Questions tagged [step-parents]

Questions regarding the relationship dynamics between a step-parent and a child.

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2
votes
1answer
131 views

Meeting his other children [closed]

I have been stable with my boyfriend for 4 years now, we have a 2 year old baby girl. He has 2 other children from his previous relationship (6 and 8 year old) I’ve asked him to meet the girls a few ...
4
votes
2answers
324 views

How do i tell my daughter her dad isnt really her dad?

This is weighing so heavy right now. I had my daughter with my ex when I was 20. She is 8 now. To make things simple, my ex husband and I married at a young age and our relationship was rocky. ...
6
votes
1answer
452 views

How to teach my 22 year old stepson to communicate instead of burning inside?

I became stepdad to an adult boy (22) (I am not the biological dad). He didn't have anyone to teach him or a father-like figure since his dad passed away when he was 7. He never went to college or ...
4
votes
2answers
412 views

Looking for options to deal with 18-yo who refuses to grow up [closed]

My stepdaughter has recently turned 18. She has severe behavioral problems: she urinates in her bedroom, often in her clothes; she starts fires with a lighter; and she refuses to do anything other ...
1
vote
1answer
173 views

A stepchild learned I am not their biological parent. How to navigate the relationship? [closed]

When I met my wife initially I did not know that she had a child. Over time, I learned of this news and asked her to marry me after 3 years of dating. My wife made the decision to tell him that I was ...
3
votes
2answers
254 views

What should one year old call his step-dad/ bio-dad?

Background: I was in my last relationship for 10 years, and the last 6 he was abusive to me and a drug addict/alcoholic. I was finally able to leave him and moved away, but he found me, and after “...
2
votes
4answers
895 views

I'm a step father, I don't have any children of my own, how do I deal with a teen boy that acts extremely feminine?

I have been with my fiancee for a little over 4 years. I met her son when he was ten and he is now 14. In the beginning I felt in my personal opinion that he was a little bit of a "Momma's boy" but I ...
3
votes
0answers
192 views

How to get husband to clean his daughter's room? [closed]

my husband's 17 yr old daughter (who is not my daughter nor have I raised her--we have been together 4 yrs) has very crippling mental health issues. One of her issues is compulsive hoarding and ...
1
vote
1answer
1k views

Telling a child you’re not their biological parent

History : my partner has a child with his ex , which is not his biological child but he knew this before birth (as she was already pregnant) . The relationship didn't last long but he stuck by the ...
3
votes
1answer
295 views

16-year old step daugher is mentally ill and aggressive to me - how much should I be involved?

My spouse’s 16 year old daughter is mentally ill. She has been diagnosed with Reactive attachment disorder (RAD) and is in treatment. Of late, her behavior has worsened to the point where she responds ...
0
votes
2answers
1k views

What causes a 7 year old to be overly affectionate

My 7 year old daughter has very recently become very affectionate with her soon to be step dad. What could cause this? She doesn't see her dad often, but calls him daily. Could it be as simple as she ...
4
votes
3answers
607 views

Ten year old is lying and seems to believe her own lies

My ten-year-old stepdaughter has recently developed a habit of telling bold-faced lies to avoid getting in trouble/having to do something she does not want to. How do we respond to this? Some ...
1
vote
4answers
708 views

Am I being too hard on my 7-year-old child?

I never thought I would have children. I suddenly walked into a beautiful little 7-year-old's life, with the commitment of becoming the best mother I can be to her. But sometimes, I question whether ...
-1
votes
4answers
460 views

6 year old doesn't know my husband is not her father

I have a 6 years old daughter that is not the daughter of my husband. My daughter doesn't know. Nobody else knows except my husband. I want to tell my daughter some day that my husband is not her ...
6
votes
2answers
635 views

How do I tell my 9-year-old son that my now ex husband is not his biological dad?

I'm in a situation where I became pregnant with the wrong person and decided to raise my child by myself. Since before his 3rd birthday the biological dad disappeared and hasn't had anything to do ...
5
votes
1answer
766 views

Handling husband’s 15-year-old daughter with Reactive Attachment Disorder

Two years ago, I met my husband. We are both in our 30s. He’s been married before. I have not been. He has a teen daughter from a relationship he had in college. The mother of the girl abandoned the ...
2
votes
2answers
706 views

My 11 year old step daughter is making troubling comments about my newborn twin daughters, her half sisters

My husband and I have been married for 5 years. It was my first marriage and I did not have any children. He was married before and has three children with his ex-wife. We had tried for 4 years to get ...
4
votes
1answer
625 views

What to do about my future wife's 8-year-old son who does what he wants with no regard for anyone else?

I have a son and getting married with the mother of three children in a few weeks. She has an 8-year-old son, whom this question is about, and an older son and a younger daughter. All is well with ...
4
votes
2answers
342 views

Impact of moving to Germany with a stepson and a toddler with signs of autism

I live in the midwestern U.S. with my wife, my 8 year old stepson and our 2 year old son who shows signs of and is undergoing therapy for autism. The company I work for just offered to relocate us to ...
6
votes
2answers
959 views

My son calls my father in law Grandpa "nonno" (in italian) and his wife (step grandma) is telling my son to call him just Grandpa now not nonno

My son has always called his grandma (my mother-in-law) the Italian word for grandma, "nonna" and his grandpa "nonno", the Italian word for grandpa. Recently my son called his grandpa "nonno" in front ...
0
votes
1answer
380 views

What should our kids call grandpa's new wife? [duplicate]

Kids are 17 and 12. Mom/grandma passed away a few year ago, and grandpa immediately married his new wife. There is a long story there. Dad/grandpa wants us to treat her as if she were grandma, but ...
3
votes
1answer
2k views

How to deal with 5 year old stepson's view on me?

I'm glad I found this forum. Maybe you can help me! I'm 31 years old and have for the past 12 months been living with my girlfriend and her five year old son. I have known them for nearly three years....
10
votes
3answers
4k views

How do I introduce my sons biological father to my 4 year old when my fiancé has taken that role and is called daddy?

My sons biological father and I have been separated since my child's birth. He wasn't on the birth certificate and hasn't seen him. My fiancé has been in my sons life since he was 3 yrs old and has ...
3
votes
4answers
8k views

What is the appropriate age to tell my daughter that her biological father doesn't want to be a part of her life?

I had a beautiful daughter with my very first boyfriend at the age of 16. He was 18 at the time and he was very careless about the whole situation. He was a high school dropout, selling and using ...
5
votes
2answers
485 views

Step parent, but just the guy who is married to mom

I have been with my wife for 6 years. Her kids all had children of their own while we were married. They are still little with the oldest being 9 and the youngest 3 months, then 3 & 4. The ...
56
votes
12answers
20k views

My husband, who is my teen daughter's step father feels bad that he can't have a closer relationship with my daughter

Four years ago, I divorced my ex after 26 years of marriage. He was extremely manipulative and abusive. He kept track of every mile I put on our vehicles and had to explain if I was ten minutes ...
11
votes
2answers
1k views

How should we support 16 year old step sister who ran away from home

We're in Canada, if that's relevant. My partner and I live by ourselves (late 20's), and my partner's 16 year old step-sister has recently fled an emotionally abusive home life (no physical abuse so ...
5
votes
2answers
589 views

Topics for kids for moving in with girlfriend and kids [closed]

I'm somewhat of a shy guy, more precisely though I just don't know what to talk about. My problem is that I've moved in with my girlfriend, and she has two kids, a girl aged 12 and a boy aged 14, and ...
9
votes
5answers
2k views

Should I babysit my step granddaughter?

I have been married for over 20 years and have been a stepparent for all of these years since my stepdaughter was just 3 years old. My husband's ex-wife despises my husband and myself and has always ...
10
votes
5answers
37k views

How to stop a (seven-year-old) child from constantly making silly, nonsensical noises and actions?

I am step father to a seven-year-old boy (let's call him H). H's father is very much involved in his life. He sees him every night for a couple of hours and they (Mother and Father) alternate weekends....
134
votes
10answers
47k views

My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter

My girlfriend's 14 year old daughter came out to me as a girl on a bike ride when her mother wasn't there. I fully accept her and gladly refer to her by her chosen name ('Emily' for the purposes of ...
4
votes
2answers
2k views

My step son cries every time he is dropped off

My partner has a 5yo who was 2 when we got together. In this time he has cried uncontrollably every single time he is dropped off or picked up from our house. These tears usually subside if he is ...
6
votes
2answers
519 views

How to improve the relationship between my misbehaving 8-year-old stepchild and me?

I've been with my other half for nearly 4 years and have been known to his now 8-year-old daughterfor a little longer than that. She has been aware of our relationship for around 3.5 years. When we ...
5
votes
2answers
795 views

What advice can I give to a teen who wants to tell his dad uncomfortable truths?

My girlfriend's Teenage Boy (TB), 14, wants to talk to his dad about things he doesn't like about him, like smoking in the living room. He came to me for advice. Knowing his dad, who is a very ...
4
votes
3answers
767 views

How can I help children in a blended family get along?

My two teenage daughters get along really well. My new husband has four children. My daughters have been the ones to suffer, as we have moved school and house. They get along well with their step-...
14
votes
4answers
2k views

When is the right time to tell my daughter she's not my biological child?

To try to keep the story short... I got divorced almost 4 yrs ago and I have a 11, 12 & 15 yr old. Now I had my suspicions, but I guess I wanted to look the other way and not find out whether it ...
1
vote
2answers
346 views

What to do about step children who don't listen to us, don't do their chores but are being spoiled by their grand mother?

My husband has two lovely boys, age 8 and 9. Boys are staying over in in-laws' house to finish their school. Boys are coming over for weekends and I take them to school on Mondays. We are having ...
10
votes
2answers
2k views

What to do when a 12-year-old boy has defeated behavior management program (Kazdin method)?

I am in a six year relationship with a woman who has two kids, a 15-year-old girl and a 12-year-old boy. We have moved a lot. The child's father has been incarcerated for most of the child's life. ...
6
votes
2answers
641 views

Want to be Fair / Equal but Still Realistic with Bedwetting Pre-Teens and Social Issues

I have two step-kids. Boy age 11, girl age 10. They both have bladder issues where they still wet their beds almost every night. The boy is a fairly gregarious outgoing personality who doesn't really ...
12
votes
2answers
2k views

8-year-old stepchild pulling away from his father

I'm the stepfather of an 8-year-old child. He spends every other weekend at his biological father. Ever since they moved in with me, he's been increasingly reluctant to spend weekends at his father. ...
11
votes
2answers
1k views

As a step parent, what should be my role in dealing with a volatile five year old?

About a year and a half ago I met a woman who was going to school full-time and raising a 5 year old little girl. I really just fell in love with both of them and we all bonded relatively quickly. We ...
4
votes
2answers
990 views

What to do about my constantly crying 4-year-old step-daughter?

I have a just turned 4-year-old step daughter whose life I have been in for almost two years. In July, we went on vacation (myself, my 16-year-old son, one of his friends, my 12-year-old daughter, one ...
6
votes
4answers
906 views

Should I be expected to love my new step-granddaughter instantly?

My son has been living with his girlfriend for 4 years. He has an 11-year-old daughter and his girlfriend also has an 11-year-old daughter. They live in another state and do not come to see me. My ...
12
votes
1answer
1k views

How to explain the "fun parent" phenomenon to a 5-year-old?

I'm a step-dad to 3 girls under 6. The eldest is still fairly enamored by bio-dad and while I won't go into the details; he's a man-child. The 3-year-old just follows the eldest at present, but I'm ...
6
votes
1answer
569 views

How do I discipline my spouse's children?

My spouse and I have kids from previous marriages. He has two boys ages 3 and 6, and I have an 8-year-old boy and we just recently had a daughter together. I'm struggling very hard with his two boys, ...
10
votes
2answers
5k views

My 5 year old step son has started crying about everything and wanting to go to moms

Alright, a brief background. My step son is 5 years old, starting kindergarten in the fall. His parents divorced about two years ago, they share 50/50 custody. His mother gets him Thursday evening -...
-2
votes
3answers
1k views

How to handle my spoiled 20-year-old step-granddaughter and her enabling mother?

My 20-year-old step-granddaughter's father left when she was nine and my husband and I have been there for both of them before, during and after all of their crises, so perhaps I feel more like we are ...
4
votes
2answers
864 views

Step Parent - To be concerned or not to be

Brief history: Became involved with a young woman, knowing she had a 5 year old daughter. Biological dad was in the picture til daughter was 2-3, and then left the state. Strangled mother while ...
6
votes
2answers
504 views

Names or Phrases to Use for Step-Mom?

We were taking a great family vacation and on the way back, a stranger asked my 6-year old daughter if my girlfriend was her mom. She said "no, this is Ema, who lives with us." Both of them ended up ...
1
vote
2answers
380 views

I want more time with my wife in our blended family, but she says no. [closed]

My wife and I have been married for about 8 months. We both have two children, each. I moved into her house with her kids. I have my kids twice a week and every other weekend. I told my wife I ...