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Questions tagged [motivation]

For all questions pertaining to motivation, like motivating children to do something (e. g. chores, homework, learning) or dealing with a child's lack of motivation.

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41 votes
8 answers
12k views

How can we motivate a young adult without breaking the family?

Background One of my children is in her early 20's and deeply stuck. She has finished high school during the first COVID-19 lockdown, has then had a short stint at living alone and studying (aborted ...
AnoE's user avatar
  • 2,800
39 votes
12 answers
10k views

How to help my son improve without being discouraging?

I am building and painting miniatures, and have been doing so for many years. My son is showing more and more interest in building and painting them with me, which is great. I let him build a ...
Lucas F.'s user avatar
  • 501
22 votes
11 answers
10k views

How can I motivate my 16 yo daughter to do something valuable with her life?

I have a 16 year old daughter who, whenever she has free time wastes it on things that I think are futile like Facebook, Tumblr, etc. She's also performing poorly at school. I've talked to her about ...
Red Banana's user avatar
20 votes
7 answers
56k views

How can I motivate my child who doesn't care about rewards?

My son is 8 and has always been argumentative and basically lazy with doing ANYTHING since he could talk. If he has homework that takes ten minutes, he will take two hours due to just leaving the ...
Cara's user avatar
  • 201
17 votes
4 answers
30k views

How to motivate my extremely lazy 12-year-old?

My 12-year-old son is a good kid, but he is extremely unmotivated to do literally anything unless I or his mother are constantly riding him the whole time. As a young child, he was "easy" to raise ...
Wes Sayeed's user avatar
13 votes
7 answers
13k views

How to inspire a 7 year old to accelerate reading efforts?

I have a seven year old son who is having a hard time "getting inspired" to read regularly. This is somewhat of a struggle for me as his older brother was reading Harry Potter at around his age and ...
ylluminate's user avatar
12 votes
5 answers
2k views

How to escape vicious circle of dawdling - no outdoor activities - conflicts ...?

I'm very frustrated at this moment. I have 2 sweet sons (7 and 2 years old), and especially now during the winter holidays (we're all at home together, no school/kindergarden) we could do a lot of ...
BBM's user avatar
  • 4,118
12 votes
7 answers
7k views

How do I motivate my 8-year-old to practice the piano regularly?

I end up offering TV time as a reward but he complains so much while practicing, tracks time by calling out every 2 minutes, and practices without respecting the piano or the music (bangs it out). He ...
makmom's user avatar
  • 349
12 votes
8 answers
23k views

How can I encourage my 5-year-old to learn to swim?

My son is five years old and simply does not want to learn to swim. We've had him in swimming lessons, but he won't go in the water and if put in the water will not make any effort to swim. He is ...
philosodad's user avatar
  • 4,714
11 votes
5 answers
888 views

Should I intentionally lose a game to make my daughter happy?

My daughter is very clever at playing chess. At 5 years of age, she could win against her mother and grandparents, but still couldn't beat me. She kept playing with me and tried to win, but always ...
Clock ZHONG's user avatar
11 votes
3 answers
2k views

How do I motivate my ten-year old to take responsibility and to do his best?

I worry that my ten-year old son is developing (has developed) a mindset that will come back to bite him as he gets older. He is a very bright and active kid, but does not like to extend himself and ...
joblial's user avatar
  • 113
10 votes
8 answers
5k views

How do I convince my eleven-year-old to practice her dancing?

My eleven-year-old daughter who has been in dance classes since she was four. She loves ballet, and she loves to perform. However, she does not care for the stretching and practicing that are part ...
Buzz's user avatar
  • 1,625
10 votes
5 answers
1k views

How to motivate yourself to read stories to a kid whom you know cannot understand and respond accordingly?

From: How to read an English story book to the kid when we don't talk in English at home? If you start immediately, it won't matter what language you're speaking; either way it will be babble :)...
Aquarius_Girl's user avatar
10 votes
3 answers
992 views

How do I get my 5 year old to be more appreciative and thankful for what she has?

Lately, my 5 year old daughter keeps focusing on things she doesn't have (some game that her friend has or some doll that she saw on a commercial that she "needs") and although she has plenty of dolls ...
leora's user avatar
  • 931
10 votes
3 answers
1k views

I can't motivate my 13 year old twins to get school work turned in

We have tried grounding them, taking all their privledges away, we have tried reward systems and nothing works. They have started lying about getting the work done and turned in when they know we ...
Vhuber's user avatar
  • 101
9 votes
6 answers
1k views

My 17-year-old daughter gets excellent grades but shows little interest in socializing or getting a job

My 17-year-old does outstanding academic work in high school. She ranks #3 or #4 out of 160 students. She sings in school and church choirs and has taken part in game-show type activities at the ...
Carsten1's user avatar
9 votes
3 answers
6k views

How can I motivate a 13-year-old girl to take better care of her appearance?

Unlike most of the teenagers, my 13-year-old niece doesn't care about her appearance at all. She does what is necessary hygiene - shover, teeth brushing - but not a bit more. She wears sweatpants and/...
Vivien Anett Takács's user avatar
9 votes
4 answers
3k views

How to persuade lazy-to-think kids to learn mathematics?

I am teaching mathematics for kids. Some of them are so lazy in thinking. They often answer my questions without thinking. And some of them also early decide that they will be artists, dancers, ...
kiss my armpit's user avatar
9 votes
3 answers
846 views

How to get children to participate in housework without using reward/punishment

This is sort of an exploratory question, as I haven't really been confronted with the issue (yet). I've been looking around for ways to get kids to do chores. I'm a bit put off by the fact that ...
Kricket's user avatar
  • 1,490
9 votes
4 answers
3k views

My kid slops through her chores or takes forever to do it. I've tried everything

My 10-year-old daughter has a problem with doing her chores correctly in a timely manner. For instance, she's famous for taking 3 hours to wash the dishes. She wants to go outside and play or get on ...
Rizzet's user avatar
  • 91
9 votes
2 answers
229 views

How can I help my high schooler find his motivation again?

My youngest is a junior in high school (in the US) this year and has been struggling with motivation and staying on top of his work. He graduated from 8th grade during the 2020 COVID-19 lockdown and ...
Mark Biek's user avatar
  • 191
8 votes
6 answers
16k views

Should we make a 13-year-old without any interests/hobbies do something?

My 13-year-old daughter has absolutely no interests or hobbies and never had. When she was younger we tried to force her to do some sport but she constantly refused and cried whenever it came up. We ...
Dani's user avatar
  • 89
7 votes
6 answers
361 views

How do I motivate a primary schooler to practice musical instrument?

There is a question for an 8 year old, however for a younger child it might be different. My child can not get through all the excercises and after 3 minutes walks away from the piano. Should I bribe ...
user12363's user avatar
  • 265
6 votes
3 answers
280 views

How do I get my primary-schooler to love learning?

I do not know what to do anymore with my 6 year old daughter's lack of appetite for learning. She does not like to read anything. She would learn all the sight words and forget most of them, or can'...
j.r.m's user avatar
  • 61
6 votes
2 answers
676 views

My 14-year-old is refusing to attend any schooling, even online

I have a 14-year-old daughter who has suffered from mental health issues since puberty. She has been through 4 middle schools and several residential behavior programs. I got her enrolled in an online ...
Monty's user avatar
  • 61
6 votes
3 answers
624 views

Adult son living at home what to do

I am a single mom and my son is 30 and living at home. He does not pay rent. He has a bad case of social anxiety and lack of motivation. Unfortunatly his dad was a narcissist and emotionally ...
pi a's user avatar
  • 237
5 votes
2 answers
655 views

How to make 11 years old kid do homework

I have an 11 years old daughter who goes to a fairly "laid back" school - in particular they didn't use to have homework regularly. Occasionally she brought back some exercises that she did ...
My Full Name's user avatar
5 votes
2 answers
3k views

My teenager doesn't care about being grounded - what now?

My kid refuses to do his homework and is failing freshman biology, literature, US History and Art in high school. I grounded him and he still won't do the work. I've taken away as many privileges as ...
balanced mama's user avatar
5 votes
2 answers
433 views

Should I allow my child to drop an activity just because he’s lost interest?

We encourage our 7 y/o child with adhd to experience different activities that interest him and also help him with social skills. He is impulsive and is eager to participate but loses interest quickly ...
Nancy's user avatar
  • 51
4 votes
3 answers
724 views

What to do with a disinterested 12-year-old boy?

My 12-year-old grandson does not have any interests other than video games. He can be a good student, but he does not turn in work and always complains about not having friends and nobody liking him. ...
Grammy's user avatar
  • 41
4 votes
5 answers
506 views

How do I help children who think they don't need to know math, still learn math and have fun doing it?

I am teaching mathematics for students from elementary school to senior high school. I advise the students to learn mathematics (as the language of nature) as well as English (as the international ...
kiss my armpit's user avatar
4 votes
3 answers
553 views

How to make my 18-year-old son get a job while in college?

My 18-year-old son has just entered college as a freshman. He has a workstudy as part of his scholarship and he has been hesitant following up on job leads. Beyond baby sitting a few kids in our ...
Oyiwaa Noela's user avatar
4 votes
2 answers
1k views

How can I show my appreciation for my wife?

I have 3.5 month healthy baby girl and my wife and I seem to manage very well. I do not rely on other people and I am quite aware what others are able to do and how much effort goes into something. My ...
Margus's user avatar
  • 195
4 votes
7 answers
236 views

How do I inspire creativity for my child?

My 7-year-old son loves Lego and video games. He plays Minecraft on his tablet all the time, building various things, but apparently nearly everything he made was something he replicated from a ...
xwind's user avatar
  • 41
4 votes
1 answer
360 views

What do I do to get my daughter interested in presenting her science experiments at the science competition(fair)?

In my state we get the primary school aged kids (8-12) to enter a State Science competition. (In other states and countries - the equivalent may be a school science fair.) My daughter (9) has some ...
hawkeye's user avatar
  • 2,233
4 votes
1 answer
2k views

Need suggestions on how to deal with my 11yo in school

This turned out way longer than I intended, please try to bulldoze thru it. My oldest daughter is 11. She's the middle of 5 (21 19 11 9 7). Her older bros are in 'college' (they're taking classes). ...
monsto's user avatar
  • 5,513
4 votes
1 answer
136 views

How do I motivate my 6 year old son to practise speech therapy at home?

My six-year-old son needs speech therapy. The diagnosis is firstly a myofunctional disorder with a lack of lip closure, impaired orofacial sensitivity and coordination, non-physiological tongue rest ...
MySonsDad's user avatar
3 votes
4 answers
370 views

What are some great techniques for encouraging a reluctant reader?

My seven-year-old nephew is such a reluctant reader that despite the many teacherly suggestions I have been able to offer his mom and a lot of work with his own teachers he still just won't read. She ...
balanced mama's user avatar
3 votes
2 answers
4k views

My 9 months baby doesn't like to move, what should I do?

My son is 9 months old. He cannot sit up by himself when lying down, nor can he lie down from sitting. He cannot crawl, and didn't even show any intention to move his body. If he can't reach what ...
buck's user avatar
  • 81
3 votes
1 answer
1k views

How to encourage our 6-month-old baby to play on his own?

My baby is 6 month old (8.4 kg). He has a fancy play gym with plenty of lots of toys. We also have plenty of books to read to him. We make him play with our dog (poor doggy!). He also loves playing ...
Remi.b's user avatar
  • 567
3 votes
1 answer
282 views

How to help a child not be afraid to struggle with things that are easy for her older brother?

We started homeschooling this year, and my four year-old daughter has been comparing herself to her six year-old brother, then acting afraid to do anything when she doesn't measure up. For example, ...
Karl Bielefeldt's user avatar
3 votes
2 answers
254 views

How to make my 3.5-year-old learn at home?

My 3.5-year-old recently started school. He never shows willingness to learn anything from me, never colours with me or does tracing or learns poems. I just take down everything needed and sit with ...
Zayynab's user avatar
  • 67
2 votes
4 answers
1k views

When to give up learning an instrument with a 6-year-old?

My daughter has been practising the violin with the Suzuki method since she was 3.5 years old and she is now 6 (so 2.5 years practising). However she's never really wanted to. She has struggled ...
icc97's user avatar
  • 178
2 votes
2 answers
161 views

Force 9-year old to finish what he started?

A few months ago, I subscribed my 9 year old son to a code learning platform for kids, to try to give him a taste for logic and technology. During that same period, he asked me for a game console. I ...
Nathan H's user avatar
  • 193
2 votes
3 answers
325 views

How to encourage a child to learn a distant language and culture?

I want to motivate a child of High school age to learn a new language from far away like Japanese and learn about other cultures and civilisations like - Zen and ancient Japanese culture, for example. ...
vic2's user avatar
  • 23
2 votes
1 answer
238 views

What do you do when a kid finds every excuse imaginable to avoid doing homework and chores? [duplicate]

Our kid spends so much time avoiding homework and chores, that it is time for bed before either thing is finished. My wife and I find ourselves standing over her and spending all our time refocusing ...
Dadwhobleedsblue's user avatar
2 votes
1 answer
204 views

How handle a 5 year old who delays going to the toilet and soils his pants?

My 5 year old son goes to kindergarten. When it's toilet time he is the show-off. He was toilet trained but now delays going to the toilet for play or TV watching. He once said monsters are there so ...
user2617804's user avatar
2 votes
3 answers
927 views

How to help a 20-year old with interest but lack of motivation for school?

(This is actually my problem, but I ask it from the perspective of my parents.) I'm a 20-year old in second year of undergraduation in Computer Science (I wasted the first year though due to alcohol ...
CcVHKakalLLOOPPOkKkkKk's user avatar
2 votes
1 answer
297 views

How to motivate a 3.5-year-old to use the potty when she knows how to, but is strongly opposed to it?

My god daughter is about 3.5 years old. She has demonstrated she is aware of when she needs to pee/poop and if naked will ask for a pullup to be put on just so she can use it. I believe if she ...
dsollen's user avatar
  • 3,904
2 votes
2 answers
144 views

How to find fitting sports to introduce one’s kid to?

Different sports afford different body types, in team sports even a particular position may favor certain physical properties in a player. Much of this does not develop before puberty hits of course, ...
Crissov's user avatar
  • 211