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Questions tagged [separation]

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4
votes
3answers
286 views

During and after a separation - explaining to children who their “family” is

My wife and I are in a kind of quasi-separation that is likely to lead to divorce. She has been and is emotionally abusive (the silent treatment, projection and gaslighting being what she does most), ...
3
votes
2answers
215 views

Daughter's reluctance to come to my place during a quasi-separation - impact on social life

My wife and I are in a kind of quasi-separation situation. My wife is emotionally abusive, resorting to the silent treatment, gaslighting and projection regularly. She moved to a different city with ...
4
votes
1answer
249 views

Ideas for getting my children to see my house more positively - in a quasi separation

I am in an unusual situation. I have two children, a daughter aged nine and a son aged four. I am in a long distance marriage with my wife and children in a city about six hours away, where I go ...
1
vote
1answer
194 views

How to handle a child who acts out trying to reunite separated parents

I separated from my spouse few years ago. Our youngest child has begun recently to act out (eg swearing or being mildly violent). After careful and tactful inquiry, he stated that he is doing so as it ...
2
votes
1answer
225 views

What if my parents get a divorce? [duplicate]

I’m a 14 year old girl, and I was wondering what I should do if my parents want a divorce? My parents (50 and 55) have been married for over 20 years. But I’ve noticed some things in the past year or ...
7
votes
4answers
593 views

Explaining to children about one parent's silent treatment of the other

My wife is an emotionally abusive partner (a few details in this question). Our marriage is likely to end in the next few months, but though I have moved out we have both said that we will work on ...
0
votes
1answer
153 views

Duplicate or single Christmas tree?

After having divorced from my wife, I am trying to maintain a sane relationship with her, and one of the things I have strived for is complementarity with our three kids. In other words, I try to ...
1
vote
0answers
118 views

Limited Access to My Child (Separated Parent UK/EU) [closed]

We married in May 2014 in London where we lived at that time. In November 2014 our son was born there. 18 months later (in April 2016) we split. My ex moved out within London initially. Then in June ...
4
votes
2answers
469 views

How would a child view a move based on materialism?

I am a husband who has been married for the last 9 years and have 3 daughters (7,3,1). Recently I told my wife that I want to move to another state because my new job lets me work remotely and the ...
54
votes
12answers
24k views

My one year old and her mother are moving in with a man I've never met

About 8 months ago, I and the mother of my child (a one-year-old) separated. Everything was mutual and amicable and we have a reasonably good relationship now - if a bit awkward. This weekend, when I ...
13
votes
1answer
531 views

What are the options when the mother of a 7 year old is imprisoned?

What are the options for explaining a (divorced) mother's absence to a 7 year old? Should the child be told the truth? (Assume the crime is non-violent.) Are visitations by a 7 year old to an ...
9
votes
3answers
2k views

6yo son doesn't want to return to mother after scheduled contact

Me and my wife have separated and are going through a divorce, we have two boys, 6 and 2, currently I only get to see the eldest. He stays with me from Friday evening until Sunday evening. I usually ...
3
votes
4answers
292 views

How can I, as a father, help develop my 5-year-old daughter's self-esteem?

I was was distant from her when she was a baby till 1.5 years old because of struggling through my own problems, and eventually separated from her mother for a year. And even though I have gotten ...
8
votes
3answers
336 views

Couple separated 18 months ago (irremediably), sharing custody of two children. Good or bad idea to share weekend experience together with the kids?

My brother and his ex-wife separated a year and a half ago. They are both over it and would never get back together. They have a 12-year-old girl and a 10-year-old boy whose custody they've shared ...
3
votes
1answer
218 views

Why my 3 year old cries and throws a fit about going to child care provider?

My little girl is really upset about going to our childcare provider. She starts off crying and then she screams, wets her pants, and runs off; its horrible! She starts the night before by asking her ...
2
votes
2answers
272 views

Child's dad is asking to visit, but is using drugs and uncooperative

The father of my child and I were together 8 years and broke up 15 weeks ago. We broke up due to fighting about money and we hurt on money because he spent a great deal of it on pills, which I found ...
7
votes
3answers
13k views

Is it okay to leave a 6-month-old with her grandparents to go on a week-long vacation?

Our baby is almost 6 months old, and we have a week-long vacation booked for 2 days from now. Suddenly, my mom got really scared because a friend told her that a baby left alone at this age (6-18 ...
3
votes
2answers
658 views

Should I make contact with my son's dad after 3 years?

My 6 year old son's dad hasn't been in his life for over 3 years now. He is getting older now and asking questions about daddy. Me and his dad have had a volatile relationship, we were both young and ...
-3
votes
3answers
5k views

How to treat an 18 year old girl who avoids being with family and likes being with friend?

I am asking this question on behalf of my friend, who has an 18 year old daughter. She has always been talking to me about her daughter, and whenever she talks about her, she cries. The girl used to ...
5
votes
2answers
373 views

Is an 8 week trip abroad an appropriate time away for a 14 year old?

My 14 yo son is interested going on a summer missions trip to Mt. Kilamanjaro in Tanzania, Africa. His mother is pushing him to go, but has just sprung the idea on me. Everything looks fine about the ...
7
votes
2answers
2k views

I fled my emotionally abusive husband, leaving my children. I returned but they don't want to know me

My husband and I married 18 years ago. He suffers from a particularly difficult personality disorder which has become more pronounced with time. We have five children, aged 8 - 17. As he became more ...
6
votes
2answers
308 views

What's the father's role in forming attachment?

I've read some material about the mother's role in forming good attachment in children under the age of one year. My question is - do you know about the role of fathers in forming attachment? Let's ...
5
votes
5answers
523 views

Dad makes little effort to see his daughter - to what degree should I encourage contact?

I have a three year old with my ex. When we separated he moved back in with his mom ( he didn't have a job, bad credit, etc... I know, I was an idiot ). These issues were a big part of our separation. ...
0
votes
2answers
794 views

Is it normal for a 9 year old to cry and throw a fit when his daddy leaves?

My 9 year old son cries and throws a fit when his dad leaves without him. It's not just when he leaves for work; it's everywhere. He sometimes questions his dad as to how long he will be gone, and ...
4
votes
2answers
1k views

My 2 and half year old niece does not trust anyone else besides her mom and dad

My niece is 2 and half years old and she does not mix with anyone else. I am happy that she is like that with strangers but when it comes to family she is still the same. Does not play with other ...
5
votes
5answers
390 views

Intensive father son bonding suggestions needed

My son is very attached to me (his mother) and my husband has a hard time comforting him when he needs it, especially when it comes to sleep. My son is 15 months old. He wakes up at least twice a ...
7
votes
2answers
1k views

How to explain your absence to 4 year old

My wife has taken our two boys, 9 month old and 4 year old, and is denying me all contact with them. I already haven't seen or spoken to them in 2 weeks except for a 2 minute phone call with my 4 year ...
11
votes
2answers
1k views

Maintaining contact with a one year old in a long distance situation

My wife and our two children (a five year old daughter and a one year old son) are about to move away to a different city, for a mix of reasons. This is likely to lead to a long distance relationship ...
4
votes
4answers
2k views

Do I force my son to speak to his semi-absent parent?

My son's father and I were together until my son was 6.5. We broke up because I found out he had been abusing heroin and stealing thousands of dollars in cash and items from my mother, his friends, ...
9
votes
2answers
897 views

3 yo still asks about my ex

My 3 year old son's mother and I split up long ago when he was only about 6 months old. We have a good co-parenting relationship, and we're at peace with each other. I started dating last year. My ...
10
votes
5answers
5k views

How should an infant refer to its biological father and step father?

Ex-Wife and I separated when our only child was two. She quickly found another partner and they are now living together as married. I still have regular visits and sleepovers with infant. ...
4
votes
4answers
11k views

How long did it take your baby to like daycare?

My baby started daycare at 9 mos. It's been two weeks and she still cries when we drop off and pick up. How long did it take for your baby / toddler to like day care and at what age did they start?
28
votes
7answers
5k views

How to explain to a 9-year-old why a relative is not welcome

Very soon my mother's brother will be released from prison. He is a pedophile. He was caught, plead guilty, etc etc...he is not someone I'd want around any child, certainly not my own. My mother, ...
6
votes
1answer
312 views

Should children of incarcerated parents be told the truth?

On Saturday mornings, I visit a nearby county jail. Most of the men I talk to are fathers. Some are serving short sentences and others are awaiting trials that will likely result in lengthy ...
8
votes
1answer
8k views

At what age do children notice the absence of a parent?

This past weekend, my wife went on a retreat while I stayed home with our 1-year-old twins. Since they were sleeping when she left, there was no separation anxiety. The next morning, I changed them ...
8
votes
3answers
528 views

How do you prepare a pre-schooler for potentially permanent separation from a close friend?

My three-year-old son attends a small, in-home daycare. The other kids in the daycare range from about 1 year to 5. There is one other boy my son's age, and the two of them are very good friends. ...
3
votes
3answers
32k views

Toddler: How to remove “over” attachment for Mom?

We have a 3 year old son. During the last few months we have observed him being strongly atached to his mom. Where ever he goes, he needs his mom. He cries like crazy at any time he notices she is ...
13
votes
10answers
22k views

How can we prevent crying when a parent leaves for work?

Sometimes a parent (usually Dad) spends time with the 2- to 4-year old child before leaving for work. However, after leaving, sometimes, the child cries nonstop (1 to 2 hours). Everything you offer ...
8
votes
4answers
2k views

What do you do when your parents are physically hurting you?

My girl friend called me scared for her life to day after her parent(s) strangled her. She is 19 years old and cannot support her self on her own. Im not sure what she can do or anything I can do to ...
3
votes
0answers
525 views

Does moving have a negative impact on young children?

I'm wondering about the impact of moving homes on my daughter who is only 2 and a half. My wife claims that it is better to stay in one place because of stability for our daughter. But I think that ...
4
votes
2answers
316 views

How do I prepare my child for a sleepover?

How do I prepare my kids for their first sleepover? What should I do if they want to come home?