Questions tagged [pre-teen]

Age specific questions from about 11 years to about 13 years. Also known as "tweens". Younger: middle-childhood. Older: teen.

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0answers
205 views

highly intellegent 11 year old male grandson thinks its ok to spend mothers money without asking permission

In a nutshell my very booksmart 11 yr old grandson, since he was about 8 yrs old, thinks it's not a big deal for him to spend his mother's hard earned money without asking for it first,oh, he's an ...
12
votes
7answers
11k views

How do I deal with my 12-year-old who is smoking?

My 12-year-old is smoking. He has been living with his father, who turns a blind eye, for just over 3 years. He will be returning to live with me shortly. He was encouraged by his father to go and ...
9
votes
3answers
443 views

Where to turn for help when my 12-year-old granddaughter keeps hitting her 10-year-old sister?

I have two granddaughters, one turns 12 in August, the other is 10 years old and is small for her age (she was a prem baby). Her parents are divorced since the older child was 5 and the dad has a new ...
0
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0answers
99 views

My 11 yr old daughter wants to be a boy [duplicate]

My daughter came out as "transgender" to me and my husband in a family therapy session. I don't want to call her by her "preferred pronouns" of he/him because if it's a phase i'll be making a fool of ...
5
votes
3answers
554 views

Did I screw up when allowing my 12-year-old to invite only one twin to her party?

My 12-year-old daughter is an only child. A few months ago, she had her first birthday party to which both boys and girls were invited. She chose a neighborhood restaurant to have a small dinner. ...
16
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4answers
16k views

How to motivate my extremely lazy 12-year-old?

My 12-year-old son is a good kid, but he is extremely unmotivated to do literally anything unless I or his mother are constantly riding him the whole time. As a young child, he was "easy" to raise ...
10
votes
4answers
2k views

What house rules are appropriate for pre-teens?

As my kids grow, they need different limits. Right now, the house rules are reactionary as a result of something we didn't like happening. Things like, "call home if you are going to be somewhere ...
29
votes
11answers
19k views

What's an appropriate age for a Swiss Army Knife?

My 11-year-old son watched a documentary on the Swiss Army Knife and is enamored with getting one for Christmas. We are in the UK regulatory sphere. He proposes to use the knife on camping ...
5
votes
2answers
573 views

Topics for kids for moving in with girlfriend and kids [closed]

I'm somewhat of a shy guy, more precisely though I just don't know what to talk about. My problem is that I've moved in with my girlfriend, and she has two kids, a girl aged 12 and a boy aged 14, and ...
11
votes
4answers
100k views

How can I deal with my 12-year old son's rebellious behaviour?

My son is a very loving child and fun to be with usually....ever since he turned 12 he is suddenly the resident expert in the house on anything from how to drive a car to how become president. You ...
4
votes
1answer
410 views

What to do about my adopted 11-year-old son's anger issues?

I have adopted my 11-year-old when he was a baby. He has the biggest heart, but is the most challenging: Parents all siblings - yells and pushes, pulls hair, throws things at them and squeezes their ...
49
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25answers
64k views

Why does my daughter smile and start to laugh at me when I am noticeably really angry at her?

My daughter is 11 years old and has been diagnosed with high functioning austism along with sensory processing disorder. I am a single father and have raised her alone since she was two years old. We ...
2
votes
0answers
109 views

How to help my pre-teen who is getting into trouble at school? [closed]

My daughter has just received a three day suspension from school. She is in seventh grade and this year has gotten progressively worse as time has gone on. I know that contributing factors are that ...
8
votes
2answers
976 views

How to help my 11-year-old daughter who is confused because she likes a girl?

My 11-year-old daughter came to me and told me that she thinks she has feelings for another girl. She explained it as she has the same feelings for this girl that she has had for a boy all school year....
9
votes
2answers
800 views

How can I discipline an angry 12-year-old without her hating me for it?

My 12-year-old daughter till recently had a good, friendly relationship with us (her parents) and was always happy to discuss anything that happens at school/activity classes and what's going on with ...
1
vote
1answer
193 views

What to do about a 12-year-old boy who is shy outside but misbehaves at home?

I am mother of a 12-year-old boy. Compared with other children, his behavior is totally different. Behavior at home I think he behaves childishly. He talks loudly, screams and argues. He doesn't ...
10
votes
3answers
825 views

How can I help my children who just found out my wife left us?

My wife and I have been married for coming up close to 14 years now. We have 3 children, aged 12, 9 and 5. Recently, she started seeing another man and called it quits on me and the kids. She moved ...
11
votes
3answers
846 views

What to do after my nephew showed a graphic video to my 9-year-old son?

My 12-year-old nephew "Bob" took my 9-year-old son aside and showed him a video of ISIS beheading a victim. I am just flabbergasted that Bob would do that. Interestingly Bob did not show the video to ...
2
votes
2answers
298 views

How do I limit the time my neighbor's kids spend at my home?

My neighbor’s children (9, 10, 11 and 12 years old) frequently pop over to my house to play. They get permission from their parents and me. I love that we have young kids on our street, but they stay ...
2
votes
1answer
352 views

Is there any research on the psychological impact of male children pushing same sex parent out of the bed?

This question is about the impact on the psyche of a boy/tween who sleeps in their parents bed and as time goes on the father moves out of the bed. Certain things that may be of importance are: ...
6
votes
2answers
403 views

Mathematics concepts for older children and teens

I have previously asked the question teaching mathematics to young children about reliance on aids, but now I face this issue with the students I tutor. Seeing as many parents I know have also ...
3
votes
1answer
188 views

How to find out why my 11-year-old's memory is poor with regard to homework?

I've started to help my 11-year-old step son with his homework and in doing so, I've noticed that his memory is very poor. We walked through a multi-step process for adding three fractions, and after ...
4
votes
2answers
400 views

What's the long-term effect on a child being accustomed to sleeping with the TV on?

The TV is outside my 12-year-old daughter's bedroom. She likes me to sit up until she falls asleep (which is not difficult). I pull the door to and we agree on a maximum volume that makes her feel ...
3
votes
2answers
136 views

How to gamify learning?

My 11-year-old son is in his second year of secondary school and motivating him to learn is becoming increasingly difficult. In primary school, the subject material was presented by his teachers in ...
8
votes
14answers
18k views

How can I get my 12-year old physically active or into sports when he's never been?

My son is 12-years old, and he has never been into traditional competitive sports. I'm fine with this - not all kids are. He played baseball for a short period when he was 8, but he didn't really ...
2
votes
2answers
200 views

How can I help my nieces who suffer under their mother's behavior?

My brother-in-law (let's call him Mark) has 3 kids but it turns out the mom (let's call her Alice) is not very "maternal". She is clearly bothered by the kids and tries in every way to avoid her ...
1
vote
2answers
195 views

12 years old - school related things

My 12 years old is very active and happy child but sometimes worries a lot. Recently the boy who he use to get along with for some reason started to bad mouthing him to other kids from school saying ...
3
votes
4answers
544 views

My son got in trouble for harassment at school. How can I teach him to stop?

So, a day or two ago, my son touched a girls butt during lunch. She reported him to the counselor and my son got a Saturday Detention, along with having to write a hand written apology to the girl. ...
8
votes
2answers
3k views

Is it inappropriate for young teens to cuddle and sleep together if there is no sign of it being sexual?

I'm trying to decide if I should intervene and would very much appreciate some feedback. I am Japanese btw and my English may not be perfect, sorry. My son and his best friend are both 13 years of ...
15
votes
2answers
323 views

Respectful parenting and discipline

Been reading a bit about Respectful Parenting and mutual respect as a parenting style and it appeals to us. We have four kids so keeping track of reward charts and various other trackers is complex ...
1
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4answers
413 views

How to handle the father of my 11-year-old son who just met him for the first time in our son's best interest?

I have an 11-year-old son. His father wanted me to abort him. Now, he has seen him for the first time on Saturday. The father has never seen him prior or reached out to ask about him or try to see him....
2
votes
5answers
402 views

How can I teach my daughter to see her errors?

An 11-years daughter of mine, when checking a piece of her writing or math exercise, where she has one or more errors, simply misses them, whispering contentedly something as 5*6=36. Normally, if I ...
6
votes
8answers
23k views

What to do about my 12-year-old girl out of control and threatening to call the police?

I have an almost 12-year-old daughter. I also have 2 older daughters, 20 and 21. My 12-year-old is out of control. She tells us to shut up, calls us stupid, is just mouthy. She throws her stuff ...
1
vote
6answers
682 views

How can I help my 11-year old boy create his first videogame?

Today I sent my child a link to a report about a boy, who has created a commercially viable videogame. My son replied that he may intend to do something similar. I asked him about the bottleneck of ...
3
votes
3answers
780 views

My husband is likely the father of a child, but the child doesn't know. Is it too late with the child being 12 years old?

This happened before my husband and I were together! My husband was told 11 years ago that he fathered a little boy. The mother told him it was his then the very next day she told him she was just ...
3
votes
6answers
1k views

Should I cancel child support?

I'm the father of an 11-year-old boy. I've had custody since he was ~1 1/2. His mom does not have her life together and probably never will. I was a single father at the time but have since remarried. ...
17
votes
9answers
32k views

How to deal with my 12 year old's rebellious behavior?

My son just turned 12 a few months ago, and boy is he a handful! He does not obey anything I say, curses at me, calls me names, throws tantrums, and hesitates to go to school every single day. I ...
4
votes
2answers
890 views

How to deal with extreme misbehavior of younger siblings?

I have a 3-year-old, a 5-year-old and an 11-year-old who have just been the most exceptionally worst behaved children on this planet. Between the 3- and 5-year-olds, they backchat, break things, have ...
9
votes
2answers
2k views

What to do when a 12-year-old boy has defeated behavior management program (Kazdin method)?

I am in a six year relationship with a woman who has two kids, a 15-year-old girl and a 12-year-old boy. We have moved a lot. The child's father has been incarcerated for most of the child's life. ...
5
votes
2answers
3k views

Is jogging an appropriate activity for a pre-adolescent child?

This question was motivated by seeing a 6 or 7 year old girl jogging with her mom today. I was in slow moving traffic so I know she ran at least 2.5 miles (the distance between the lights causing said ...
2
votes
2answers
343 views

What to do with a disinterested 12-year-old boy?

My 12-year-old grandson does not have any interests other than video games. He can be a good student, but he does not turn in work and always complains about not having friends and nobody liking him. ...
0
votes
3answers
199 views

How to discipline teens for littering?

We have a chore system for our two tweenagers, where we all clean up at the end of the day and they help out. So far it's been pretty good with less and less oversight needed over time, and relatively ...
2
votes
3answers
241 views

How to balance teaching that hard work pays vs chores for free

We made a conscious decision not to give our kids much pocket money: it seemed a bad life lesson to teach that lots of free cash gets handed out on demand. So far that's been okay, and they've learned ...
11
votes
4answers
4k views

Building self-esteem while encouraging a tidy, acceptable appearance

My daughter is currently 10. I have always tried to encourage her to not be overly concerned with other people's opinion of her, and I think that this has largely succeeded. Like any kid, she gets ...
33
votes
9answers
18k views

Should I tell my 10-year old son, how screwed-up Cinderella is?

My 10-year old boy recently told me that he likes the Cinderella fairy tale. Some fairy tales including this one, have several layers of meaning and sometimes they guide people's life decisions. Let'...
3
votes
4answers
763 views

How to make my 11-year-old sister study more math when even violence doesn't work?

My sister is about 11 years old. She listens to everyone around her except her family. She believes that we don't care about her. Since my family was extremely busy with jobs, we did not focus on her ...
4
votes
2answers
238 views

How to deal with two 10- and 12-year-old brothers fighting?

I am a father of 10- and 12-year-old boys. Both used to play happily and regularly and fought on occasions. The younger boy used to complain about his older brother with some deep cries and proof of ...
1
vote
2answers
2k views

My 11-year-old grandson is holding in his poop

My 11-year-old grandson holds in his poop to the point he will pack his butt with toilet paper and when he can't hold it anymore it comes out in the toilet paper. Afterwards, he tries to clean up the ...
1
vote
3answers
544 views

How can allowing children to participate on Halloween be helpful in reinforcing good habits?

I recently wrote this: "Halloween: the one day where we encourage children to accept candy from strangers, go to strangers' homes, and vandalize property and terrorize people if they don't get ...
14
votes
3answers
3k views

How to figure out which of my children is lying to me? [duplicate]

I'm looking for advice on how to determine which of my children is lying. I have 4 kids, 12, 12, 8, 6. About once a week, something bad will happen, (this last incident, somebody poured a bowl of ...