Skip to main content

Questions tagged [step-parents]

Questions regarding the relationship dynamics between a step-parent and a child.

Filter by
Sorted by
Tagged with
11 votes
6 answers
53k views

How to stop a (seven-year-old) child from constantly making silly, nonsensical noises and actions?

I am step father to a seven-year-old boy (let's call him H). H's father is very much involved in his life. He sees him every night for a couple of hours and they (Mother and Father) alternate weekends....
12 votes
5 answers
10k views

How should an infant refer to its biological father and step father?

Ex-Wife and I separated when our only child was two. She quickly found another partner and they are now living together as married. I still have regular visits and sleepovers with infant. ...
0 votes
0 answers
63 views

My parents are going to split up because of me how do i stop this? [duplicate]

I know I'm not a parent or anything bit I dont know where else would be a good place to ask this I'm a younger than 16 girl (dont want to share my real age) and my parents are going through some ...
4 votes
2 answers
761 views

Should i be taking care of my siblings all the time?

I am 13 years old and my dad tells me to take care of my siblings all the time. He makes me watch them, make their food, play with them every time, dress them up and even makes me go check on them ...
2 votes
1 answer
794 views

My 11 year old is becoming selfish and emotional - typical preteen behaviour... but it is a bit more

So I have read this post, and it is a great starting point, but there is a bit extra that thickens the plot, and some merging conflicts that we need to deal with in order to hopefully adress this ...
1 vote
1 answer
358 views

How to let the new 13 year old sibling of my honorary niece/nephew know I'm willing to be an 'uncle' for them too?

I'm an honorary uncle (amongst other things, see below) to my friend's two children. I visit them once a month and spend the day with the two of them and they seem to really enjoy these visits. My ...
11 votes
7 answers
9k views

I don't know if my step-son hates me, is scared of me, or likes me?

My partner and kids have had issues in the past with previous partners/father figures, being abusive, selfish etc., which has left a mental scar on the 3 of them. I have not pried into it yet, as they ...
3 votes
3 answers
361 views

what do i do if he says i'm harder on her because she isn't my biological daughter

My boyfriend of 2 and a half years loves my daughter and my daughter loves and looks up to him as a father figure, but he said that “i'm harder on her because she isn't my biological daughter” and ...
6 votes
2 answers
1k views

How do I tell my 9-year-old son that my now ex husband is not his biological dad?

I'm in a situation where I became pregnant with the wrong person and decided to raise my child by myself. Since before his 3rd birthday the biological dad disappeared and hasn't had anything to do ...
12 votes
4 answers
4k views

My sons biological dad moved 6 hours away and wants to split commute times

My wife has a son from a previous relationship. He's lived with me since he was 1. His biological father has always lived about an hour from us. We have always split driving responsibilities for any ...
7 votes
2 answers
755 views

How to teach my 22 year old stepson to communicate instead of burning inside?

I became stepdad to an adult boy (22) (I am not the biological dad). He didn't have anyone to teach him or a father-like figure since his dad passed away when he was 7. He never went to college or ...
3 votes
4 answers
349 views

Giving teenage sons driving lessons when their step-mother isn't comfortable with it

Here in New Zealand, the driver licensing system has three stages: Learner, Restricted, Full. Both of my teenage sons (16yo and 18yo, autistic) have their Learner licenses, and are ready to go to ...
2 votes
1 answer
151 views

Meeting his other children [closed]

I have been stable with my boyfriend for 4 years now, we have a 2 year old baby girl. He has 2 other children from his previous relationship (6 and 8 year old) I’ve asked him to meet the girls a few ...
4 votes
2 answers
416 views

How do i tell my daughter her dad isnt really her dad?

This is weighing so heavy right now. I had my daughter with my ex when I was 20. She is 8 now. To make things simple, my ex husband and I married at a young age and our relationship was rocky. ...
3 votes
4 answers
10k views

What is the appropriate age to tell my daughter that her biological father doesn't want to be a part of her life?

I had a beautiful daughter with my very first boyfriend at the age of 16. He was 18 at the time and he was very careless about the whole situation. He was a high school dropout, selling and using ...
4 votes
2 answers
522 views

Looking for options to deal with 18-yo who refuses to grow up [closed]

My stepdaughter has recently turned 18. She has severe behavioral problems: she urinates in her bedroom, often in her clothes; she starts fires with a lighter; and she refuses to do anything other ...
15 votes
7 answers
7k views

I love my step son so much but it irritates me when he compares me to his dad

My step-son keeps comparing me to his biological father, and I don't know why. I've been in a relationship with this woman for almost 3 years. She has been married previously and has a 6 year old son....
1 vote
1 answer
189 views

A stepchild learned I am not their biological parent. How to navigate the relationship? [closed]

When I met my wife initially I did not know that she had a child. Over time, I learned of this news and asked her to marry me after 3 years of dating. My wife made the decision to tell him that I was ...
6 votes
6 answers
5k views

7yo step-son runs away when he thinks he's in trouble

The child in this case is 7 years old. Just as an example; maybe he breaks his own toy, clearly by accident, but right after I asked him not to do whatever caused the breaking. I would like to calmly ...
3 votes
2 answers
591 views

What should one year old call his step-dad/ bio-dad?

Background: I was in my last relationship for 10 years, and the last 6 he was abusive to me and a drug addict/alcoholic. I was finally able to leave him and moved away, but he found me, and after “...
2 votes
4 answers
2k views

I'm a step father, I don't have any children of my own, how do I deal with a teen boy that acts extremely feminine?

I have been with my fiancee for a little over 4 years. I met her son when he was ten and he is now 14. In the beginning I felt in my personal opinion that he was a little bit of a "Momma's boy" but I ...
3 votes
0 answers
201 views

How to get husband to clean his daughter's room? [closed]

my husband's 17 yr old daughter (who is not my daughter nor have I raised her--we have been together 4 yrs) has very crippling mental health issues. One of her issues is compulsive hoarding and ...
1 vote
1 answer
3k views

Telling a child you’re not their biological parent

History : my partner has a child with his ex , which is not his biological child but he knew this before birth (as she was already pregnant) . The relationship didn't last long but he stuck by the ...
0 votes
2 answers
2k views

What causes a 7 year old to be overly affectionate

My 7 year old daughter has very recently become very affectionate with her soon to be step dad. What could cause this? She doesn't see her dad often, but calls him daily. Could it be as simple as she ...
5 votes
2 answers
605 views

Topics for kids for moving in with girlfriend and kids [closed]

I'm somewhat of a shy guy, more precisely though I just don't know what to talk about. My problem is that I've moved in with my girlfriend, and she has two kids, a girl aged 12 and a boy aged 14, and ...
4 votes
2 answers
1k views

What to do about my constantly crying 4-year-old step-daughter?

I have a just turned 4-year-old step daughter whose life I have been in for almost two years. In July, we went on vacation (myself, my 16-year-old son, one of his friends, my 12-year-old daughter, one ...
11 votes
2 answers
1k views

How should we support 16 year old step sister who ran away from home

We're in Canada, if that's relevant. My partner and I live by ourselves (late 20's), and my partner's 16 year old step-sister has recently fled an emotionally abusive home life (no physical abuse so ...
12 votes
1 answer
1k views

How to explain the "fun parent" phenomenon to a 5-year-old?

I'm a step-dad to 3 girls under 6. The eldest is still fairly enamored by bio-dad and while I won't go into the details; he's a man-child. The 3-year-old just follows the eldest at present, but I'm ...
6 votes
2 answers
654 views

How to improve the relationship between my misbehaving 8-year-old stepchild and me?

I've been with my other half for nearly 4 years and have been known to his now 8-year-old daughterfor a little longer than that. She has been aware of our relationship for around 3.5 years. When we ...
13 votes
20 answers
71k views

What should children call a step-grandparent?

My mom remarried to a great guy who has been absolutely wonderful to my kids. Ever since my mom and he were dating my kids have called him Mr. Joe. Lately my mom has been bugging me to get the kids to ...
8 votes
5 answers
3k views

How to be a step-mom to a troubled (or hurt) 5-year-old?

A Bit About Myself I am in my late 20's, and I am a fairly-new-mom. I have been married to my daughter's father for about a year now, but I have been around kids my entire life. I have always had ...
3 votes
1 answer
352 views

16-year old step daugher is mentally ill and aggressive to me - how much should I be involved?

My spouse’s 16 year old daughter is mentally ill. She has been diagnosed with Reactive attachment disorder (RAD) and is in treatment. Of late, her behavior has worsened to the point where she responds ...
30 votes
9 answers
86k views

How and when should I tell my son that his amazing father isn't his biological father?

My son is going on 5 and starting to learn a lot about how we're created. I've been with my husband for 10 years, but nearly 6 years ago I had no other choice but to move 1000 miles away and after ...
0 votes
1 answer
6k views

How to tell my teenage stepdaughter to not leave her sanitary pad open in her room?

I have a 14-year-old stepdaughter and 11-month-old twins. I am on the verge of collapse. I have told her 10 times to wrap her used pad in a piece of old newspaper and to put it in polyethylene / cloth ...
4 votes
1 answer
755 views

What to do about my future wife's 8-year-old son who does what he wants with no regard for anyone else?

I have a son and getting married with the mother of three children in a few weeks. She has an 8-year-old son, whom this question is about, and an older son and a younger daughter. All is well with ...
10 votes
3 answers
6k views

How do I introduce my sons biological father to my 4 year old when my fiancé has taken that role and is called daddy?

My sons biological father and I have been separated since my child's birth. He wasn't on the birth certificate and hasn't seen him. My fiancé has been in my sons life since he was 3 yrs old and has ...
4 votes
3 answers
1k views

Ten year old is lying and seems to believe her own lies

My ten-year-old stepdaughter has recently developed a habit of telling bold-faced lies to avoid getting in trouble/having to do something she does not want to. How do we respond to this? Some ...
10 votes
2 answers
3k views

What to do when a 12-year-old boy has defeated behavior management program (Kazdin method)?

I am in a six year relationship with a woman who has two kids, a 15-year-old girl and a 12-year-old boy. We have moved a lot. The child's father has been incarcerated for most of the child's life. ...
6 votes
1 answer
629 views

How do I discipline my spouse's children?

My spouse and I have kids from previous marriages. He has two boys ages 3 and 6, and I have an 8-year-old boy and we just recently had a daughter together. I'm struggling very hard with his two boys, ...
1 vote
2 answers
394 views

What to do about step children who don't listen to us, don't do their chores but are being spoiled by their grand mother?

My husband has two lovely boys, age 8 and 9. Boys are staying over in in-laws' house to finish their school. Boys are coming over for weekends and I take them to school on Mondays. We are having ...
1 vote
4 answers
1k views

Am I being too hard on my 7-year-old child?

I never thought I would have children. I suddenly walked into a beautiful little 7-year-old's life, with the commitment of becoming the best mother I can be to her. But sometimes, I question whether ...
-1 votes
4 answers
527 views

6 year old doesn't know my husband is not her father

I have a 6 years old daughter that is not the daughter of my husband. My daughter doesn't know. Nobody else knows except my husband. I want to tell my daughter some day that my husband is not her ...
9 votes
5 answers
3k views

Should I babysit my step granddaughter?

I have been married for over 20 years and have been a stepparent for all of these years since my stepdaughter was just 3 years old. My husband's ex-wife despises my husband and myself and has always ...
6 votes
2 answers
1k views

My son calls my father in law Grandpa "nonno" (in italian) and his wife (step grandma) is telling my son to call him just Grandpa now not nonno

My son has always called his grandma (my mother-in-law) the Italian word for grandma, "nonna" and his grandpa "nonno", the Italian word for grandpa. Recently my son called his grandpa "nonno" in front ...
-2 votes
3 answers
1k views

How to handle my spoiled 20-year-old step-granddaughter and her enabling mother?

My 20-year-old step-granddaughter's father left when she was nine and my husband and I have been there for both of them before, during and after all of their crises, so perhaps I feel more like we are ...
5 votes
1 answer
1k views

Handling husband’s 15-year-old daughter with Reactive Attachment Disorder

Two years ago, I met my husband. We are both in our 30s. He’s been married before. I have not been. He has a teen daughter from a relationship he had in college. The mother of the girl abandoned the ...
3 votes
1 answer
2k views

How to deal with 5 year old stepson's view on me?

I'm glad I found this forum. Maybe you can help me! I'm 31 years old and have for the past 12 months been living with my girlfriend and her five year old son. I have known them for nearly three years....
2 votes
2 answers
1k views

My 11 year old step daughter is making troubling comments about my newborn twin daughters, her half sisters

My husband and I have been married for 5 years. It was my first marriage and I did not have any children. He was married before and has three children with his ex-wife. We had tried for 4 years to get ...
4 votes
3 answers
1k views

How can I help children in a blended family get along?

My two teenage daughters get along really well. My new husband has four children. My daughters have been the ones to suffer, as we have moved school and house. They get along well with their step-...
5 votes
3 answers
35k views

Our 6 years old son doesn't follow instructions very well, bad listening skills, I need help

My step son is 6 years old, he is a very good boy but he isn't doing good when it comes to following directions. He gives up so easy and beat himself up for things that he fails at. For example in his ...