Questions tagged [pre-teen]

Age specific questions from about 11 years to about 13 years. Also known as "tweens". Younger: middle-childhood. Older: teen.

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5
votes
5answers
1k views

How do I get my daughter to spend less time at the computer?

Possible Duplicate: What can I do to encourage my 12 year old son to do more productive things? My daughter, age 13, dominated the "public children laptop" which was meant to be shared with her ...
43
votes
6answers
7k views

The school has assigned reading I feel is inappropriate for my son to read. How do I approach this problem with the school and with my son?

The school has assigned The Hunger Games as a literature reading assignment for my 11 year old. I read the books and enjoyed the ride, but feel the brutality is too much for this age group, in this ...
6
votes
1answer
247 views

How should screen time be treated to balance the pro of education resources on the internet and con of decreased involvement in other activities?

Screen time is a tricky subject. Around middle school age there are very good uses of technology that emerge where can child can develop healthy hobbies fueled by self-motivation (which may later turn ...
1
vote
2answers
316 views

Feel like I’m failing my 11 year old daughter [closed]

I am a mom to a beautiful and intelligent 11 year old daughter and I feel like I am failing her as a mother. She has been incredibly moody and temperamental for the last few months and I try and talk ...
2
votes
0answers
102 views

Guardianship of a pre-teen who has experienced emotional trauma

My husband and I are petitioning for guardianship over our nephew. His mother (my husband's sister) is not stable. She has issues with mental health and has had problems with addiction for many years. ...
2
votes
1answer
176 views

What can I do to encourage children I mentor to be tolerant of other's differences if parents don't want an open discussion about it?

I believe strongly In encouraging children to be open and respectful of everyone regardless of their differences, That everyone should be loved regardless of their race, gender, sexuality, religion, ...
9
votes
4answers
5k views

How to make my 11-year-old boy more responsible?

My 11-year-old boy seems irresponsible. I understand that he is still young, but I would like to have some advice on how I need to deal with him when he makes a mistake. For example, he damaged his ...
5
votes
1answer
233 views

depression is affecting my parenting, work and I'd like to move city

I'm a single parent, two kids 14 & 12. no family (I'm a single child orphan, from my late teens) to help with support. I get no help (financial or otherwise) from my former partner who was removed ...
0
votes
3answers
383 views

Advice needed about 11year olds

My 11 year old girl started year 7 she struggled with finding friends and fitting in had rumors being said the lot she handled things well and I discreetly let the school know she’s struggling a bit. ...
6
votes
4answers
11k views

What to do about my out-of-control 12-year-old daughter?

My 12-year-old daughter is a good kid. But when something doesn't go her way she calls me a bitch and cusses a lot. I take her phone away when she does that. She can be so good, but it's like turning ...
3
votes
4answers
473 views

Is it healthy for children (aged 8-14) to play with toys from for R rated film franchises?

Obligatory: not a parent. I was wandering through Walmart the other day when I came across toys, designed for kids (aged 8-14 is my guess) from the Alien franchise. (Lanard is the company, for those ...
8
votes
3answers
3k views

CISV: should I trust?

CISV is a seasoned organization which stages (among other activities) villages: 28 days-long exchanges for children aged 10 coming from all the world. I am considering letting my child take part in ...
12
votes
7answers
12k views

How do I deal with my 12-year-old who is smoking?

My 12-year-old is smoking. He has been living with his father, who turns a blind eye, for just over 3 years. He will be returning to live with me shortly. He was encouraged by his father to go and ...
9
votes
3answers
470 views

Where to turn for help when my 12-year-old granddaughter keeps hitting her 10-year-old sister?

I have two granddaughters, one turns 12 in August, the other is 10 years old and is small for her age (she was a prem baby). Her parents are divorced since the older child was 5 and the dad has a new ...
0
votes
0answers
117 views

My 11 yr old daughter wants to be a boy [duplicate]

My daughter came out as "transgender" to me and my husband in a family therapy session. I don't want to call her by her "preferred pronouns" of he/him because if it's a phase i'll be making a fool of ...
5
votes
3answers
622 views

Did I screw up when allowing my 12-year-old to invite only one twin to her party?

My 12-year-old daughter is an only child. A few months ago, she had her first birthday party to which both boys and girls were invited. She chose a neighborhood restaurant to have a small dinner. ...
16
votes
4answers
19k views

How to motivate my extremely lazy 12-year-old?

My 12-year-old son is a good kid, but he is extremely unmotivated to do literally anything unless I or his mother are constantly riding him the whole time. As a young child, he was "easy" to raise ...
10
votes
4answers
2k views

What house rules are appropriate for pre-teens?

As my kids grow, they need different limits. Right now, the house rules are reactionary as a result of something we didn't like happening. Things like, "call home if you are going to be somewhere ...
29
votes
11answers
20k views

What's an appropriate age for a Swiss Army Knife?

My 11-year-old son watched a documentary on the Swiss Army Knife and is enamored with getting one for Christmas. We are in the UK regulatory sphere. He proposes to use the knife on camping ...
5
votes
2answers
578 views

Topics for kids for moving in with girlfriend and kids [closed]

I'm somewhat of a shy guy, more precisely though I just don't know what to talk about. My problem is that I've moved in with my girlfriend, and she has two kids, a girl aged 12 and a boy aged 14, and ...
11
votes
4answers
102k views

How can I deal with my 12-year old son's rebellious behaviour?

My son is a very loving child and fun to be with usually....ever since he turned 12 he is suddenly the resident expert in the house on anything from how to drive a car to how become president. You ...
4
votes
1answer
419 views

What to do about my adopted 11-year-old son's anger issues?

I have adopted my 11-year-old when he was a baby. He has the biggest heart, but is the most challenging: Parents all siblings - yells and pushes, pulls hair, throws things at them and squeezes their ...
49
votes
25answers
69k views

Why does my daughter smile and start to laugh at me when I am noticeably really angry at her?

My daughter is 11 years old and has been diagnosed with high functioning austism along with sensory processing disorder. I am a single father and have raised her alone since she was two years old. We ...
2
votes
0answers
114 views

How to help my pre-teen who is getting into trouble at school? [closed]

My daughter has just received a three day suspension from school. She is in seventh grade and this year has gotten progressively worse as time has gone on. I know that contributing factors are that ...
10
votes
2answers
2k views

How to help my 11-year-old daughter who is confused because she likes a girl?

My 11-year-old daughter came to me and told me that she thinks she has feelings for another girl. She explained it as she has the same feelings for this girl that she has had for a boy all school year....
9
votes
2answers
865 views

How can I discipline an angry 12-year-old without her hating me for it?

My 12-year-old daughter till recently had a good, friendly relationship with us (her parents) and was always happy to discuss anything that happens at school/activity classes and what's going on with ...
1
vote
1answer
203 views

What to do about a 12-year-old boy who is shy outside but misbehaves at home?

I am mother of a 12-year-old boy. Compared with other children, his behavior is totally different. Behavior at home I think he behaves childishly. He talks loudly, screams and argues. He doesn't ...
10
votes
3answers
855 views

How can I help my children who just found out my wife left us?

My wife and I have been married for coming up close to 14 years now. We have 3 children, aged 12, 9 and 5. Recently, she started seeing another man and called it quits on me and the kids. She moved ...
12
votes
3answers
884 views

What to do after my nephew showed a graphic video to my 9-year-old son?

My 12-year-old nephew "Bob" took my 9-year-old son aside and showed him a video of ISIS beheading a victim. I am just flabbergasted that Bob would do that. Interestingly Bob did not show the video to ...
2
votes
2answers
307 views

How do I limit the time my neighbor's kids spend at my home?

My neighbor’s children (9, 10, 11 and 12 years old) frequently pop over to my house to play. They get permission from their parents and me. I love that we have young kids on our street, but they stay ...
2
votes
1answer
367 views

Is there any research on the psychological impact of male children pushing same sex parent out of the bed?

This question is about the impact on the psyche of a boy/tween who sleeps in their parents bed and as time goes on the father moves out of the bed. Certain things that may be of importance are: ...
6
votes
2answers
413 views

Mathematics concepts for older children and teens

I have previously asked the question teaching mathematics to young children about reliance on aids, but now I face this issue with the students I tutor. Seeing as many parents I know have also ...
3
votes
1answer
194 views

How to find out why my 11-year-old's memory is poor with regard to homework?

I've started to help my 11-year-old step son with his homework and in doing so, I've noticed that his memory is very poor. We walked through a multi-step process for adding three fractions, and after ...
4
votes
2answers
407 views

What's the long-term effect on a child being accustomed to sleeping with the TV on?

The TV is outside my 12-year-old daughter's bedroom. She likes me to sit up until she falls asleep (which is not difficult). I pull the door to and we agree on a maximum volume that makes her feel ...
3
votes
2answers
148 views

How to gamify learning?

My 11-year-old son is in his second year of secondary school and motivating him to learn is becoming increasingly difficult. In primary school, the subject material was presented by his teachers in ...
8
votes
14answers
18k views

How can I get my 12-year old physically active or into sports when he's never been?

My son is 12-years old, and he has never been into traditional competitive sports. I'm fine with this - not all kids are. He played baseball for a short period when he was 8, but he didn't really ...
2
votes
2answers
206 views

How can I help my nieces who suffer under their mother's behavior?

My brother-in-law (let's call him Mark) has 3 kids but it turns out the mom (let's call her Alice) is not very "maternal". She is clearly bothered by the kids and tries in every way to avoid her ...
1
vote
2answers
203 views

12 years old - school related things

My 12 years old is very active and happy child but sometimes worries a lot. Recently the boy who he use to get along with for some reason started to bad mouthing him to other kids from school saying ...
3
votes
4answers
565 views

My son got in trouble for harassment at school. How can I teach him to stop?

So, a day or two ago, my son touched a girls butt during lunch. She reported him to the counselor and my son got a Saturday Detention, along with having to write a hand written apology to the girl. ...
8
votes
2answers
6k views

Is it inappropriate for young teens to cuddle and sleep together if there is no sign of it being sexual?

I'm trying to decide if I should intervene and would very much appreciate some feedback. I am Japanese btw and my English may not be perfect, sorry. My son and his best friend are both 13 years of ...
15
votes
2answers
354 views

Respectful parenting and discipline

Been reading a bit about Respectful Parenting and mutual respect as a parenting style and it appeals to us. We have four kids so keeping track of reward charts and various other trackers is complex ...
1
vote
4answers
424 views

How to handle the father of my 11-year-old son who just met him for the first time in our son's best interest?

I have an 11-year-old son. His father wanted me to abort him. Now, he has seen him for the first time on Saturday. The father has never seen him prior or reached out to ask about him or try to see him....
2
votes
5answers
412 views

How can I teach my daughter to see her errors?

An 11-years daughter of mine, when checking a piece of her writing or math exercise, where she has one or more errors, simply misses them, whispering contentedly something as 5*6=36. Normally, if I ...
6
votes
8answers
24k views

What to do about my 12-year-old girl out of control and threatening to call the police?

I have an almost 12-year-old daughter. I also have 2 older daughters, 20 and 21. My 12-year-old is out of control. She tells us to shut up, calls us stupid, is just mouthy. She throws her stuff ...
1
vote
6answers
697 views

How can I help my 11-year old boy create his first videogame?

Today I sent my child a link to a report about a boy, who has created a commercially viable videogame. My son replied that he may intend to do something similar. I asked him about the bottleneck of ...
3
votes
3answers
814 views

My husband is likely the father of a child, but the child doesn't know. Is it too late with the child being 12 years old?

This happened before my husband and I were together! My husband was told 11 years ago that he fathered a little boy. The mother told him it was his then the very next day she told him she was just ...
3
votes
6answers
1k views

Should I cancel child support?

I'm the father of an 11-year-old boy. I've had custody since he was ~1 1/2. His mom does not have her life together and probably never will. I was a single father at the time but have since remarried. ...
17
votes
9answers
34k views

How to deal with my 12 year old's rebellious behavior?

My son just turned 12 a few months ago, and boy is he a handful! He does not obey anything I say, curses at me, calls me names, throws tantrums, and hesitates to go to school every single day. I ...
4
votes
2answers
971 views

How to deal with extreme misbehavior of younger siblings?

I have a 3-year-old, a 5-year-old and an 11-year-old who have just been the most exceptionally worst behaved children on this planet. Between the 3- and 5-year-olds, they backchat, break things, have ...
10
votes
2answers
2k views

What to do when a 12-year-old boy has defeated behavior management program (Kazdin method)?

I am in a six year relationship with a woman who has two kids, a 15-year-old girl and a 12-year-old boy. We have moved a lot. The child's father has been incarcerated for most of the child's life. ...