Questions tagged [pre-teen]

Age specific questions from about 11 years to about 13 years. Also known as "tweens". Younger: middle-childhood. Older: teen.

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1
vote
4answers
413 views

How to handle the father of my 11-year-old son who just met him for the first time in our son's best interest?

I have an 11-year-old son. His father wanted me to abort him. Now, he has seen him for the first time on Saturday. The father has never seen him prior or reached out to ask about him or try to see him....
119
votes
12answers
26k views

What to do with my pre-teen daughter who has been out of control since a severe accident?

Last December we were victims of a vehicle accident that killed my husband and left my son severely brain damaged. My daughter who is 12 and will be 13 in couple months was the only one in our vehicle ...
0
votes
2answers
492 views

What to do about my 12-year-old son who doesn't show interest in anything?

I have a 12-year-old son. In the last 2 years, he has shown no interest in doing anything, not listening, not hanging out with friends, etc. He doesn't like cleaning up behind himself, is just not ...
1
vote
0answers
32 views

11 year old leaking or wetting pants while laughing [duplicate]

My 11 year old daughter has "leaked" or wet her pants (small amount) while laughing hard. She has become irrationally fearful to the point where she quit soccer and doesn't want to do anything where ...
53
votes
9answers
15k views

Neighbor's child is trying to spend all her time with us

Background My wife and I recently moved into a town-house apartment in a large complex. We have a Husky pup that my wife walks twice a day (she's a stay-at-home) and the dog attracts lots of ...
2
votes
1answer
309 views

My 9-year-old son tries to force himself into a group of friends after being rejected and is pushed over. How to help him build character?

I have a 9-year-old son. He is a lovely, sweet person with a great fondness for his friends. He is emotional, emphatic, smart and overall a nice kid. Today I learned that he is getting himself into ...
1
vote
6answers
682 views

How can I help my 11-year old boy create his first videogame?

Today I sent my child a link to a report about a boy, who has created a commercially viable videogame. My son replied that he may intend to do something similar. I asked him about the bottleneck of ...
2
votes
2answers
392 views

Restless fingers while speaking

It's very hard for me to have a relaxed talk with my son - 12 years old. He does not like talking and if he does he is playing with his fingers. This drives my crazy and it makes me afraid. I tell ...
1
vote
1answer
316 views

teens nagging at each others

The kids of my GF, 14 and 11 respectively, have that annoying tendancy to nag at each other when night time is coming. Teen girl likes to pout and teenage boy thinks himself as some kind of prima ...
4
votes
1answer
1k views

How to talk to my 13 year old son about inapropriate comments

Recently an issue has arisen with my 13 year old son and a girl he was "dating". While they were dating, I was one of those parents that always went through his phone and read messages. I was ...
2
votes
2answers
343 views

What to do with a disinterested 12-year-old boy?

My 12-year-old grandson does not have any interests other than video games. He can be a good student, but he does not turn in work and always complains about not having friends and nobody liking him. ...
3
votes
2answers
956 views

How to deal with a preteen's sudden unhealthy obsession?

Say a preteen girl is going through an unhealthy obsession. I know many people go through a phase of extreme obsession with something at some point, whether it's with a celebrity, a school crush, a ...
0
votes
1answer
513 views

What to do if your threaten be your older sister! [closed]

So I was in my home doing nothing but making some updates to my wifi network when my sister came and something happened between my sister,mother and I my sister 17 year old and me 13 year old went out ...
9
votes
2answers
2k views

What to do when a 12-year-old boy has defeated behavior management program (Kazdin method)?

I am in a six year relationship with a woman who has two kids, a 15-year-old girl and a 12-year-old boy. We have moved a lot. The child's father has been incarcerated for most of the child's life. ...
5
votes
4answers
611 views

Do I move my son to a new school?

I am the single dad of a wonderful son. We have recently moved to a new house only a few miles away from where we previously lived, but it is in another school zone. So I have been debating moving him ...
0
votes
1answer
554 views

My friend opened up to me about depression [closed]

So I'm 13 years old and in 7th grade. I have this friend that I met this year. She's been a really good friend to me but I wouldn't describe her a best friend. There has recently been some drama over ...
29
votes
11answers
18k views

What's an appropriate age for a Swiss Army Knife?

My 11-year-old son watched a documentary on the Swiss Army Knife and is enamored with getting one for Christmas. We are in the UK regulatory sphere. He proposes to use the knife on camping ...
8
votes
3answers
3k views

CISV: should I trust?

CISV is a seasoned organization which stages (among other activities) villages: 28 days-long exchanges for children aged 10 coming from all the world. I am considering letting my child take part in ...
-5
votes
1answer
301 views

How to make our 12-year-old son become more serious about his studies, punctual and less playful?

I have a 12-year-old son. He is intelligent, but will not sit and study. We always get complaints from school that he is playful and not serious. He always needs to play, especially football. When ...
3
votes
6answers
1k views

Should I cancel child support?

I'm the father of an 11-year-old boy. I've had custody since he was ~1 1/2. His mom does not have her life together and probably never will. I was a single father at the time but have since remarried. ...
9
votes
1answer
297 views

What can I do to increase the chance that my children will talk to me when disturbed?

Background My older children have mobile devices, and while they agree to allow us access to them and installation of software to permit us to review how they use the device with them, they also work ...
2
votes
2answers
298 views

How do I limit the time my neighbor's kids spend at my home?

My neighbor’s children (9, 10, 11 and 12 years old) frequently pop over to my house to play. They get permission from their parents and me. I love that we have young kids on our street, but they stay ...
3
votes
1answer
2k views

12 y/o daughter gives one-word answers to every question

My 12 y/o daughter used to be very open. A great communicator. Very warm and gregarious. A few months ago (right around the time her body started changing) she gradually started changing her pattern. ...
5
votes
5answers
3k views

My 11 year old Granddaughter told her Father today shes a lesbian

My Granddaughter told her Dr. and Father she is a lesbian, and asked to talk to a counselor. I'm wondering at this age, do they really know for sure or because they hang with girls who think they are, ...
5
votes
1answer
366 views

11-year-old with sleeping problems

My 11-year-old son has trouble sleeping alone, because of what he calls "nightmares". I don't think they are sleeping nightmares, but rather overactive imagination causing frightening thoughts while ...
-2
votes
2answers
2k views

What is an effective dating policy for a 12-year-old boy? [closed]

This is similar but not identical to When is it safe to start letting our children go into relationships? My 12-year-old son is precocious in terms of height and puberty, but emotionally he is out of ...
3
votes
4answers
763 views

How to make my 11-year-old sister study more math when even violence doesn't work?

My sister is about 11 years old. She listens to everyone around her except her family. She believes that we don't care about her. Since my family was extremely busy with jobs, we did not focus on her ...
6
votes
2answers
361 views

How best to take advantage of a child's extended vacation

This is a little more complicated than it might seem, so I'll give some back-story. We have 2 kids: The oldest, 11, was born to us during my first year of college, and I was only intermittently in ...
3
votes
4answers
22k views

10 year old refuses to go to bed

Our 10 year old stepdaughter has trouble going to bed at night. She refuses to go to bed, and fights us very hard, to the point where our only hope of her going to bed is to physically pick her up and ...
10
votes
3answers
4k views

8 year old punishes himself for bad behaviour

My 8 year old step-son is still rather sensitive for his age, and sometimes takes being disciplined very hard. When he genuinely feels bad about something he's done wrong and we tell him off, he will ...
4
votes
2answers
356 views

How to mediate between my spouse and stepchild and help our family develop a healthier relationship?

I have been with my wife for about six years. She has a daughter, currently age 11, from her first marriage who has lived with us during almost all of that time (sometimes stays with her father, but ...
3
votes
2answers
251 views

How to provide the most support to children as an 'uncle' with only monthly visits

As a side effect of some volunteering I do, I find myself playing something of an 'uncle' like relationship for some of the children of women I've volunteering with. I love children and am more then ...
33
votes
9answers
18k views

Should I tell my 10-year old son, how screwed-up Cinderella is?

My 10-year old boy recently told me that he likes the Cinderella fairy tale. Some fairy tales including this one, have several layers of meaning and sometimes they guide people's life decisions. Let'...
7
votes
4answers
5k views

How to make my 11-year-old boy more responsible?

My 11-year-old boy seems irresponsible. I understand that he is still young, but I would like to have some advice on how I need to deal with him when he makes a mistake. For example, he damaged his ...
6
votes
8answers
23k views

What to do about my 12-year-old girl out of control and threatening to call the police?

I have an almost 12-year-old daughter. I also have 2 older daughters, 20 and 21. My 12-year-old is out of control. She tells us to shut up, calls us stupid, is just mouthy. She throws her stuff ...
-1
votes
3answers
344 views

Explain Pre-Teens and Teens the problems of a surveillance state and internet privacy [closed]

I want to present an audience, consisting of mostly teens and pre-teens, the problems of a surveillance state, e.g. if everything is recorded what you are doing. That leads to an internal scissor in ...
10
votes
8answers
4k views

How do I convince my eleven-year-old to practice her dancing?

My eleven-year-old daughter who has been in dance classes since she was four. She loves ballet, and she loves to perform. However, she does not care for the stretching and practicing that are part ...
12
votes
7answers
11k views

How do I deal with my 12-year-old who is smoking?

My 12-year-old is smoking. He has been living with his father, who turns a blind eye, for just over 3 years. He will be returning to live with me shortly. He was encouraged by his father to go and ...
3
votes
3answers
307 views

Adjusting to boarding school

We have sent our 12 year old daughter to a boarding school. How can i help her not to miss her mother to an extent that she is upset the whole day, has bouts of crying? She has been away for a week, ...
4
votes
5answers
506 views

Should a precocious child be prevented from devoting too much time to their primary interest?

I know a couple of children in their early or pre-teen years who have already accomplished more than many adults accomplish in their entire careers. These accomplishments seem to be a combination of ...
5
votes
1answer
224 views

How should screen time be treated to balance the pro of education resources on the internet and con of decreased involvement in other activities?

Screen time is a tricky subject. Around middle school age there are very good uses of technology that emerge where can child can develop healthy hobbies fueled by self-motivation (which may later turn ...
9
votes
3answers
2k views

Should I allow my child to participate in dangerous sports?

When should a child be allowed to take part in "dangerous" sports or activities? I'm thinking of letting my son try motocross when he's "old enough" - but when is that, when is a child old enough to ...
4
votes
2answers
889 views

How to deal with extreme misbehavior of younger siblings?

I have a 3-year-old, a 5-year-old and an 11-year-old who have just been the most exceptionally worst behaved children on this planet. Between the 3- and 5-year-olds, they backchat, break things, have ...
5
votes
2answers
3k views

How to help an 8 year old with short attention span and obsessive character?

I need some advice on how to motivate my 8 year old daughter to pay attention more at school and achieve higher grades. She seems to have a short attention span and seems more interested in break ...
17
votes
9answers
32k views

How to deal with my 12 year old's rebellious behavior?

My son just turned 12 a few months ago, and boy is he a handful! He does not obey anything I say, curses at me, calls me names, throws tantrums, and hesitates to go to school every single day. I ...
50
votes
14answers
8k views

How can I help my child who is advanced in programming to meet others at the same skill level?

My child just turned 14 years old, and one of his hobbies is programming. He knows JavaScript, HTML, CSS, jQuery, Ruby, Python, some Java, and a bit of C++, Bash, and PHP. He also uses Git, Vim, and ...
39
votes
20answers
5k views

How can I help a child stay motivated in learning to program?

How could I help a smart preteen child (pre-teen) learn programming? He does well in school, and he has skipped 2 grades and is an introverted stereotypical nerd. He is very interested in web ...
11
votes
4answers
4k views

Building self-esteem while encouraging a tidy, acceptable appearance

My daughter is currently 10. I have always tried to encourage her to not be overly concerned with other people's opinion of her, and I think that this has largely succeeded. Like any kid, she gets ...
11
votes
3answers
52k views

Encopresis, I'm at my wits end? Does anybody have suggestions?

My 12 year old daughter has been dealing with retentive encopresis since age 6. She avoids going to the toilet at all. This results in soiling and the production of an amazing huge toilet-clogging log-...
10
votes
3answers
1k views

How can I assuage my pre-teen's fear of flying

My parents are moving to Florida soon and have asked for my help moving their car. I thought it would be nice to take my pre-teen daughter (almost 12 yo) with me on the ride down for a short visit. ...