Questions tagged [step-parents]

Questions regarding the relationship dynamics between a step-parent and a child.

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4
votes
2answers
282 views

How do i tell my daughter her dad isnt really her dad?

This is weighing so heavy right now. I had my daughter with my ex when I was 20. She is 8 now. To make things simple, my ex husband and I married at a young age and our relationship was rocky. ...
9
votes
5answers
32k views

How to stop a (seven-year-old) child from constantly making silly, nonsensical noises and actions?

I am step father to a seven-year-old boy (let's call him H). H's father is very much involved in his life. He sees him every night for a couple of hours and they (Mother and Father) alternate weekends....
3
votes
4answers
7k views

What is the appropriate age to tell my daughter that her biological father doesn't want to be a part of her life?

I had a beautiful daughter with my very first boyfriend at the age of 16. He was 18 at the time and he was very careless about the whole situation. He was a high school dropout, selling and using ...
4
votes
0answers
329 views

How to teach my 22 year old stepson to communicate instead of burning inside?

I became stepdad to an adult boy (22) (I am not the biological dad). He didn't have anyone to teach him or a father-like figure since his dad passed away when he was 7. He never went to college or ...
4
votes
2answers
387 views

Looking for options to deal with 18-yo who refuses to grow up [closed]

My stepdaughter has recently turned 18. She has severe behavioral problems: she urinates in her bedroom, often in her clothes; she starts fires with a lighter; and she refuses to do anything other ...
15
votes
7answers
6k views

I love my step son so much but it irritates me when he compares me to his dad

My step-son keeps comparing me to his biological father, and I don't know why. I've been in a relationship with this woman for almost 3 years. She has been married previously and has a 6 year old son....
1
vote
1answer
169 views

A stepchild learned I am not their biological parent. How to navigate the relationship? [closed]

When I met my wife initially I did not know that she had a child. Over time, I learned of this news and asked her to marry me after 3 years of dating. My wife made the decision to tell him that I was ...
6
votes
6answers
3k views

7yo step-son runs away when he thinks he's in trouble

The child in this case is 7 years old. Just as an example; maybe he breaks his own toy, clearly by accident, but right after I asked him not to do whatever caused the breaking. I would like to calmly ...
11
votes
5answers
8k views

How should an infant refer to its biological father and step father?

Ex-Wife and I separated when our only child was two. She quickly found another partner and they are now living together as married. I still have regular visits and sleepovers with infant. ...
3
votes
2answers
208 views

What should one year old call his step-dad/ bio-dad?

Background: I was in my last relationship for 10 years, and the last 6 he was abusive to me and a drug addict/alcoholic. I was finally able to leave him and moved away, but he found me, and after “...
1
vote
4answers
785 views

I'm a step father, I don't have any children of my own, how do I deal with a teen boy that acts extremely feminine?

I have been with my fiancee for a little over 4 years. I met her son when he was ten and he is now 14. In the beginning I felt in my personal opinion that he was a little bit of a "Momma's boy" but I ...
3
votes
0answers
190 views

How to get husband to clean his daughter's room? [closed]

my husband's 17 yr old daughter (who is not my daughter nor have I raised her--we have been together 4 yrs) has very crippling mental health issues. One of her issues is compulsive hoarding and ...
1
vote
1answer
710 views

Telling a child you’re not their biological parent

History : my partner has a child with his ex , which is not his biological child but he knew this before birth (as she was already pregnant) . The relationship didn't last long but he stuck by the ...
0
votes
2answers
1k views

What causes a 7 year old to be overly affectionate

My 7 year old daughter has very recently become very affectionate with her soon to be step dad. What could cause this? She doesn't see her dad often, but calls him daily. Could it be as simple as she ...
5
votes
2answers
585 views

Topics for kids for moving in with girlfriend and kids [closed]

I'm somewhat of a shy guy, more precisely though I just don't know what to talk about. My problem is that I've moved in with my girlfriend, and she has two kids, a girl aged 12 and a boy aged 14, and ...
4
votes
2answers
853 views

What to do about my constantly crying 4-year-old step-daughter?

I have a just turned 4-year-old step daughter whose life I have been in for almost two years. In July, we went on vacation (myself, my 16-year-old son, one of his friends, my 12-year-old daughter, one ...
11
votes
2answers
993 views

How should we support 16 year old step sister who ran away from home

We're in Canada, if that's relevant. My partner and I live by ourselves (late 20's), and my partner's 16 year old step-sister has recently fled an emotionally abusive home life (no physical abuse so ...
12
votes
1answer
1k views

How to explain the “fun parent” phenomenon to a 5-year-old?

I'm a step-dad to 3 girls under 6. The eldest is still fairly enamored by bio-dad and while I won't go into the details; he's a man-child. The 3-year-old just follows the eldest at present, but I'm ...
6
votes
2answers
508 views

How to improve the relationship between my misbehaving 8-year-old stepchild and me?

I've been with my other half for nearly 4 years and have been known to his now 8-year-old daughterfor a little longer than that. She has been aware of our relationship for around 3.5 years. When we ...
13
votes
20answers
58k views

What should children call a step-grandparent?

My mom remarried to a great guy who has been absolutely wonderful to my kids. Ever since my mom and he were dating my kids have called him Mr. Joe. Lately my mom has been bugging me to get the kids to ...
8
votes
5answers
2k views

How to be a step-mom to a troubled (or hurt) 5-year-old?

A Bit About Myself I am in my late 20's, and I am a fairly-new-mom. I have been married to my daughter's father for about a year now, but I have been around kids my entire life. I have always had ...
3
votes
1answer
285 views

16-year old step daugher is mentally ill and aggressive to me - how much should I be involved?

My spouse’s 16 year old daughter is mentally ill. She has been diagnosed with Reactive attachment disorder (RAD) and is in treatment. Of late, her behavior has worsened to the point where she responds ...
29
votes
9answers
70k views

How and when should I tell my son that his amazing father isn't his biological father?

My son is going on 5 and starting to learn a lot about how we're created. I've been with my husband for 10 years, but nearly 6 years ago I had no other choice but to move 1000 miles away and after ...
0
votes
1answer
4k views

How to tell my teenage stepdaughter to not leave her sanitary pad open in her room?

I have a 14-year-old stepdaughter and 11-month-old twins. I am on the verge of collapse. I have told her 10 times to wrap her used pad in a piece of old newspaper and to put it in polyethylene / cloth ...
4
votes
1answer
610 views

What to do about my future wife's 8-year-old son who does what he wants with no regard for anyone else?

I have a son and getting married with the mother of three children in a few weeks. She has an 8-year-old son, whom this question is about, and an older son and a younger daughter. All is well with ...
10
votes
3answers
4k views

How do I introduce my sons biological father to my 4 year old when my fiancé has taken that role and is called daddy?

My sons biological father and I have been separated since my child's birth. He wasn't on the birth certificate and hasn't seen him. My fiancé has been in my sons life since he was 3 yrs old and has ...
4
votes
3answers
557 views

Ten year old is lying and seems to believe her own lies

My ten-year-old stepdaughter has recently developed a habit of telling bold-faced lies to avoid getting in trouble/having to do something she does not want to. How do we respond to this? Some ...
10
votes
2answers
2k views

What to do when a 12-year-old boy has defeated behavior management program (Kazdin method)?

I am in a six year relationship with a woman who has two kids, a 15-year-old girl and a 12-year-old boy. We have moved a lot. The child's father has been incarcerated for most of the child's life. ...
6
votes
1answer
546 views

How do I discipline my spouse's children?

My spouse and I have kids from previous marriages. He has two boys ages 3 and 6, and I have an 8-year-old boy and we just recently had a daughter together. I'm struggling very hard with his two boys, ...
1
vote
2answers
340 views

What to do about step children who don't listen to us, don't do their chores but are being spoiled by their grand mother?

My husband has two lovely boys, age 8 and 9. Boys are staying over in in-laws' house to finish their school. Boys are coming over for weekends and I take them to school on Mondays. We are having ...
1
vote
4answers
620 views

Am I being too hard on my 7-year-old child?

I never thought I would have children. I suddenly walked into a beautiful little 7-year-old's life, with the commitment of becoming the best mother I can be to her. But sometimes, I question whether ...
-1
votes
4answers
453 views

6 year old doesn't know my husband is not her father

I have a 6 years old daughter that is not the daughter of my husband. My daughter doesn't know. Nobody else knows except my husband. I want to tell my daughter some day that my husband is not her ...
9
votes
5answers
2k views

Should I babysit my step granddaughter?

I have been married for over 20 years and have been a stepparent for all of these years since my stepdaughter was just 3 years old. My husband's ex-wife despises my husband and myself and has always ...
6
votes
2answers
595 views

How do I tell my 9-year-old son that my now ex husband is not his biological dad?

I'm in a situation where I became pregnant with the wrong person and decided to raise my child by myself. Since before his 3rd birthday the biological dad disappeared and hasn't had anything to do ...
6
votes
2answers
908 views

My son calls my father in law Grandpa “nonno” (in italian) and his wife (step grandma) is telling my son to call him just Grandpa now not nonno

My son has always called his grandma (my mother-in-law) the Italian word for grandma, "nonna" and his grandpa "nonno", the Italian word for grandpa. Recently my son called his grandpa "nonno" in front ...
-2
votes
3answers
1k views

How to handle my spoiled 20-year-old step-granddaughter and her enabling mother?

My 20-year-old step-granddaughter's father left when she was nine and my husband and I have been there for both of them before, during and after all of their crises, so perhaps I feel more like we are ...
5
votes
1answer
707 views

Handling husband’s 15-year-old daughter with Reactive Attachment Disorder

Two years ago, I met my husband. We are both in our 30s. He’s been married before. I have not been. He has a teen daughter from a relationship he had in college. The mother of the girl abandoned the ...
3
votes
1answer
1k views

How to deal with 5 year old stepson's view on me?

I'm glad I found this forum. Maybe you can help me! I'm 31 years old and have for the past 12 months been living with my girlfriend and her five year old son. I have known them for nearly three years....
2
votes
2answers
650 views

My 11 year old step daughter is making troubling comments about my newborn twin daughters, her half sisters

My husband and I have been married for 5 years. It was my first marriage and I did not have any children. He was married before and has three children with his ex-wife. We had tried for 4 years to get ...
4
votes
3answers
758 views

How can I help children in a blended family get along?

My two teenage daughters get along really well. My new husband has four children. My daughters have been the ones to suffer, as we have moved school and house. They get along well with their step-...
5
votes
3answers
32k views

Our 6 years old son doesn't follow instructions very well, bad listening skills, I need help

My step son is 6 years old, he is a very good boy but he isn't doing good when it comes to following directions. He gives up so easy and beat himself up for things that he fails at. For example in his ...
10
votes
2answers
4k views

My 5 year old step son has started crying about everything and wanting to go to moms

Alright, a brief background. My step son is 5 years old, starting kindergarten in the fall. His parents divorced about two years ago, they share 50/50 custody. His mother gets him Thursday evening -...
4
votes
2answers
332 views

Impact of moving to Germany with a stepson and a toddler with signs of autism

I live in the midwestern U.S. with my wife, my 8 year old stepson and our 2 year old son who shows signs of and is undergoing therapy for autism. The company I work for just offered to relocate us to ...
0
votes
1answer
341 views

What should our kids call grandpa's new wife? [duplicate]

Kids are 17 and 12. Mom/grandma passed away a few year ago, and grandpa immediately married his new wife. There is a long story there. Dad/grandpa wants us to treat her as if she were grandma, but ...
19
votes
3answers
12k views

Teenage daughter and stepfather

I have a 16-year-old who has no respect for her stepfather. They hardly communicate and each time he says something she snaps or makes a stroppy or contradictory comment. He sometimes loses his temper ...
5
votes
2answers
480 views

Step parent, but just the guy who is married to mom

I have been with my wife for 6 years. Her kids all had children of their own while we were married. They are still little with the oldest being 9 and the youngest 3 months, then 3 & 4. The ...
1
vote
5answers
4k views

Is my 14 year step daughter a bad influence on my children?

My husband's daughter has come to stay with us for a month. I have tried playing and talking with her, but she isn't interested. She also back answers me. She doesn't even look at my twin babies which ...
56
votes
12answers
20k views

My husband, who is my teen daughter's step father feels bad that he can't have a closer relationship with my daughter

Four years ago, I divorced my ex after 26 years of marriage. He was extremely manipulative and abusive. He kept track of every mile I put on our vehicles and had to explain if I was ten minutes ...
135
votes
10answers
46k views

My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter

My girlfriend's 14 year old daughter came out to me as a girl on a bike ride when her mother wasn't there. I fully accept her and gladly refer to her by her chosen name ('Emily' for the purposes of ...
14
votes
5answers
1k views

How do I handle when my step kids parent buys them everything they want?

My fiancee and her two daughters (8 years old and 4 years old) live with me and my two sons (7 years old and 10 years old). Six people is quite a houseful :) The girls' father sees them once a week ...