So ...
21
votes
7answers
52k views

12 year old with major tantrums that I have no idea how to control help needed

I have a 12 year old daughter who is having screaming, door slamming, hour-long rages at the slightest thing. I also have 2 older daughters, aged 17 and 18, who never did this after they were 2 and ...
20
votes
5answers
5k views

Does good cop/bad cop work with children?

My wife and I have descended into the toddler years with our first. Along with that, she is getting that classic toddler attitude. We understand it's a growing phase and tantrums and outbursts are ...
20
votes
4answers
2k views

3 year old tantrums in public

Yesterday we (wife, 3 year old son, 6 year old daughter, me) were at a mall. After we stepped off the moving pavement my son decided that he wants to go another direction, and pulled his hand out of ...
19
votes
1answer
3k views

Why does my son behave better when he's alone with one parent than with both?

Whenever I'm alone with my son, we play, have fun, and he even plays alone with his toys for a long time; this also happens when my wife is alone with him. However, when we are both present, he ...
18
votes
1answer
2k views

Does a child need to apologize and how should I react while it does not?

Our son is 6 years old and often quite "bullheaded". If something does not go the way he wants, he is very frustrated and quickly shows a tantrum, cries, screams and insults us. We then send him to ...
16
votes
8answers
40k views

3.5yr old pre-schooler cannot deal with frustration

Our 3.5 yr old (will be 4 in July) son has a real difficulty handling frustration to the point that it is driving me and my wife insane. Hardly a day goes by where we don't both end up in tears, ...
15
votes
6answers
15k views

How to react to an indecisive 2.5-year-old?

I have a 2.5-year-old son. It happens mostly when tired but I'll ask him if he wants something and he will say no. Then when I go to put it away or do something else, he freaks out that he wants it. ...
14
votes
3answers
60k views

Any advice on how to react to my 4 year old who gets hysterical instead of solving her “problem”?

My four year old daughter has had this issue recently where if anything goes "wrong" she completely loses it. I put "wrong" in quotes because its the slightest thing and, in particular, its ...
13
votes
4answers
1k views

Strategies to reduce computer game interest

We have a moderately strict rule about electronics time at the house -- as long as their homework, chores, or other responsibilities are finished, each kid gets to play a computer or video game for an ...
13
votes
3answers
867 views

How to control tantrums when neigbors don't let the kid “cry it out”?

Little children (say two/three year olds) frequently have tantrums (I want my ... and I want it NOW!!). Normally, one would let him cry a little, then when he calms down explain why you can't give him ...
13
votes
1answer
4k views

How to help a 3-year-old with vicious temper to express his emotions in a healthy way?

My three year old boy (the middle of three boys; older brother is 9, younger brother is almost 2) is smoldering with anger pretty often. He flies off the handle at little things. I've dealt with a ...
12
votes
3answers
59k views

How can I keep my toddler from scratching himself when he is upset?

Whenever my toddler gets very upset or throws a fit, he has a tendency to rake his fingernails very hard across his face, often drawing blood. Currently one side of his face is covered with scratches ...
11
votes
11answers
12k views

How to deal with a child in an “I can't” phase?

A 3 1/2 year old child has entered an "I can't" phase. He says "he can't" about things he really can do. It becomes hard to detect when to help or not help, because you're supposed to help children ...
11
votes
6answers
85k views

Can temper tantrums indicate a behavior problem?

I understand that temper tantrums are relatively normal for many children. However, some children seem to have far more temper tantrums than other children their age, and others far fewer. Can ...
11
votes
4answers
19k views

How to handle my 9-year-old's uncontrollable raging fits?

We have four kids: a 9-year-old boy, a 6-year-old girl, a 4-year-old boy and a 20-month-old girl. The 9-year-old boy is in general a delightful, well-behaved, kind and considerate boy. Sometimes he ...
11
votes
3answers
68k views

What are some possible ways to deal with night-time tantrums

My daughter, who is coming up for 3 years old has never been a good sleeper. She regularly wakes during the night, sometimes up to 3 or 4 times but more commonly once or twice. More often than not ...
10
votes
6answers
29k views

How do I get a young toddler to walk holding my hand?

Baby boy is just 12 months, but walks really well and prefers to walk. When we are at the grocery store or somewhere we need to go from Point A to Point B, sometimes he doesn't want to go where I ...
10
votes
4answers
29k views

How to deal with tantrums in an 8-year-old child?

We have three boys aged 4, 8 and 10. The youngest and eldest seem to be fine and no issues, but the middle child is quite willful and having tantrums. It's like he never quite grew out of the terrible ...
10
votes
5answers
4k views

Should we change a wet diaper and risk triggering a night tantrum or leave our son be?

Our 2-year old son is going through a rough period - we have cut his breastfeeding to once daily (before bed) and his sleep pattern is changing and is therefore unpredictable. Lately, he will often ...
10
votes
3answers
690 views

My wild 3.5-year-old - have I missed out on the key years of relationship-building and discipline?

I have a 3.5-year-old son. He's bright and energetic, but I'm worried about his behavior, since it seems out of control. He was walking at 7 months. His language has always been good - he knew his ...
10
votes
2answers
424 views

Allowing freedom of choice to toddler/preschooler isn't working, what next?

I've read a lot about giving children the freedom to choose between acceptable choices, to make them feel like they have some control over things and hence reduce tantrums. And I was pretty convinced ...
10
votes
2answers
664 views

How to teach my son that winning is not everything and to lose graciously? My son cries when he loses and quits playing the game

My 5-year-old son cries when he loses a game. He gets impatient and throws tantrums and beats me when he loses. The same thing happens when he plays with his friends also. I have tried to teach him ...
10
votes
1answer
2k views

How do you deal with a spoiled niece?

My 8 year old niece (actually my cousin's daughter) is really quite spoiled. Her parents constantly bribe her to get her to do what they want. We sometimes take vacations together. On these ...
8
votes
9answers
94k views

How can I stop my 5-year-old's violent tantrums?

I am a single mom to a very good 5-year-old little boy ... 90% of the time. About once a week, give or take, he has a meltdown and becomes violent (hitting, scratching, biting, throwing things, etc.). ...
7
votes
5answers
984 views

How do you prepare for the “terrible twos”?

I keep hearing about how bad things get once a child enters the "terrible twos". I know quite a few parents who claim that the age is just a natural time for frequent temper tantrums, and non-stop ...
7
votes
3answers
796 views

What to do about my toddler wanting everything her way?

We have a 2.5-year-old daughter and we're fighting over everything. Literally everything. When she is alone with someone she is good most of the time, however when there are two of us with her, she ...
7
votes
4answers
601 views

What's the best way to deal with a toddler who cries/paddies when she doesn't get her own way?

I have non-identical twin girls, 22 months old. One of them will cry when she doesn't get her own way and she'll do it fairly quickly even if she is in a good mood. For example, if she wants a ...
6
votes
7answers
3k views

How do I teach my child to express his frustration?

My son is two and testing his boundaries. In general, I'm comfortable with that and have no problem with him getting frustrated when he's not allowed to do something. Unfortunately, his normal mode ...
6
votes
1answer
707 views

How can I help my 14-year-old daughter be less angry?

My daughter is 14. She is usually very good and not hard to cope with, but sometimes she gets very angry. For example, when I take away her phone, or her sisters use her belongings, or she can't do ...
6
votes
3answers
315 views

How to help 3-year-old son not immediately start whining/throwing fit

I want to start out saying that I realize there is nothing unusual about my son's behavior as I'm about to describe, especially considering the situation (new baby). I am just wondering what, if ...
6
votes
4answers
1k views

How to stop my 4-year-old from having tantrums at preschool?

My 4-, soon to be 5-, year-old daughter has temper tantrums at preschool. She does not have them for me and has not had them for me for the past couple of years. I never fed her temper tantrums. It ...
6
votes
3answers
3k views

What to do about my toddler who suddenly started screaming when I mention bathing or give her a bath?

I have an 18-month-old daughter. She loved having a bath from birth, and now all of a sudden she screams her head off when I mention bath or give her a bath. It's really stressing me out. I don't know ...
6
votes
3answers
592 views

Where can I get help for my 13-year-old daughter whose tantrums get physical?

I have a 13-year-old daughter. She has had a tantrum tonight after her and her sister got in a little argument. My 13-year-old daughter got to the point where she got physical with my other daughter. ...
6
votes
1answer
358 views

My 1-year-old freaks out on her father

So we have a beautiful one-year-old daughter and she has always been a daddy‘s girl up until about a week ago. She started freaking out anytime her dad will go to hold her, change her, or even trying ...
6
votes
1answer
502 views

How do I deal with my out of control 3-year-old?

My son will be 4 in a month, and he is very aggressive toward his brothers. He hits, kicks, bites them and takes their toys. He screams at my 1-year-old constantly when he touches anything or ...
6
votes
3answers
14k views

How can I encourage my toddler to walk and not be carried?

My 2½ year-old is a very capable walker, but often he decides he just doesn't want to do it. Usually, when we go out, he goes in the push-chair. But sometimes he wriggles and screams until we are ...
6
votes
2answers
3k views

What to do about my 3.5-year-old daughter's tantrums, which have worsened?

My daughter has not really had many full-blown tantrums when she was younger, ever. But now at 3.5 years old, almost 4 years old (on 8/27). She has been having the worst tantrums ever. First, she used ...
5
votes
9answers
9k views

How can we avoid tantrums over sweets and cakes?

From the moment he wakes to the moment he falls asleep my toddler barely ever stops asking for "chocolate", "sweeties" or "cakes". He frequently doesn't eat his meals well, but we are fairly strict ...
5
votes
4answers
203 views

How to keep a 21-month-old safe, who has learned how to climb out of his crib when angry?

My 21-month-old grandson lives with his Daddy, Nana, and me, Grandma. In the last 3 weeks he has started having temper tantrums. We used to put him in his Pack-n-Play, or crib for time out, but he ...
5
votes
2answers
650 views

Is it wrong for a parent to partake in screaming/dominating competitions with their kids?

I'm not the parent and I don't have any kids, so this is just based on what I observe. There's this mother who, when her daughter (about 3 years old) starts crying and making a fuss, she'll lose her ...
5
votes
4answers
484 views

5-year-old tantrums and misbehavior - what am I doing wrong?

My two boys are 4-years-old and 11 months; they will be 5 and 1 next month. My oldest is exceedingly stubborn, and he's displaying strong leadership traits. When he has his mind set on something, his ...
5
votes
3answers
2k views

What's an effective way to deal with toddler transition tantrums (“I don't want to stop yet?”)

This isn't a question about what general incentives or methods of discipline work best. I'm looking for techniques specific to transitions, like when it's time to stop playing and go somewhere, etc. ...
5
votes
4answers
3k views

3-year-old acts out for parents, but not for nanny

My wife and I are having trouble with our 2.5/3-year-old daughter. We have a newborn (1 month old) that we believe is the reason. We are guessing she is jealous of the attention that her new baby ...
5
votes
3answers
2k views

How to deal with my 5-year-old son who has ADD/ADHD and constantly misbehaves?

We live in Texas. My child is 5 years old and an only child. I was a single mom up until 10 months ago. From the age of 9 months until 3 months ago I was the only one caring for and raising my child. ...
5
votes
3answers
6k views

How should I deal with a 3 year old storming off and sulking over minor incidents

I have three children, a five year old, a three year old and a 10 month old baby. At the slightest thing, the three year old will get annoyed and storm off in a sulk. It could be anything from being ...
5
votes
3answers
557 views

How do I handle my toddler's temper tantrums?

I have a 19-month-old daughter. She is a very active child, and usually very well behaved. But in recent times I have noticed that she is constantly whining and also throwing temper tantrums - if she ...
5
votes
2answers
157 views

How to stop our 2-year-old's bedtime tantrums and make her sleep through the night?

Our daughter is approaching 2 and has consistently had issues with bedtime. At the mention of bedtime, she will regularly start crying (but still follows me upstairs to bed). In general, one of us ...