Questions tagged [independence]

When a child can do something on their own, without help.

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How can I help my 5yo feel more in control of her life

I have an extremely smart, extremely independent 5 year old daughter. She's turning 6 in a couple of months. This year in particular, starting her reception year at school, she has a lot less free ...
stan's user avatar
  • 2,278
26 votes
4 answers
5k views

"I want to do that on my own" - how to improve situation if they don't actually *do* it?

My 14 year-old is deep in that phase where it becomes ever more important to do stuff on their own. To get this out first: I am exceedingly happy about that - my goal in life is to make my children as ...
AnoE's user avatar
  • 2,810
2 votes
0 answers
255 views

How do I cope with no friends, freedom or internet access? [closed]

I'm 15 and living in care. School laptops are my lifeline but many social media websites, even ones like Reddit and Pinterest, are blocked. At home the only things I can do to pass time in my bedroom ...
Fredrik's user avatar
  • 29
4 votes
5 answers
498 views

How do we help 2 yo play independently when we’re busy?

My wife and I have a 2 year old boy. He's very attached to my wife / his mom. He's typically happy to play on his own, as long as we're nearby. But if we go into the kitchen (next room over) to cook, ...
Craig's user avatar
  • 187
8 votes
6 answers
2k views

How can I live like a normal teenager with my super strict parents?

I am 16 and a junior in high school. I have an older sister who is 22 and live with both of my parents. My parents are super strict compared to my friends' parents. They are very religious, which I ...
dia's user avatar
  • 89
1 vote
1 answer
350 views

How can I make my 6-year-old daughter zip her jacket up?

I am a father of a 6-year-old daughter. She comes out of school with her jacket wide open, even on wet rainy days. She knows how to zip her jacket and can do it very competently. It's just that she is ...
Scottish Timothy 's user avatar
1 vote
3 answers
1k views

How to deal with teen self-destructive behavior and complete lack of sense of responsibility?

A 18-year-old who is in the final year of high school is exhibiting certain patterns of behavior that seem very troubling. He is currently doing well in school, but I'm afraid that these patterns of ...
user avatar
1 vote
2 answers
234 views

How to teach my almost 7-month-old to play on his own without getting angry?

My boy will be 7 months old at the end of November. In the last couple of weeks I’m noticing he gets angry when he’s not constantly entertained. I want to start to teach him to learn to play on his ...
Tara Golliher's user avatar
3 votes
2 answers
443 views

My 11-year-old daughter still asks me to zip her jacket

My daughter is now 11 years old, but still asks me to zip her jacket. This really worries me because she can do it herself and is otherwise independent. She even asks me when her friends are around. ...
Scottish Caitlyn's user avatar
4 votes
2 answers
299 views

How to engage my 4-year-old daughter to do something by her own?

My daughter is 4 years old. She wants to keep playing all the time and in her way only. She avoids to play cricket, basketball, or puzzles where you can lose or you need to think in order to win. She ...
Amit Kumar Gupta's user avatar
9 votes
6 answers
1k views

My 17-year-old daughter gets excellent grades but shows little interest in socializing or getting a job

My 17-year-old does outstanding academic work in high school. She ranks #3 or #4 out of 160 students. She sings in school and church choirs and has taken part in game-show type activities at the ...
Carsten1's user avatar
1 vote
1 answer
171 views

11MO Independence

My 11 month old son can be rather independent and want "alone time" quite frequently. I am all for this as he happily plays in the room whilst I do my work or whatever task I am doing. My concern is ...
DankyNanky's user avatar
5 votes
3 answers
690 views

How do I get my parents to let me vacation by myself?

I'm planning to take a vacation next month. Since I started planning for it, my parents have continually expressed doubt and concern and generally interfered in the plans. They want to know where and ...
Bytewave's user avatar
12 votes
2 answers
3k views

How should I teach my child to help but also do things on her own?

The other day I asked my child "Can you give me a napkin?" and she said "o self" which means "you do it yourself"! At first I was shocked, and ashamed that she has perhaps learned it from me and my ...
Honey's user avatar
  • 893
3 votes
2 answers
748 views

How can I help my mother realize her harmful behavior towards my brother?

My 20-year-old brother has some bahavioral problems which cause significant stress to me and my parents. He is short tempered and can not take suggestions even when politely expressed. He turns ...
psuedo's user avatar
  • 33
2 votes
2 answers
568 views

Is it save for my 13-year-old daughter to bike to school alone? [duplicate]

My 13-year-old daughter wants to bike to school alone two times a week for band. It's about a 10 minute bike ride with crossing four roads. My husband is scared, but she is very mature and can bike ...
Clementine Lunar's user avatar
10 votes
2 answers
3k views

How to get my child to play alone?

Our 3 year old daughter doesn't want to play alone. Every hour of the day she wants someone to interact with her. It doesn't have to be games, she also likes to help in the kitchen and other ...
Chris's user avatar
  • 203
1 vote
1 answer
889 views

What to do about my 2-year-old crying out loud at the noise made from a toy and is it too early to teach him to be independent?

I have a son who is 2 years and 4 months old, and a 4-month-old infant. It came to our attention that the toddler was scared of the sound from a toy, such as an electronic toy car beeping or flashing ...
J.E.Y's user avatar
  • 277
4 votes
3 answers
547 views

How to make my 18-year-old son get a job while in college?

My 18-year-old son has just entered college as a freshman. He has a workstudy as part of his scholarship and he has been hesitant following up on job leads. Beyond baby sitting a few kids in our ...
Oyiwaa Noela's user avatar
5 votes
2 answers
331 views

How to console a baby who prefers to cry alone?

I might be over worrying this issue but I have realized whenever anything say like he hurts himself- not bad just during playtime and he starts crying, instead of coming to me for comfort or ...
user avatar
2 votes
2 answers
244 views

When do the sense of independence kick in, in toddler's?

I don't know if babies should start having a sense of independence this early (unless if I'm confusing it with being stubborn ), my boy 17 months now; doesn't want to be assisted when he gets stuck in ...
user avatar
1 vote
2 answers
2k views

How do I get my 7 year old to learn their spelling words independently?

My child's school has a spelling words practice method called "look, cover, say, write see" - which is a list of words the kids say, sound out and practice their spelling with each day. The test ...
hawkeye's user avatar
  • 2,243
1 vote
1 answer
12k views

Should middle school students/high school students be able to choose their own bedtime? [duplicate]

Sleeping is important, but do students have the right to choose when they do so? Or should they let their parents decide the bedtime? Students above the age 12 need over 8 hours of sleep. It's ...
Alex's user avatar
  • 11
14 votes
3 answers
357 views

Staying focused getting ready for school

We have three kids (a 9, 4 and 3 year old) and our middle child is severely disabled. My wife has some commuting challenges in the morning and thus has limited availability at the critical time and ...
Shane's user avatar
  • 318
6 votes
2 answers
695 views

Want to be Fair / Equal but Still Realistic with Bedwetting Pre-Teens and Social Issues

I have two step-kids. Boy age 11, girl age 10. They both have bladder issues where they still wet their beds almost every night. The boy is a fairly gregarious outgoing personality who doesn't really ...
randomblink's user avatar
-1 votes
2 answers
3k views

When are kids old enough to have a horse

So I am thinking about getting this kid a horse. But I am not sure if they are really ready to have a horse and ride it. He talks sometimes that he wants a horse and I can get him a horse, but when ...
Kári Gunnarsson's user avatar
2 votes
4 answers
646 views

What is the reasoning behind encouraging your child not to be a 'tattle-tale'?

I heard a friend say: I encourage my child not to be a tattle tale - but encourage them to work the situation out for themselves Several other parents in the context nodded agreement. I had ...
hawkeye's user avatar
  • 2,243
17 votes
8 answers
83k views

At what age should you allow your kids to go out alone?

Whether its to visit a friend who lives a few streets away, or going to the park by themselves, or going to the local shop, at what age do you allow your kids to go out by themselves? And what rules ...
GBH's user avatar
  • 371
16 votes
7 answers
4k views

When to teach children to use search engines?

I want to teach my kids how to use search engines as soon as they start asking questions. I think it's a good way for them to learn everything they want and to know that they are capable of knowing ...
Micha Sprengers's user avatar
9 votes
2 answers
1k views

How can I help my son be more independent with his homework?

I'm concerned because my son didn't do the work he's given from school. The work is tough but I think the problem might only be in one of his classes. I pushed him today to do the homework he's ...
Millie's user avatar
  • 99
5 votes
2 answers
172 views

Encouraging independence

My seven year-old son is highly dependent on us to tell him what to do. We had thought it was an age thing, but his little sister already grew out of it. How can we help him be more independent? An ...
Karl Bielefeldt's user avatar
4 votes
4 answers
405 views

What factors should I consider when deciding to let children fly unaccompanied?

Some family members have invited my two older kids to visit for a week next summer. The plan is that the children would fly there, and then we (and the youngest sibling) would drive up a week later to ...
Acire's user avatar
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17 votes
2 answers
5k views

Help - taken legal guardianship of 16 yr old sister who is moving in but already staying over with boys etc

She's getting in very deep very quickly with a boy who has been in social care a fair bit over his life and has anger management issues, she's not even fully part of our household yet. Please help (...
user avatar
13 votes
2 answers
10k views

How to make my parents stop interfering with my life in every way?

I am 21 years old and came to my home country, Azerbaijan, after studying in the US. I have changed my beliefs and built my own set of rules to live my life. The life brought me a phase where I had to ...
anonymous's user avatar
  • 131
7 votes
3 answers
1k views

My 9 year feels I publicly embarrass him

I understand my 9 year old is at the age where children are beginning to assert their independence and are about to begin cutting the apron strings. From my experience with his big brother, I ...
Ruby's user avatar
  • 173
4 votes
4 answers
2k views

The rules at a friend's house are a lot more lax than at mine - how do I enforce basic safety?

A couple of kids recently moved into the neighborhood and they are great kids that my daughter is having a really good time with. Rules at their house are pretty lax - they can go all over the ...
balanced mama's user avatar
11 votes
3 answers
8k views

Encouraging my 2-year-old to play independently

My little boy is 2½, and has never been very good at playing by himself. When we take him to play-groups he won't ever go more than a few feet away from us at any time; At a party last week, he ...
Urbycoz's user avatar
  • 2,213
17 votes
6 answers
2k views

At what age or developmental milestones is it safe to leave children unattended?

I'm curious what kind of criteria others are using to decide when a child can be left at home unattended for a period of time. I realize that the answer is going to depend on a few factors: The child'...
afrazier's user avatar
  • 2,904
14 votes
6 answers
900 views

How can I help my child learn to learn better?

I'm looking for strategies to improve my child's learning skills. I want my child to be a life-long learner -- to pick up new things easily, and to learn even when not being given formal instruction (...
blunders's user avatar
  • 637
5 votes
3 answers
1k views

How can a much older brother gain recognition for being a de-facto father?

I'm 26 years old and live with my mother who is a single mother. She adopted two children as newborns who are now 5 years old. My mom has recently started working outside the home so now I even get ...
anonymous's user avatar
6 votes
2 answers
543 views

What are guidelines for parents to use in giving advice/guidance to older teens?

My friend asked me for guidance regarding her son, so I am passing the question on. Her very talented son is a senior in high school. Since it is his last year at home, he feels that he no longer ...
Marie  Hendrix's user avatar
12 votes
6 answers
43k views

Is (supervised) play time alone beneficial for an infant/toddler?

My son (currently 8 months old) is quite content to sit by himself and play with toys (blocks, toy cars, etc.). We make sure that he spends time interacting with other children, and we also make sure ...
user avatar
17 votes
3 answers
737 views

How do you teach a child to call for help?

We have a relatively large house. Our kids are always in earshot, but not usually in sight. The problem with this is our 4 year-old son doesn't know how to call out for help appropriately. On the ...
Karl Bielefeldt's user avatar
7 votes
1 answer
210 views

How closely should a parent be tied to their child's education?

I know that some kids are relatively self-motivated; I want to be supportive without smothering such a child. I know that some kids have very little motivation; I want to be able to encourage such a ...
somehume's user avatar
  • 393
13 votes
4 answers
11k views

When should kids be allowed to walk/bike to school alone?

My 9-year-old is asking to bike to school without adults. He is generally responsible. So far I have said he needs to find a friend to go with him. What can children do to convince their parents ...
nGinius's user avatar
  • 6,449
9 votes
2 answers
469 views

When should a child be allowed to use public transit on their own?

When did you consider your child(ren) old/mature enough to use public transit? How did you go about making the decision about permitting this type of freedom?
blueberryfields's user avatar
11 votes
4 answers
2k views

When do you encourage your children to move out?

I recently met a guy, age 40, still living with his parents. In the gossip circuit this was considered inappropriate. But is it really? And if so, when does sharing a household with your grownup ...
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