Questions tagged [pre-teen]

Age specific questions from about 11 years to about 13 years. Also known as "tweens". Younger: middle-childhood. Older: teen.

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Dealing with 10-12 yer old impulsiveness

I have 2 sons, aged 10 and 12 and lately they have been dealing with a lot of different things. So far, their uncle died rather suddenly after Christmas, then my dog died (old age), and now the ...
Ben's user avatar
  • 611
-1 votes
0 answers
107 views

Good TV shows for teen that promote good values

My teen's teachers are complaining that he talks and act a bit too much like the current celebrity youtubers. Are there still any good TV shows suitable for teenagers, with reasonable social ...
e-Fungus's user avatar
  • 107
2 votes
1 answer
670 views

Limiting screentime, does it increase craving and addiction risk?

Edit: This question is specifically about screentime limits and cravings, there is no duplicate. We have been limiting screentime for our son for several years now. I am questioning if this is the ...
Ivana's user avatar
  • 1,421
2 votes
1 answer
707 views

My 11 year old is becoming selfish and emotional - typical preteen behaviour... but it is a bit more

So I have read this post, and it is a great starting point, but there is a bit extra that thickens the plot, and some merging conflicts that we need to deal with in order to hopefully adress this ...
Ben's user avatar
  • 611
52 votes
10 answers
13k views

Should I be restrictive in my son's interest in electricity?

My 12-year old son has had an interest in electricity for several years now. However, lately his experiments have been becoming more and more extreme. For example, he routinely looks at videos online ...
rando's user avatar
  • 820
5 votes
4 answers
503 views

Pre-teen refuses to talk about day, activities etc. How to encouage her to share?

My now almost 9 years old always refused to speak about stuff she has done, read, watched etc. For example when she comes back from "forest school" and I ask her what did she do, was there a ...
Aida Paul's user avatar
  • 151
0 votes
1 answer
252 views

My son keeps saying he's hearing his name in ambient sounds..? [closed]

So my 11 year old has been saying lately that he keeps hearing his name in ambient noises. It seems to be primarily in the breeze, or rustling leaves, or the rain. After some thought I can (with a ...
Ben's user avatar
  • 611
2 votes
3 answers
2k views

Should I be concerned about my daughter talking to herself?

My daughter is 12 years old. She is an introvert and was having issues making friends in the past, but now she has a few friends in her school. She keeps walking around the house (sometimes for an ...
asmgx's user avatar
  • 343
3 votes
1 answer
504 views

what shall I do my 12 year old daughter is out of control

My 12 year old daughter has been a nightmare in the past few months. On her good days she is the sweetest most helpful girl but these are becoming very rare. She loves her sporting activities but ...
Dee's user avatar
  • 31
3 votes
2 answers
538 views

Tween kids in separated moms bed - should I be worried?

My long-time wife separated from me about 9 months ago. I find it difficult to talk to her because I have strong emotions towards her, many of them probably not very healthy, but we've managed to talk ...
WorriedNow's user avatar
3 votes
1 answer
1k views

How to approach a child who finds allergy treatments repugnant?

My daughter has a slight nut allergy that is slowly increasing in seriousness from non-anaphylactic to anaphylactic. Our medical specialist has prescribed various treatments that include but are not ...
hawkeye's user avatar
  • 2,233
-2 votes
2 answers
381 views

Avoiding predators of a child on a website [closed]

I'm a minor who is dealing with pedos on a chat website they keep trying to friend me and give me badges I tried to report them but the moderation team won't do anything how can I stop them? Also, I ...
Robin's user avatar
  • 25
1 vote
2 answers
2k views

What do I say to 10 yr old daughter says she's a lesbian [closed]

I found out my 10 year old daughter(11 in 3 months) told her two best friends she is a lesbian. One friend is a boy who's been her best friend since they were 3 and the other is her best girlfriend. ...
JustAHuman's user avatar
1 vote
2 answers
319 views

How do I deal with abusive parents?

I'm only 13, and since I came back from Mexico (since 4 years) they have been abusive for 5 years. At first, it was all fine but then like 1 week later they became abusive. My parents are abusive my ...
Xitlali's user avatar
  • 19
1 vote
2 answers
3k views

My 12-year old daughter all of a sudden says she's trans [closed]

To give some background, my daughter has always been the proverbial girly-girl. Loved her long hair and styling it different ways, loved playing with makeup, always begging me to let her wear makeup ...
love2bemom's user avatar
2 votes
1 answer
225 views

Can I bring my parents back together? [closed]

I am fairly young, not a teenager yet. This morning, my parents had a fight and my mom said she was going to stop cooking for my dad. At lunch, I spoke to my dad about apologizing and recognizing my ...
user avatar
41 votes
5 answers
6k views

How to deal with a situation in which following the rules feels like punishment and breaking them is rewarded?

Disclaimer: This question is triggered by the current COVID-19 pandemic, but should please be seen as a more general question. To cut a long story short, a long-planned birthday party sleepover at a ...
Stephie's user avatar
  • 18.2k
1 vote
2 answers
414 views

Feel like I’m failing my 11 year old daughter [closed]

I am a mom to a beautiful and intelligent 11 year old daughter and I feel like I am failing her as a mother. She has been incredibly moody and temperamental for the last few months and I try and talk ...
Tennille Lotz's user avatar
3 votes
2 answers
420 views

Guardianship of a pre-teen who has experienced emotional trauma

We are petitioning for guardianship over our nephew. His mother has issues with mental health and addiction. Sadly our nephew has experienced and seen more than any child should see. Additionally, he ...
Afrodeezy's user avatar
  • 154
2 votes
1 answer
251 views

What can I do to encourage children I mentor to be tolerant of other's differences if parents don't want an open discussion about it?

I believe strongly In encouraging children to be open and respectful of everyone regardless of their differences, That everyone should be loved regardless of their race, gender, sexuality, religion, ...
dsollen's user avatar
  • 3,904
5 votes
1 answer
287 views

depression is affecting my parenting, work and I'd like to move city

I'm a single parent, two kids 14 & 12. no family (I'm a single child orphan, from my late teens) to help with support. I get no help (financial or otherwise) from my former partner who was removed ...
Ourjamie's user avatar
  • 477
3 votes
4 answers
1k views

What to do about my 11 year old daughter dating a boy she's never met when I don't want her to?

My 11 year old girl started year 7. She struggled with finding friends and fitting in, had rumors being said the lot. She handled things well and I discreetly let the school know she’s struggling a ...
Claire's user avatar
  • 41
3 votes
4 answers
623 views

Is it healthy for children (aged 8-14) to play with toys from for R rated film franchises?

Obligatory: not a parent. I was wandering through Walmart the other day when I came across toys, designed for kids (aged 8-14 is my guess) from the Alien franchise. (Lanard is the company, for those ...
GridAlien's user avatar
  • 131
0 votes
0 answers
203 views

My 11 yr old daughter wants to be a boy [duplicate]

My daughter came out as "transgender" to me and my husband in a family therapy session. I don't want to call her by her "preferred pronouns" of he/him because if it's a phase i'll be making a fool of ...
trampoliine's user avatar
5 votes
3 answers
2k views

Did I screw up when allowing my 12-year-old to invite only one twin to her party?

My 12-year-old daughter is an only child. A few months ago, she had her first birthday party to which both boys and girls were invited. She chose a neighborhood restaurant to have a small dinner. ...
Anne1971's user avatar
10 votes
4 answers
1k views

Where to turn for help when my 12-year-old granddaughter keeps hitting her 10-year-old sister?

I have two granddaughters, one turns 12 in August, the other is 10 years old and is small for her age (she was a prem baby). Her parents are divorced since the older child was 5 and the dad has a new ...
user avatar
2 votes
0 answers
141 views

How to help my pre-teen who is getting into trouble at school? [closed]

My daughter has just received a three day suspension from school. She is in seventh grade and this year has gotten progressively worse as time has gone on. I know that contributing factors are that ...
Noah Goodrich's user avatar
1 vote
1 answer
242 views

What to do about a 12-year-old boy who is shy outside but misbehaves at home?

I am mother of a 12-year-old boy. Compared with other children, his behavior is totally different. Behavior at home I think he behaves childishly. He talks loudly, screams and argues. He doesn't ...
Lakshmi's user avatar
  • 11
3 votes
1 answer
245 views

How to find out why my 11-year-old's memory is poor with regard to homework?

I've started to help my 11-year-old step son with his homework and in doing so, I've noticed that his memory is very poor. We walked through a multi-step process for adding three fractions, and after ...
Karen34's user avatar
  • 131
2 votes
1 answer
431 views

Is there any research on the psychological impact of male children pushing same sex parent out of the bed?

This question is about the impact on the psyche of a boy/tween who sleeps in their parents bed and as time goes on the father moves out of the bed. Certain things that may be of importance are: ...
Adam Heeg's user avatar
  • 3,358
3 votes
2 answers
186 views

How to gamify learning?

My 11-year-old son is in his second year of secondary school and motivating him to learn is becoming increasingly difficult. In primary school, the subject material was presented by his teachers in ...
user avatar
2 votes
2 answers
336 views

How can I help my nieces who suffer under their mother's behavior?

My brother-in-law (let's call him Mark) has 3 kids but it turns out the mom (let's call her Alice) is not very "maternal". She is clearly bothered by the kids and tries in every way to avoid her ...
algiogia's user avatar
  • 837
9 votes
2 answers
2k views

How can I discipline an angry 12-year-old without her hating me for it?

My 12-year-old daughter till recently had a good, friendly relationship with us (her parents) and was always happy to discuss anything that happens at school/activity classes and what's going on with ...
svj's user avatar
  • 1,442
1 vote
2 answers
232 views

12 years old - school related things

My 12 years old is very active and happy child but sometimes worries a lot. Recently the boy who he use to get along with for some reason started to bad mouthing him to other kids from school saying ...
Stribor's user avatar
  • 19
4 votes
1 answer
627 views

What to do about my adopted 11-year-old son's anger issues?

I have adopted my 11-year-old when he was a baby. He has the biggest heart, but is the most challenging: Parents all siblings - yells and pushes, pulls hair, throws things at them and squeezes their ...
Teecee's user avatar
  • 41
3 votes
4 answers
797 views

My son got in trouble for harassment at school. How can I teach him to stop?

So, a day or two ago, my son touched a girls butt during lunch. She reported him to the counselor and my son got a Saturday Detention, along with having to write a hand written apology to the girl. ...
James's user avatar
  • 31
14 votes
4 answers
26k views

Is it inappropriate for young teens to cuddle and sleep together if there is no sign of it being sexual?

I'm trying to decide if I should intervene and would very much appreciate some feedback. I am Japanese btw and my English may not be perfect, sorry. My son and his best friend are both 13 years of ...
TokyoMom's user avatar
  • 141
15 votes
2 answers
387 views

Respectful parenting and discipline

Been reading a bit about Respectful Parenting and mutual respect as a parenting style and it appeals to us. We have four kids so keeping track of reward charts and various other trackers is complex ...
MikeH's user avatar
  • 523
3 votes
5 answers
464 views

How can I teach my daughter to see her errors?

An 11-years daughter of mine, when checking a piece of her writing or math exercise, where she has one or more errors, simply misses them, whispering contentedly something as 5*6=36. Normally, if I ...
Gangnus's user avatar
  • 353
0 votes
3 answers
415 views

How to discipline teens for littering?

We have a chore system for our two tweenagers, where we all clean up at the end of the day and they help out. So far it's been pretty good with less and less oversight needed over time, and relatively ...
nurgle's user avatar
  • 477
2 votes
3 answers
299 views

How to balance teaching that hard work pays vs chores for free

We made a conscious decision not to give our kids much pocket money: it seemed a bad life lesson to teach that lots of free cash gets handed out on demand. So far that's been okay, and they've learned ...
Bob Tway's user avatar
  • 1,009
3 votes
2 answers
445 views

My 11-year-old daughter still asks me to zip her jacket

My daughter is now 11 years old, but still asks me to zip her jacket. This really worries me because she can do it herself and is otherwise independent. She even asks me when her friends are around. ...
Scottish Caitlyn's user avatar
1 vote
2 answers
6k views

My 11-year-old grandson is holding in his poop

My 11-year-old grandson holds in his poop to the point he will pack his butt with toilet paper and when he can't hold it anymore it comes out in the toilet paper. Afterwards, he tries to clean up the ...
Frankie's user avatar
  • 19
6 votes
4 answers
424 views

How to handle an 11-year-old boy who doesn't study anymore and reacts aggressively towards me?

My 11-year-old son is now in class 5. Until class 4, he was good in studies, scoring around 90 %, but from this academic year he has not been showing interest in studies. He does not complete his ...
laxmi's user avatar
  • 61
9 votes
3 answers
2k views

How to react to an eleven-year-old sneaking out at night to look at the stars?

During the holidays, two kids from two families that we are friends with snuck out at night to look at the stars. The mother of one twelve year old boy reacted with an outburst of anger and severely ...
sibmund's user avatar
  • 91
44 votes
5 answers
16k views

An incident happened at school and child didn't (want to) tell the parent

I'm asking for a friend of mine, who's the parent. Her child is 12 years old. Yesterday, at school, the child's classmate was horribly beaten up by a teacher. And I mean horrible. It ended with the ...
learner101's user avatar
  • 3,431
0 votes
1 answer
366 views

Is a Special Ed teacher allowed to tell regular teachers to instruct their students (6th graders) not to hug a child anymore? [closed]

My child is a boy in the 6th grade. Upon entering middle school, he acquired an all new administration and a new Special Ed teacher. At the end of the previous year, I was told by the Superintendent ...
Christine 's user avatar
2 votes
1 answer
375 views

12 year old daughter only misbehaves for her parents

I have a 12 year old daughter who behaves for everyone except for my wife and I. Everyone else that encounters her thinks she is just an angel, but at home she is argumentative, talks back, has a ...
Scott's user avatar
  • 21
4 votes
4 answers
943 views

My 11-year-old hates writing as do I. How to provide help to him writing a school essay without forcing him to do what he doesn't want to?

I raise my 11-year-old son by myself. He needs to write a small essay about his first day at school and I don't even know how to help him. He hates writing and is in love with math, so do I. I don't ...
user24573's user avatar
4 votes
1 answer
503 views

How do I stop my little brother from throwing things?

My brother is usually very nice to me, but sometimes he acts out. I can't be harsh with him because he is not a mature. He gets in a habit of throwing things. What can I do to get him to stop ...
Intesar's user avatar
  • 151