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Questions tagged [step-parents]

Questions regarding the relationship dynamics between a step-parent and a child.

0
votes
4answers
311 views

6 year old doesn't know my husband is not her father

I have a 6 years old daughter that is not the daughter of my husband. My daughter doesn't know. Nobody else knows except my husband. I want to tell my daughter some day that my husband is not her ...
5
votes
2answers
391 views

How do I tell my 9-year-old son that my now ex husband is not his biological dad?

I'm in a situation where I became pregnant with the wrong person and decided to raise my child by myself. Since before his 3rd birthday the biological dad disappeared and hasn't had anything to do ...
4
votes
1answer
422 views

Handling husband’s 15-year-old daughter with Reactive Attachment Disorder

Two years ago, I met my husband. We are both in our 30s. He’s been married before. I have not been. He has a teen daughter from a relationship he had in college. The mother of the girl abandoned the ...
2
votes
2answers
328 views

My 11 year old step daughter is making troubling comments about my newborn twin daughters, her half sisters

My husband and I have been married for 5 years. It was my first marriage and I did not have any children. He was married before and has three children with his ex-wife. We had tried for 4 years to get ...
4
votes
1answer
395 views

What to do about my future wife's 8-year-old son who does what he wants with no regard for anyone else?

I have a son and getting married with the mother of three children in a few weeks. She has an 8-year-old son, whom this question is about, and an older son and a younger daughter. All is well with ...
4
votes
2answers
275 views

Impact of moving to Germany with a stepson and a toddler with signs of autism

I live in the midwestern U.S. with my wife, my 8 year old stepson and our 2 year old son who shows signs of and is undergoing therapy for autism. The company I work for just offered to relocate us to ...
6
votes
2answers
517 views

My son calls my father in law Grandpa “nonno” (in italian) and his wife (step grandma) is telling my son to call him just Grandpa now not nonno

My son has always called his grandma (my mother-in-law) the Italian word for grandma, "nonna" and his grandpa "nonno", the Italian word for grandpa. Recently my son called his grandpa "nonno" in front ...
0
votes
1answer
141 views

What should our kids call grandpa's new wife? [duplicate]

Kids are 17 and 12. Mom/grandma passed away a few year ago, and grandpa immediately married his new wife. There is a long story there. Dad/grandpa wants us to treat her as if she were grandma, but ...
4
votes
1answer
632 views

How to deal with 5 year old stepson's view on me?

I'm glad I found this forum. Maybe you can help me! I'm 31 years old and have for the past 12 months been living with my girlfriend and her five year old son. I have known them for nearly three years....
9
votes
3answers
953 views

How do I introduce my sons biological father to my 4 year old when my fiancé has taken that role and is called daddy?

My sons biological father and I have been separated since my child's birth. He wasn't on the birth certificate and hasn't seen him. My fiancé has been in my sons life since he was 3 yrs old and has ...
3
votes
4answers
2k views

What is the appropriate age to tell my daughter that her biological father doesn't want to be a part of her life?

I had a beautiful daughter with my very first boyfriend at the age of 16. He was 18 at the time and he was very careless about the whole situation. He was a high school dropout, selling and using ...
6
votes
2answers
427 views

Step parent, but just the guy who is married to mom

I have been with my wife for 6 years. Her kids all had children of their own while we were married. They are still little with the oldest being 9 and the youngest 3 months, then 3 & 4. The ...
55
votes
12answers
19k views

My husband, who is my teen daughter's step father feels bad that he can't have a closer relationship with my daughter

Four years ago, I divorced my ex after 26 years of marriage. He was extremely manipulative and abusive. He kept track of every mile I put on our vehicles and had to explain if I was ten minutes ...
7
votes
3answers
841 views

How and when to tell my 5.year old son his “daddy” is gone?

I am a single mom again (as of a week ago) of a 5 (almost 6) y.o. who is in kindergarten. My son's biological dad were together 5 years but we lived apart by the time I got pregnant. He pushed us ...
9
votes
2answers
660 views

How should we support 16 year old step sister who ran away from home

We're in Canada, if that's relevant. My partner and I live by ourselves (late 20's), and my partner's 16 year old step-sister has recently fled an emotionally abusive home life (no physical abuse so ...
2
votes
0answers
1k views

I am a mother in the middle of a stubborn-step-father vs teen-step-daughter battle…& we're all losing [closed]

I was a single mother for 12 years before I met my husband. During those 12 years I wasn't strict on my daughter about cleaning anything aside from her room, never gave her chores over the years I ...
10
votes
5answers
1k views

Should I babysit my step granddaughter?

I have been married for over 20 years and have been a stepparent for all of these years since my stepdaughter was just 3 years old. My husband's ex-wife despises my husband and myself and has always ...
9
votes
3answers
7k views

How to stop a (seven-year-old) child from constantly making silly, nonsensical noises and actions?

I am step father to a seven-year-old boy (let's call him H). H's father is very much involved in his life. He sees him every night for a couple of hours and they (Mother and Father) alternate weekends....
132
votes
10answers
44k views

My girlfriend has mentioned disowning her 14 y/o transgender daughter

My girlfriend's 14 year old daughter came out to me as a girl on a bike ride when her mother wasn't there. I fully accept her and gladly refer to her by her chosen name ('Emily' for the purposes of ...
4
votes
2answers
555 views

My step son cries every time he is dropped off

My partner has a 5yo who was 2 when we got together. In this time he has cried uncontrollably every single time he is dropped off or picked up from our house. These tears usually subside if he is ...
4
votes
2answers
719 views

What advice can I give to a teen who wants to tell his dad uncomfortable truths?

My girlfriend's Teenage Boy (TB), 14, wants to talk to his dad about things he doesn't like about him, like smoking in the living room. He came to me for advice. Knowing his dad, who is a very ...
4
votes
3answers
430 views

How can I help children in a blended family get along?

My two teenage daughters get along really well. My new husband has four children. My daughters have been the ones to suffer, as we have moved school and house. They get along well with their step-...
13
votes
4answers
2k views

When is the right time to tell my daughter she's not my biological child?

To try to keep the story short... I got divorced almost 4 yrs ago and I have a 11, 12 & 15 yr old. Now I had my suspicions, but I guess I wanted to look the other way and not find out whether it ...
6
votes
2answers
452 views

Want to be Fair / Equal but Still Realistic with Bedwetting Pre-Teens and Social Issues

I have two step-kids. Boy age 11, girl age 10. They both have bladder issues where they still wet their beds almost every night. The boy is a fairly gregarious outgoing personality who doesn't really ...
11
votes
2answers
2k views

8-year-old stepchild pulling away from his father

I'm the stepfather of an 8-year-old child. He spends every other weekend at his biological father. Ever since they moved in with me, he's been increasingly reluctant to spend weekends at his father. ...
9
votes
2answers
700 views

As a step parent, what should be my role in dealing with a volatile five year old?

About a year and a half ago I met a woman who was going to school full-time and raising a 5 year old little girl. I really just fell in love with both of them and we all bonded relatively quickly. We ...
6
votes
4answers
739 views

Should I be expected to love my new step-granddaughter instantly?

My son has been living with his girlfriend for 4 years. He has an 11-year-old daughter and his girlfriend also has an 11-year-old daughter. They live in another state and do not come to see me. My ...
9
votes
1answer
681 views

Explaining the “fun parent” phenomena

I'm a step-dad to 3 girls under 6. The eldest is still fairly enamored by bio-dad and while I won't go into the details; he's a man-child. The 3 year old just follows the eldest at present, but I'm ...
4
votes
1answer
435 views

How do I discipline my spouses children?

My spouse and I have kids from previous marriages. He has two boys ages 3 and 6, and I have an 8 year old boy and we just recently had a daughter together. I'm struggling very hard with his two boys, ...
9
votes
2answers
3k views

My 5 year old step son has started crying about everything and wanting to go to moms

Alright, a brief background. My step son is 5 years old, starting kindergarten in the fall. His parents divorced about two years ago, they share 50/50 custody. His mother gets him Thursday evening -...
-2
votes
3answers
996 views

How to handle my spoiled 20-year-old step-granddaughter and her enabling mother?

My 20-year-old step-granddaughter's father left when she was nine and my husband and I have been there for both of them before, during and after all of their crises, so perhaps I feel more like we are ...
4
votes
2answers
661 views

Step Parent - To be concerned or not to be

Brief history: Became involved with a young woman, knowing she had a 5 year old daughter. Biological dad was in the picture til daughter was 2-3, and then left the state. Strangled mother while ...
5
votes
2answers
460 views

Names or Phrases to Use for Step-Mom?

We were taking a great family vacation and on the way back, a stranger asked my 6-year old daughter if my girlfriend was her mom. She said "no, this is Ema, who lives with us." Both of them ended up ...
1
vote
2answers
338 views

I want more time with my wife in our blended family, but she says no. [closed]

My wife and I have been married for about 8 months. We both have two children, each. I moved into her house with her kids. I have my kids twice a week and every other weekend. I told my wife I ...
6
votes
5answers
2k views

7yo step-son runs away when he thinks he's in trouble

The child in this case is 7 years old. Just as an example; maybe he breaks his own toy, clearly by accident, but right after I asked him not to do whatever caused the breaking. I would like to calmly ...
27
votes
9answers
41k views

How and when should I tell my son that his amazing father isn't his biological father?

My son is going on 5 and starting to learn a lot about how we're created. I've been with my husband for 10 years, but nearly 6 years ago I had no other choice but to move 1000 miles away and after ...
11
votes
3answers
1k views

My sons biological dad moved 6 hours away and wants to split commute times

My wife has a son from a previous relationship. He's lived with me since he was 1. His biological father has always lived about an hour from us. We have always split driving responsibilities for any ...
8
votes
1answer
510 views

Building a better relationship between half siblings for a more unified home?

My step son is 5. He's still struggling with the seperation of his parents. We have all been trying to reassure him in this home that he is loved. His father takes him for outings, sometimes, due to ...
8
votes
5answers
2k views

Being a Step-mom to a troubled (or hurt) 5 year old

A Bit About Myself I am in my late 20's, and I am a fairly-new-mom. I have been married to my daughter's father for about a year now, but I have been around kids my entire life. I have always had ...
6
votes
2answers
1k views

Challenges of being a step-father

Background: Almost 6 months ago I met a great woman and she has a son, who just recently turned 7. His biological father is out of the picture, and essentially has been for his whole life. I am 24 ...
28
votes
6answers
3k views

In Rural India; 14 yo daughter broke her friendship due to her feelings on homosexuality. What to do?

How do I help my daughter understand that being lesbian or gay is normal and as acceptable as being straight? I have a 14-year-old step-daughter who has come here 20 days back to visit us. We live in ...
0
votes
1answer
1k views

My step daughter shook my baby [closed]

My guests were at home and I was decorating pudding for them. So, I gave my 12 month twin girls to my 14 year step daughter to take care just for 10 minutes in her room. I heard the babies crying ...
1
vote
2answers
3k views

How to deal with my teenager step daughter's rebellious behavior?

My 14 yo step daughter loves troubling us. I initially thought taking her side and spending time with her may improve the situation. But I guess, I was wrong . She loves breaking rules. She talks ...
0
votes
1answer
3k views

How to tell my teenage stepdaughter to not leave her sanitary pad open in her room?

I have a 14-year-old stepdaughter and 11-month-old twins. I am on the verge of collapse. I have told her 10 times to wrap her used pad in a piece of old newspaper and to put it in polyethylene / cloth ...
2
votes
5answers
3k views

Is my 14 year step daughter a bad influence on my children?

My husband's daughter has come to stay with us for a month. I have tried playing and talking with her, but she isn't interested. She also back answers me. She doesn't even look at my twin babies which ...
10
votes
5answers
5k views

How should an infant refer to its biological father and step father?

Ex-Wife and I separated when our only child was two. She quickly found another partner and they are now living together as married. I still have regular visits and sleepovers with infant. ...
2
votes
1answer
751 views

Stepdaughter trouble

My 35 year old stepdaughter thinks she doesn't have to be accountable for anything. She asks her father for money to solve her problems and they are like a secret society. She asked him to mind her 12 ...
8
votes
1answer
580 views

When to adopt a stepchild?

I have heard of a few cases where a stepparent will adopt their spouse's child from a previous relationship. When is this appropriate, and what are the consequences? I know this can be a broad topic,...
5
votes
1answer
562 views

Trying to be the best stepdad I can be.

The relationship I am in is the first with someone that has a kid of her own (I have 2). Her son is 7 years old and I've been his life since he was 4. I noticed then that his mother let him talk to ...
15
votes
3answers
1k views

Too many variables at play — troubled “son”

So, here's the story. My ex-girlfriend, whom I have an 11 year old son with, had a son before ours with a man who has never seen his son past the age of one. He's now 16. He grew up a generally happy ...