Questions tagged [pre-teen]

Age specific questions from about 11 years to about 13 years. Also known as "tweens". Younger: middle-childhood. Older: teen.

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4 votes
3 answers
540 views

What to do with a disinterested 12-year-old boy?

My 12-year-old grandson does not have any interests other than video games. He can be a good student, but he does not turn in work and always complains about not having friends and nobody liking him. ...
1 vote
0 answers
97 views

12 year old daughter states she wants to be a boy [closed]

My 12 year old daughter stated tonight how she wants to be a boy. Of course her father and I explained how we love her and support her no matter what. I do have my thoughts, which I did not express to ...
2 votes
2 answers
385 views

Should I be concerned about my daughter talking to herself?

My daughter is 12 yo, she is an introvert and was having issues making friends in the past but now she has few friends in her school. She keeps walking around the house (sometimes for an hour) talking ...
4 votes
1 answer
249 views

what shall I do my 12 year old daughter is out of control

My 12 year old daughter has been a nightmare in the past few months. On her good days she is the sweetest most helpful girl but these are becoming very rare. She loves her sporting activities but ...
3 votes
2 answers
483 views

Tween kids in separated moms bed - should I be worried?

My long-time wife separated from me about 9 months ago. I find it difficult to talk to her because I have strong emotions towards her, many of them probably not very healthy, but we've managed to talk ...
-4 votes
1 answer
386 views

How to make our 12-year-old son become more serious about his studies, more punctual, and less playful?

I have a 12-year-old son. He is intelligent, but will not sit and study. We always get complaints from school that he is playful and not serious. He always needs to play, especially football. When he ...
13 votes
3 answers
15k views

How to help my 11-year-old daughter who is confused because she likes a girl?

My 11-year-old daughter came to me and told me that she thinks she has feelings for another girl. She explained it as she has the same feelings for this girl that she has had for a boy all school year....
2 votes
4 answers
886 views

What to do about my 11 year old daughter dating a boy she's never met when I don't want her to?

My 11 year old girl started year 7. She struggled with finding friends and fitting in, had rumors being said the lot. She handled things well and I discreetly let the school know she’s struggling a ...
7 votes
5 answers
16k views

What to do about my out-of-control 12-year-old daughter?

My 12-year-old daughter is a good kid. But when something doesn't go her way she calls me a bitch and cusses a lot. I take her phone away when she does that. She can be so good, but it's like turning ...
3 votes
1 answer
1k views

How to approach a child who finds allergy treatments repugnant?

My daughter has a slight nut allergy that is slowly increasing in seriousness from non-anaphylactic to anaphylactic. Our medical specialist has prescribed various treatments that include but are not ...
3 votes
2 answers
298 views

Guardianship of a pre-teen who has experienced emotional trauma

My husband and I are petitioning for guardianship over our nephew. His mother (my husband's sister) is not stable. She has issues with mental health and has had problems with addiction for many years. ...
-2 votes
2 answers
346 views

Avoiding predators of a child on a website [closed]

I'm a minor who is dealing with pedos on a chat website they keep trying to friend me and give me badges I tried to report them but the moderation team won't do anything how can I stop them? Also, I ...
1 vote
2 answers
888 views

What do I say to 10 yr old daughter says she's a lesbian [closed]

I found out my 10 year old daughter(11 in 3 months) told her two best friends she is a lesbian. One friend is a boy who's been her best friend since they were 3 and the other is her best girlfriend. ...
13 votes
4 answers
18k views

Is it inappropriate for young teens to cuddle and sleep together if there is no sign of it being sexual?

I'm trying to decide if I should intervene and would very much appreciate some feedback. I am Japanese btw and my English may not be perfect, sorry. My son and his best friend are both 13 years of ...
3 votes
6 answers
1k views

Should I cancel child support? [closed]

I'm the father of an 11-year-old boy. I've had custody since he was ~1 1/2. His mom does not have her life together and probably never will. I was a single father at the time but have since remarried. ...
10 votes
4 answers
796 views

Where to turn for help when my 12-year-old granddaughter keeps hitting her 10-year-old sister?

I have two granddaughters, one turns 12 in August, the other is 10 years old and is small for her age (she was a prem baby). Her parents are divorced since the older child was 5 and the dad has a new ...
1 vote
2 answers
303 views

How do I deal with abusive parents?

I'm only 13, and since I came back from Mexico (since 4 years) they have been abusive for 5 years. At first, it was all fine but then like 1 week later they became abusive. My parents are abusive my ...
2 votes
2 answers
2k views

My almost 12-year-old daughters threw tantrums and screamed outside the house

I’m a part-time working mom and I have twin daughters. They’ll be 12 years old next month. My question is is it normal, even when they’re almost 12 years old, to sometimes scream and cry like crazy ...
1 vote
2 answers
2k views

My 12-year old daughter all of a sudden says she's trans [closed]

To give some background, my daughter has always been the proverbial girly-girl. Loved her long hair and styling it different ways, loved playing with makeup, always begging me to let her wear makeup ...
42 votes
5 answers
6k views

How to deal with a situation in which following the rules feels like punishment and breaking them is rewarded?

Disclaimer: This question is triggered by the current COVID-19 pandemic, but should please be seen as a more general question. To cut a long story short, a long-planned birthday party sleepover at a ...
2 votes
1 answer
177 views

Can I bring my parents back together? [closed]

I am fairly young, not a teenager yet. This morning, my parents had a fight and my mom said she was going to stop cooking for my dad. At lunch, I spoke to my dad about apologizing and recognizing my ...
12 votes
3 answers
1k views

How can I help my children who just found out my wife left us?

My wife and I have been married for coming up close to 14 years now. We have 3 children, aged 12, 9 and 5. Recently, she started seeing another man and called it quits on me and the kids. She moved ...
6 votes
1 answer
2k views

Is it appropriate for boys aged 7 and 11 to go shirtless at home in front of 7 year old girl?

I am divorced with 2 boys and my significant other has a girl. My boys are 11 and 7, and she is 7. What brought me here is me not understanding certain things such as, my significant other asks me to ...
9 votes
6 answers
11k views

My 13-year-old daughter is talking to a 20-year old girl on the internet. Is this normal?

She’s not very open so I have no idea whether their conversations are age-appropriate. She is a really intelligent and responsible kid, and she's definitely smart enough not to give out any personal ...
6 votes
5 answers
1k views

How do I get my daughter to spend less time at the computer?

Possible Duplicate: What can I do to encourage my 12 year old son to do more productive things? My daughter, age 13, dominated the "public children laptop" which was meant to be shared with her ...
44 votes
6 answers
8k views

The school has assigned reading I feel is inappropriate for my son to read. How do I approach this problem with the school and with my son?

The school has assigned The Hunger Games as a literature reading assignment for my 11 year old. I read the books and enjoyed the ride, but feel the brutality is too much for this age group, in this ...
6 votes
1 answer
271 views

How should screen time be treated to balance the pro of education resources on the internet and con of decreased involvement in other activities?

Screen time is a tricky subject. Around middle school age there are very good uses of technology that emerge where can child can develop healthy hobbies fueled by self-motivation (which may later turn ...
1 vote
2 answers
391 views

Feel like I’m failing my 11 year old daughter [closed]

I am a mom to a beautiful and intelligent 11 year old daughter and I feel like I am failing her as a mother. She has been incredibly moody and temperamental for the last few months and I try and talk ...
2 votes
1 answer
232 views

What can I do to encourage children I mentor to be tolerant of other's differences if parents don't want an open discussion about it?

I believe strongly In encouraging children to be open and respectful of everyone regardless of their differences, That everyone should be loved regardless of their race, gender, sexuality, religion, ...
9 votes
4 answers
6k views

How to make my 11-year-old boy more responsible?

My 11-year-old boy seems irresponsible. I understand that he is still young, but I would like to have some advice on how I need to deal with him when he makes a mistake. For example, he damaged his ...
5 votes
1 answer
265 views

depression is affecting my parenting, work and I'd like to move city

I'm a single parent, two kids 14 & 12. no family (I'm a single child orphan, from my late teens) to help with support. I get no help (financial or otherwise) from my former partner who was removed ...
3 votes
4 answers
530 views

Is it healthy for children (aged 8-14) to play with toys from for R rated film franchises?

Obligatory: not a parent. I was wandering through Walmart the other day when I came across toys, designed for kids (aged 8-14 is my guess) from the Alien franchise. (Lanard is the company, for those ...
8 votes
3 answers
4k views

CISV: should I trust?

CISV is a seasoned organization which stages (among other activities) villages: 28 days-long exchanges for children aged 10 coming from all the world. I am considering letting my child take part in ...
12 votes
7 answers
13k views

How do I deal with my 12-year-old who is smoking?

My 12-year-old is smoking. He has been living with his father, who turns a blind eye, for just over 3 years. He will be returning to live with me shortly. He was encouraged by his father to go and ...
0 votes
0 answers
186 views

My 11 yr old daughter wants to be a boy [duplicate]

My daughter came out as "transgender" to me and my husband in a family therapy session. I don't want to call her by her "preferred pronouns" of he/him because if it's a phase i'll be making a fool of ...
5 votes
3 answers
1k views

Did I screw up when allowing my 12-year-old to invite only one twin to her party?

My 12-year-old daughter is an only child. A few months ago, she had her first birthday party to which both boys and girls were invited. She chose a neighborhood restaurant to have a small dinner. ...
17 votes
4 answers
24k views

How to motivate my extremely lazy 12-year-old?

My 12-year-old son is a good kid, but he is extremely unmotivated to do literally anything unless I or his mother are constantly riding him the whole time. As a young child, he was "easy" to raise ...
11 votes
4 answers
2k views

What house rules are appropriate for pre-teens?

As my kids grow, they need different limits. Right now, the house rules are reactionary as a result of something we didn't like happening. Things like, "call home if you are going to be somewhere ...
29 votes
11 answers
23k views

What's an appropriate age for a Swiss Army Knife?

My 11-year-old son watched a documentary on the Swiss Army Knife and is enamored with getting one for Christmas. We are in the UK regulatory sphere. He proposes to use the knife on camping ...
5 votes
2 answers
592 views

Topics for kids for moving in with girlfriend and kids [closed]

I'm somewhat of a shy guy, more precisely though I just don't know what to talk about. My problem is that I've moved in with my girlfriend, and she has two kids, a girl aged 12 and a boy aged 14, and ...
11 votes
4 answers
103k views

How can I deal with my 12-year old son's rebellious behaviour?

My son is a very loving child and fun to be with usually....ever since he turned 12 he is suddenly the resident expert in the house on anything from how to drive a car to how become president. You ...
4 votes
1 answer
473 views

What to do about my adopted 11-year-old son's anger issues?

I have adopted my 11-year-old when he was a baby. He has the biggest heart, but is the most challenging: Parents all siblings - yells and pushes, pulls hair, throws things at them and squeezes their ...
50 votes
25 answers
77k views

Why does my daughter smile and start to laugh at me when I am noticeably really angry at her?

My daughter is 11 years old and has been diagnosed with high functioning austism along with sensory processing disorder. I am a single father and have raised her alone since she was two years old. We ...
2 votes
0 answers
125 views

How to help my pre-teen who is getting into trouble at school? [closed]

My daughter has just received a three day suspension from school. She is in seventh grade and this year has gotten progressively worse as time has gone on. I know that contributing factors are that ...
9 votes
2 answers
1k views

How can I discipline an angry 12-year-old without her hating me for it?

My 12-year-old daughter till recently had a good, friendly relationship with us (her parents) and was always happy to discuss anything that happens at school/activity classes and what's going on with ...
1 vote
1 answer
222 views

What to do about a 12-year-old boy who is shy outside but misbehaves at home?

I am mother of a 12-year-old boy. Compared with other children, his behavior is totally different. Behavior at home I think he behaves childishly. He talks loudly, screams and argues. He doesn't ...
13 votes
3 answers
957 views

What to do after my nephew showed a graphic video to my 9-year-old son?

My 12-year-old nephew "Bob" took my 9-year-old son aside and showed him a video of ISIS beheading a victim. I am just flabbergasted that Bob would do that. Interestingly Bob did not show the video to ...
2 votes
2 answers
356 views

How do I limit the time my neighbor's kids spend at my home?

My neighbor’s children (9, 10, 11 and 12 years old) frequently pop over to my house to play. They get permission from their parents and me. I love that we have young kids on our street, but they stay ...
2 votes
1 answer
409 views

Is there any research on the psychological impact of male children pushing same sex parent out of the bed?

This question is about the impact on the psyche of a boy/tween who sleeps in their parents bed and as time goes on the father moves out of the bed. Certain things that may be of importance are: ...
6 votes
2 answers
427 views

Mathematics concepts for older children and teens

I have previously asked the question teaching mathematics to young children about reliance on aids, but now I face this issue with the students I tutor. Seeing as many parents I know have also ...