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Questions tagged [grandparents]

Questions related to the role of grandparents in a child's development.

2
votes
1answer
100 views

How to break defiant cycle with time out?

My goddaughter is barely 3 years old and I visit and babysit her often, and have her mother's full permission to use time outs when I feel they are appropriate. She is usually pretty well behaved, ...
1
vote
2answers
231 views

Father now, earlier nursery versus grandparents now, later nursery?

Our son is 14 months old. Both the mother and I have in the last month entered full time education (I was in full time employment, she was on maternity leave). We are lucky to have my wife's parents ...
3
votes
2answers
611 views

Daughter is deciding to have a child with near-total stranger

I have a daughter who has made many, many bad choices in her life. At 26, she has already been in several failed relationships, got addicted to heroin, recovered (6 years now), moved in with a guy ...
0
votes
1answer
229 views

How can I ask my parents to help us by watching the grandkids on occasion?

Background I am a happily married mother of two, ages 3 and 4 respectively. My parents are in good health, mom is 62 and dad just turned 70. They have a good marriage and my mother lives in a house, ...
2
votes
2answers
191 views

4-year-old going on holiday without parents

My son is 4 and a half, and is going on holiday with his grandparents and 6-year-old niece. I'm a bit apprehensive about him being without us, his parents, for 8 days so I decided to fly over for just ...
1
vote
4answers
224 views

How to remove electronics and shift sleep schedule of 6-year old?

I started taking care of my grandchild when she was still 7 months old. During her first day to 6 months old she was with her father and my daughter. Sadly, their relationship didn't last. Right now, ...
31
votes
8answers
13k views

Too many presents from Grandma - is this bad for my child?

I think that having a lot of things for your baby or kid like lots of toys or other distractions (iPad, presents, bad food with sugar) is not a good thing. This could create a behavior of only doing ...
6
votes
2answers
524 views

My son calls my father in law Grandpa “nonno” (in italian) and his wife (step grandma) is telling my son to call him just Grandpa now not nonno

My son has always called his grandma (my mother-in-law) the Italian word for grandma, "nonna" and his grandpa "nonno", the Italian word for grandpa. Recently my son called his grandpa "nonno" in front ...
0
votes
1answer
145 views

What should our kids call grandpa's new wife? [duplicate]

Kids are 17 and 12. Mom/grandma passed away a few year ago, and grandpa immediately married his new wife. There is a long story there. Dad/grandpa wants us to treat her as if she were grandma, but ...
13
votes
4answers
510 views

Should I give my son a christmas card from my mother, with whom we deliberately have no contact?

Today, a christmas card came through the post addressed to my 7 year old son. I recognised the handwriting as my mothers. I am reluctant to give my son this card and am unsure on the best course of ...
14
votes
3answers
3k views

How do we convince parents that we can't all be there within one week of the holiday every year?

Here is the dilemma. My wife, my brother, my five-year-old son, and I live about five hours from my parents, about four hours from my father-in-law and his SO, and about an hour from my mother-in-law. ...
2
votes
4answers
649 views

How to handle 5-year-old granddaughter shouting “Get out” (of her room)?

If you walk into our 5-year-old granddaughter's room while she is playing with her dolls, she will tell you "I want time alone" and if you do not leave within several seconds she will look at you in a ...
5
votes
2answers
291 views

How to explain grandparent estrangement for 4 year old?

I've cut contact with my mother because it's a toxic relationship. My daughter barely remembers her, but is now starting to ask me questions about "mommy's mom." I think I may have made a mistake by ...
87
votes
6answers
22k views

Grandparents want our three year old daughter to throw tantrums like her cousin did

When my nephew was a toddler/pre-schooler, he had major separation anxiety issues and tantrums. Specifically, whenever his grandparents or we (his aunt and uncle) visited him, he'd never let us leave ...
44
votes
10answers
16k views

Grandparents mistreating my children

Seeing the other questions about grandparents, this seems to be quite the exception. My wife went to visit my parents for two weeks and I couldn't go because I have to work. I thought it would be ...
2
votes
3answers
459 views

Has bending the rules with my mother in law caused this issue?

This is a little hard to explain, so if you need clarity I can try. My mother in law visits a few times a year for a week each time. My kids are the only grandchildren she will ever have. She is ...
35
votes
4answers
10k views

I don't want to be an involved grandparent. How do I let my son know?

I know I'm in a small minority when I say I'm NOT excited to be a grandparent. I've never really liked children, and used to be determined against having any of my own. But mainly because my husband ...
5
votes
4answers
286 views

Vacationing with Grandparents

My wife and I sometimes get offers from her parents or mine to take our family on vacation (examples: a cruise, or summer family camp). We have two kids, 10 and 8. The issue is that our parents tend ...
10
votes
5answers
1k views

Should I babysit my step granddaughter?

I have been married for over 20 years and have been a stepparent for all of these years since my stepdaughter was just 3 years old. My husband's ex-wife despises my husband and myself and has always ...
6
votes
1answer
466 views

How to approach my adult son and his ex wife about my son's likely fatherhood of her baby when both deny it?

My 21-year-old son is newly divorced. He and his former wife hate each other a lot. Recently, his ex wife started posting pictures on social media of her baby boy just born in November. Which would ...
-2
votes
1answer
239 views

Culture differences [closed]

I am looking here for some opinions, if you think what I did was OK or not in your country/culture. We have a baby (4 month old) that has trouble sleeping (very light sleeper). We are trying to put ...
6
votes
3answers
717 views

Can living with my father be a detriment to my ability to parent and be a father figure for my own children?

My parents are very from an Asian culture where family is very important and parents are always meant to be close and respected. That is why when I got married they insisted that my wife and I come ...
10
votes
3answers
687 views

Should a 6 year old's grandmother be kept away if she is abusive to her father?

My daughter loves her grandma and the feeling is mutual. But on occasion when my mom comes to visit, she loses her temper and she starts yelling at me. Sometimes my daughter overhears this despite my ...
0
votes
0answers
55 views

What to do about my 2-year-old grandson's long lasting tantrums? [duplicate]

My 2-year-old grandson has extreme tantrums, scratching, biting himself. While in his carseat, he will gauge his legs until they bleed. If he has pants on, he will scratch and dig in his mouth until ...
8
votes
2answers
251 views

Kids in multicultural, multi-generational household

My wife is Chinese and I am an American guy. We live in the US and have a 4.5 y/o and 18 m/o. My wife's parents, in very traditional Chinese fashion (I guess it's common among many Asian cultures), ...
4
votes
2answers
412 views

What to do about 6.5-year-old grandson out of control?

About 1 1/2 years ago my grandson started acting out. It has now become so bad and we need to get him under control. First off I will say that my grandson lives with his mother as his mother and ...
42
votes
10answers
10k views

Is it possible to spoil a child, but still teach them not to behave spoiled?

My 9-year-old stepson has terrible tantrums. I was abused as a child and used to act out as a result. Teachers and other adults were very hostile to me and failed to recognize my cries for help. So ...
3
votes
1answer
681 views

How to stop grandparents from acting overprotective?

I have been living with my wife's family for a while both before and after the birth of my kid, and my mother-in-law feels like she is right about everything. My wife is also a way of nagging what ...
3
votes
1answer
468 views

What names can a father-in-law use w former daughter-in-law after a divorce

I am planning for the future time (hopefully this year) when a nasty divorce that involves a child (my grandchild) is finalized. Over the past 5 years, my relationship with my daughter-in-law has ...
6
votes
4answers
740 views

Should I be expected to love my new step-granddaughter instantly?

My son has been living with his girlfriend for 4 years. He has an 11-year-old daughter and his girlfriend also has an 11-year-old daughter. They live in another state and do not come to see me. My ...
4
votes
2answers
667 views

Step Parent - To be concerned or not to be

Brief history: Became involved with a young woman, knowing she had a 5 year old daughter. Biological dad was in the picture til daughter was 2-3, and then left the state. Strangled mother while ...
9
votes
3answers
2k views

How do I make my son listen to my discipline, not my mother-in-law?

I have a 6 year old and was a single mum for 4 years. I raised him and disciplined him to the point where he is very very sociable and everybody thinks he is one of the most well behaved boys they ...
7
votes
4answers
3k views

Extended family not catering for baby's routine

We have a 15 month old child. He is the only sub 10 year-old in my side of the family. I recently got into a dispute with family, as they wanted us to arrive for a family occasion at a specific time, ...
5
votes
3answers
387 views

Getting grandparents to accept parents' choices

I understand that what children are supposed to eat is a bone of contention between parents and grandparents in many families. However this is not the main point of my question. I would like to ...
5
votes
3answers
2k views

How do I get my father to stop making everything about him

My father is a very demanding person, to the point of being unreasonable a lot of the time IMO. But lately it has been getting worse and I feel like i just don't have the energy to deal with it ...
6
votes
1answer
2k views

Is it safe to take a baby under 6 months old to an old folks home?

I'm having an argument with a relative who believes that it is actually dangerous to take my child to see their great-grandmother who is living in the nursing section of an old folks home. She's not ...
48
votes
16answers
15k views

Should I stop my mother in law visiting when she doesn't respect me as the father figure?

Sadly these are her words, not mine. Why is this posted in this QA site? Because I can't see how it is good for the children that she (when my wife is not around) shouts at me in front of them; cuts ...
28
votes
7answers
5k views

How to explain to a 9-year-old why a relative is not welcome

Very soon my mother's brother will be released from prison. He is a pedophile. He was caught, plead guilty, etc etc...he is not someone I'd want around any child, certainly not my own. My mother, ...
15
votes
4answers
4k views

Parent's in law who can't be trusted to baby-sit want to - how do we figure this one out without hurting them?

My in-laws have tried to give our baby who is only just beginning to eat solid foods, candy, soda, and other adult foods because they think it is funny to "irritate daddy and mommy." My daughter has ...
2
votes
6answers
1k views

As a grandma what can I say if my daughter sits and watches her 4 year old hack at her hair

I find it very distressing to witness the disfiguring of my grandaughter while my daughter says it is ok for her to cut her own her hair, from beautiful long curly hair to a hacked haircut. What can I ...
44
votes
30answers
15k views

My pre-schooler is out of control, and I feel like my parents are undermining my relationship and authority with her

Alright, I guess a little back story would help. I am a single mother and an only child, I will be 21 in a few months. I've graduated high school with honors and have been raising my daughter on my ...
13
votes
4answers
623 views

What can be done to encourage grandparents to be equitable between siblings?

The short question is this. How can we as parents encourage our parents to be more equitable in their treatment of their grandchildren? As background here is my situation. When my wife and I got ...
21
votes
4answers
2k views

How to explain to your child why a grandparent isn't around

My parents divorced when I was 10 and that was the last time I had a relationship with my father. My father still lives close to me locally but he doesn't contact me, and if I see him in public I ...
12
votes
3answers
3k views

Grandparent put a diaper on my toilet trained child

I was out for 5 hours and my mom put a pull-up on my 25 month old daughter who refused diapers at 19 months. She never used a pull-up before though she has 2 cloth trainers that are thick but they ...
15
votes
6answers
6k views

Mother in law making us feel guilty about money

We have a mother in law who always makes uncomfortable comments about things we've purchased, such as our TV. We're a single income family with two children living in an apartment. We have no debt ...
30
votes
5answers
6k views

How do you handle grandparents who spoil your children?

Our parents suddenly don't apply their rules in our upbringing to our children. On the contrary. How should we deal with this? Do we just let it be, or should we discuss the matter. I understand ...