Questions tagged [pre-teen]

Age specific questions from about 11 years to about 13 years. Also known as "tweens". Younger: middle-childhood. Older: teen.

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11
votes
3answers
52k views

Encopresis, I'm at my wits end? Does anybody have suggestions?

My 12 year old daughter has been dealing with retentive encopresis since age 6. She avoids going to the toilet at all. This results in soiling and the production of an amazing huge toilet-clogging log-...
22
votes
4answers
8k views

How do you respond when a child catches his parents having sex?

I ask this Question on behalf of my neighbor. Their 12 year old son saw his parents having sex. As there is only one room in their home we can't say its the parents' mistake... but now the question ...
12
votes
4answers
974 views

How do you control the quantity of sweets and junk food a pre-teen eats?

For a pre-adolescent child, what strategies can I use to control the quantity of sweets and junk food that make it into his diet?
25
votes
9answers
15k views

What can I do to encourage my 12 year old son to enjoy productive activities?

I have a 12 year old son who if completely left up to his own devices, will spend almost all of his free time doing one of two things, playing casual computer games, and watching TV. I would like to ...
9
votes
3answers
2k views

Should I allow my child to participate in dangerous sports?

When should a child be allowed to take part in "dangerous" sports or activities? I'm thinking of letting my son try motocross when he's "old enough" - but when is that, when is a child old enough to ...
56
votes
11answers
74k views

12 year old boy is totally out of control

My seventh grader screamed "Fuck you" at me last night. I am at the end of my rope. His behavior is so bad I feel like I need to send him away to a boarding school or something because he is causing ...
50
votes
14answers
8k views

How can I help my child who is advanced in programming to meet others at the same skill level?

My child just turned 14 years old, and one of his hobbies is programming. He knows JavaScript, HTML, CSS, jQuery, Ruby, Python, some Java, and a bit of C++, Bash, and PHP. He also uses Git, Vim, and ...
33
votes
9answers
18k views

Should I tell my 10-year old son, how screwed-up Cinderella is?

My 10-year old boy recently told me that he likes the Cinderella fairy tale. Some fairy tales including this one, have several layers of meaning and sometimes they guide people's life decisions. Let'...
39
votes
20answers
5k views

How can I help a child stay motivated in learning to program?

How could I help a smart preteen child (pre-teen) learn programming? He does well in school, and he has skipped 2 grades and is an introverted stereotypical nerd. He is very interested in web ...
49
votes
25answers
64k views

Why does my daughter smile and start to laugh at me when I am noticeably really angry at her?

My daughter is 11 years old and has been diagnosed with high functioning austism along with sensory processing disorder. I am a single father and have raised her alone since she was two years old. We ...
12
votes
7answers
11k views

How do I deal with my 12-year-old who is smoking?

My 12-year-old is smoking. He has been living with his father, who turns a blind eye, for just over 3 years. He will be returning to live with me shortly. He was encouraged by his father to go and ...
9
votes
5answers
4k views

Is it reasonable to put limits on a pre-teen playing video games?

Posted on behalf of a friend of mine: What are appropriate rules for how much time kids actually get to play video games (such as x-box 360, PlayStation 3, or on the PC)? Apparently we are the ONLY ...
43
votes
6answers
7k views

The school has assigned reading I feel is inappropriate for my son to read. How do I approach this problem with the school and with my son?

The school has assigned The Hunger Games as a literature reading assignment for my 11 year old. I read the books and enjoyed the ride, but feel the brutality is too much for this age group, in this ...
20
votes
12answers
4k views

What if my kids don't want me to speak my native language?

My children are raised multilingual; we live in Austria and they learn all their German from my wife and from the world around us. I'm Danish and I want my kids to know that language too, so since ...
16
votes
4answers
3k views

Some strategies for maintaining adult relationships separately from children?

Some background. I have always been extremely careful about taking precautions to prevent my children from ever walking in on me when engaging in sexual activity. I've had a relationship with my next ...
15
votes
2answers
3k views

How to go about regaining the trust of my child?

After divorce, the mother got custody of our now 12-year-old daughter. The mother has committed at least 9 (provable) acts of transgressions indicating active application of parental alienation, ...
5
votes
1answer
224 views

How should screen time be treated to balance the pro of education resources on the internet and con of decreased involvement in other activities?

Screen time is a tricky subject. Around middle school age there are very good uses of technology that emerge where can child can develop healthy hobbies fueled by self-motivation (which may later turn ...
25
votes
14answers
20k views

Do parents of teens need to lock their liquor cabinet?

I had this debate with some friends who have older children. We keep our liquor in the cupboard above the fridge. When they get a bit older (still just 8 and 10) and could potentially be tempted ...
14
votes
4answers
10k views

What consequences are appropriate for pre-teens?

There comes a time when time-outs don't cut it anymore. Normally, when my kids exercise poor judgement, I let them experience natural consequences. However, sometimes their actions go against what we ...
10
votes
3answers
893 views

I can't motivate my 13 year old twins to get school work turned in

We have tried grounding them, taking all their privledges away, we have tried reward systems and nothing works. They have started lying about getting the work done and turned in when they know we ...
6
votes
3answers
711 views

How can I avoid ugly arguments with my wife?

I was recently playing a board game with my 12 year-old son and wife of 18 years. We reached a point in the game where it was my turn to play while my wife could win the game with her next move. ...
4
votes
2answers
890 views

How to deal with extreme misbehavior of younger siblings?

I have a 3-year-old, a 5-year-old and an 11-year-old who have just been the most exceptionally worst behaved children on this planet. Between the 3- and 5-year-olds, they backchat, break things, have ...
3
votes
1answer
1k views

How can I help my 11 year old daughter with encopresis?

My daughter has was diagnosed with encopresis at age 7. She's had bad constipation since 5, but I thought it was a phase. She cries when she has a "flare up" as she calls it. I can see the pain in her ...
1
vote
2answers
2k views

My 11-year-old grandson is holding in his poop

My 11-year-old grandson holds in his poop to the point he will pack his butt with toilet paper and when he can't hold it anymore it comes out in the toilet paper. Afterwards, he tries to clean up the ...