Questions tagged [separation]

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7
votes
3answers
1k views

How and when to tell my 5-year-old son that his “daddy” is gone?

I am a single mom again (as of a week ago) of a 5- (almost 6-) year-old, who is in kindergarten. My son's biological dad and I were together 5 years but we lived apart by the time I got pregnant. He ...
1
vote
1answer
229 views

Will it affect bonding between me any my 5-month-old when she's unable to recognize me after I left her for 6 months?

I have a 5-month-old daughter. I left her for 6 months with my mom, my brother's family in India and they are really taking good care. She is playing and happy with them. Daily I will do video call ...
5
votes
3answers
1k views

Should I reach out to my 5-year-old's absent father?

My 5-year-old son is starting to ask questions and comment on the fact that he "doesn't have a dad". His biological father and I have not spoken in years, he last saw my son when he was 6/7 months old ...
9
votes
3answers
13k views

What to do about a 2-year-old who won't sleep without someone else in the room?

My 2-year-old son won't fall asleep without having someone in his room with him. He doesn't want to be touched or held. He just wants you to sit in the chair. And after he does go to sleep he wakes up ...
2
votes
3answers
284 views

Should I call my sad, almost 5-year-old on holidays with grandparents and his sister?

I have an almost 5-year-old son and an almost 3-year-old daughter. My children are on holidays with grandparents far away for a week. They had the same holidays last year and it went smoothly, but ...
2
votes
2answers
240 views

Is it okay to pause breastfeeding a 6-week-old for 24 hours?

My wife is breastfeeding our 6-week-old baby. She has to make a trip overseas for 24 hours and cannot bring the baby due to passport issues. The baby is used to drinking expressed milk from a bottle ...
15
votes
2answers
837 views

What are the options when the mother of a 7 year old is imprisoned?

What are the options for explaining a (divorced) mother's absence to a 7 year old? Should the child be told the truth? (Assume the crime is non-violent and financial. Also assume the child has had a ...
3
votes
3answers
1k views

Should I make contact with my son's dad after 3 years?

My 6 year old son's dad hasn't been in his life for over 3 years now. He is getting older now and asking questions about daddy. Me and his dad have had a volatile relationship, we were both young and ...
7
votes
3answers
515 views

How to help my 10-year-old daughter who is upset because her dad is not in her life?

The last time my 10-year-old daughter saw her dad she was 6. He would come and see her whenever he had time or when he wanted to show off to his friends that he is a dad. When I got married, he ...
8
votes
4answers
395 views

How to build a relationship with my 14-year-old son I was stopped from seeing and who now just looks for money from me?

My wife cheated on me right after our son was born and she decided to start a life with her lover. I tried to keep seeing and supporting my son, but she got pregnant a year after and asked me to stop ...
5
votes
4answers
322 views

Does separating necessarily cause damage?

Me and my (ex)girlfriend have a 3 years old child. He is an accidental child from a one night stand (where I was completely drunk and she was sober), but I didn't want to leave them alone, so I gave ...
10
votes
1answer
446 views

Should children of incarcerated parents be told the truth?

On Saturday mornings, I visit a nearby county jail. Most of the men I talk to are fathers. Some are serving short sentences and others are awaiting trials that will likely result in lengthy ...
7
votes
3answers
240 views

How to break our infant of the habit of crying when none of us is in the same room as he is?

My wife and I live alone (i.e. no other family members) and our 6-month-old infant is quite attached to both of us. When we have visitors, or we are over to other persons' houses, he is okay to play ...
2
votes
4answers
195 views

How to deal with a separated family as an adult child when my parents want me to spend more time with them?

I am a 23-year-old male, my father is working in Town B (for about 2 years now) and he tries to come home every weekend (Friday night - Sunday night), so it's just me and my mother at Town A during ...
9
votes
4answers
2k views

What do you do when your parents are physically hurting you?

My girl friend called me scared for her life to day after her parent(s) strangled her. She is 19 years old and cannot support her self on her own. Im not sure what she can do or anything I can do to ...
7
votes
2answers
216 views

Preparing and handling 1-month absence of father for 3.5 year-old

What is the best way to prepare a 3.5 year-old for a 1-month absence of his father? The child has a very good and intimate relationship to both mother and father. The closer the departure comes the ...
8
votes
5answers
2k views

How to be a step-mom to a troubled (or hurt) 5-year-old?

A Bit About Myself I am in my late 20's, and I am a fairly-new-mom. I have been married to my daughter's father for about a year now, but I have been around kids my entire life. I have always had ...
9
votes
1answer
11k views

At what age do children notice the absence of a parent?

This past weekend, my wife went on a retreat while I stayed home with our 1-year-old twins. Since they were sleeping when she left, there was no separation anxiety. The next morning, I changed them ...
9
votes
3answers
28k views

Is it okay to leave a 6-month-old with her grandparents to go on a week-long vacation?

Our baby is almost 6 months old, and we have a week-long vacation booked for 2 days from now. Suddenly, my mom got really scared because a friend told her that a baby left alone at this age (6-18 ...
4
votes
2answers
993 views

Should we leave our daughter at home with her uncle if she then cries?

My daughter is 4+ years old. We used to take her with us wherever we went until recently when we had a doctor's appointment around 10PM. We wanted her to stay home with her uncle because taking her ...
5
votes
4answers
586 views

My 6 year-old daughter gets separation anxiety due to my medical problems

Last year I was almost killed by a freak heart condition (that I now know is a genetic issue and I won't ever be out of the woods) and while we kept my daughters away while I was in ICU and having bad ...
0
votes
1answer
131 views

How to deal with an 18-month-old's separation anxiety when we leave the room? [closed]

we have an 18 month old kid and he has huge excitement of exploring everything he can get his hands on or play with anything. May it be food to eat or my laptop or mobile or TV remote. For the last 9 ...
31
votes
7answers
6k views

How to explain to a 9-year-old why a relative is not welcome

Very soon my mother's brother will be released from prison. He is a pedophile. He was caught, plead guilty, etc etc...he is not someone I'd want around any child, certainly not my own. My mother, ...
3
votes
3answers
772 views

My husband is likely the father of a child, but the child doesn't know. Is it too late with the child being 12 years old?

This happened before my husband and I were together! My husband was told 11 years ago that he fathered a little boy. The mother told him it was his then the very next day she told him she was just ...
8
votes
4answers
637 views

Explaining to children about one parent's silent treatment of the other

My wife is an emotionally abusive partner (a few details in this question). Our marriage is likely to end in the next few months, but though I have moved out we have both said that we will work on ...
-3
votes
3answers
7k views

How to treat an 18 year old girl who avoids being with family and likes being with friend?

I am asking this question on behalf of my friend, who has an 18 year old daughter. She has always been talking to me about her daughter, and whenever she talks about her, she cries. The girl used to ...
3
votes
2answers
258 views

Daughter's reluctance to come to my place during a quasi-separation - impact on social life

My wife and I are in a kind of quasi-separation situation. My wife is emotionally abusive, resorting to the silent treatment, gaslighting and projection regularly. She moved to a different city with ...
4
votes
3answers
320 views

During and after a separation - explaining to children who their “family” is

My wife and I are in a kind of quasi-separation that is likely to lead to divorce. She has been and is emotionally abusive (the silent treatment, projection and gaslighting being what she does most), ...
6
votes
2answers
336 views

What's the father's role in forming attachment?

I've read some material about the mother's role in forming good attachment in children under the age of one year. My question is - do you know about the role of fathers in forming attachment? Let's ...
3
votes
1answer
271 views

Ideas for getting my children to see my house more positively - in a quasi separation

I am in an unusual situation. I have two children, a daughter aged nine and a son aged four. I am in a long distance marriage with my wife and children in a city about six hours away, where I go ...
1
vote
1answer
215 views

How to handle a child who acts out trying to reunite separated parents

I separated from my spouse few years ago. Our youngest child has begun recently to act out (eg swearing or being mildly violent). After careful and tactful inquiry, he stated that he is doing so as it ...
2
votes
4answers
323 views

How can I, as a father, help develop my 5-year-old daughter's self-esteem?

I was was distant from her when she was a baby till 1.5 years old because of struggling through my own problems, and eventually separated from her mother for a year. And even though I have gotten ...
4
votes
4answers
2k views

Do I force my son to speak to his semi-absent parent?

My son's father and I were together until my son was 6.5. We broke up because I found out he had been abusing heroin and stealing thousands of dollars in cash and items from my mother, his friends, ...
13
votes
10answers
25k views

How can we prevent crying when a parent leaves for work?

Sometimes a parent (usually Dad) spends time with the 2- to 4-year old child before leaving for work. However, after leaving, sometimes, the child cries nonstop (1 to 2 hours). Everything you offer ...
2
votes
1answer
254 views

What if my parents get a divorce? [duplicate]

I’m a 14 year old girl, and I was wondering what I should do if my parents want a divorce? My parents (50 and 55) have been married for over 20 years. But I’ve noticed some things in the past year or ...
0
votes
1answer
161 views

Duplicate or single Christmas tree?

After having divorced from my wife, I am trying to maintain a sane relationship with her, and one of the things I have strived for is complementarity with our three kids. In other words, I try to ...
1
vote
0answers
129 views

Limited Access to My Child (Separated Parent UK/EU) [closed]

We married in May 2014 in London where we lived at that time. In November 2014 our son was born there. 18 months later (in April 2016) we split. My ex moved out within London initially. Then in June ...
8
votes
3answers
349 views

Couple separated 18 months ago (irremediably), sharing custody of two children. Good or bad idea to share weekend experience together with the kids?

My brother and his ex-wife separated a year and a half ago. They are both over it and would never get back together. They have a 12-year-old girl and a 10-year-old boy whose custody they've shared ...
3
votes
2answers
487 views

How would a child view a move based on materialism?

I am a husband who has been married for the last 9 years and have 3 daughters (7,3,1). Recently I told my wife that I want to move to another state because my new job lets me work remotely and the ...
9
votes
3answers
4k views

6yo son doesn't want to return to mother after scheduled contact

Me and my wife have separated and are going through a divorce, we have two boys, 6 and 2, currently I only get to see the eldest. He stays with me from Friday evening until Sunday evening. I usually ...
5
votes
5answers
680 views

Dad makes little effort to see his daughter - to what degree should I encourage contact?

I have a three year old with my ex. When we separated he moved back in with his mom ( he didn't have a job, bad credit, etc... I know, I was an idiot ). These issues were a big part of our separation. ...
5
votes
5answers
411 views

Intensive father son bonding suggestions needed

My son is very attached to me (his mother) and my husband has a hard time comforting him when he needs it, especially when it comes to sleep. My son is 15 months old. He wakes up at least twice a ...
4
votes
4answers
15k views

How long did it take your baby to like daycare?

My baby started daycare at 9 mos. It's been two weeks and she still cries when we drop off and pick up. How long did it take for your baby / toddler to like day care and at what age did they start?
6
votes
2answers
382 views

Is an 8 week trip abroad an appropriate time away for a 14 year old?

My 14 yo son is interested going on a summer missions trip to Mt. Kilamanjaro in Tanzania, Africa. His mother is pushing him to go, but has just sprung the idea on me. Everything looks fine about the ...
2
votes
2answers
291 views

Child's dad is asking to visit, but is using drugs and uncooperative

The father of my child and I were together 8 years and broke up 15 weeks ago. We broke up due to fighting about money and we hurt on money because he spent a great deal of it on pills, which I found ...
10
votes
5answers
6k views

How should an infant refer to its biological father and step father?

Ex-Wife and I separated when our only child was two. She quickly found another partner and they are now living together as married. I still have regular visits and sleepovers with infant. ...
7
votes
2answers
2k views

I fled my emotionally abusive husband, leaving my children. I returned but they don't want to know me

My husband and I married 18 years ago. He suffers from a particularly difficult personality disorder which has become more pronounced with time. We have five children, aged 8 - 17. As he became more ...
0
votes
2answers
956 views

Is it normal for a 9 year old to cry and throw a fit when his daddy leaves?

My 9 year old son cries and throws a fit when his dad leaves without him. It's not just when he leaves for work; it's everywhere. He sometimes questions his dad as to how long he will be gone, and ...
4
votes
2answers
2k views

My 2 and half year old niece does not trust anyone else besides her mom and dad

My niece is 2 and half years old and she does not mix with anyone else. I am happy that she is like that with strangers but when it comes to family she is still the same. Does not play with other ...
8
votes
2answers
1k views

How to explain your absence to 4 year old

My wife has taken our two boys, 9 month old and 4 year old, and is denying me all contact with them. I already haven't seen or spoken to them in 2 weeks except for a 2 minute phone call with my 4 year ...