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Questions tagged [extended-family]

For family extending the nuclear family and not covered by [grandparents] or [step-parents]. Can, for example, be used for nieces or nephews, mothers- or fathers-in-law, sisters- or brothers-in-law etc.

1
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2answers
147 views

How can I help my nieces who suffer under their mother's behavior?

My brother-in-law (let's call him Mark) has 3 kids but it turns out the mom (let's call her Alice) is not very "maternal". She is clearly bothered by the kids and tries in every way to avoid her ...
11
votes
11answers
10k views

How would I tell my Father-In-Law that he's being too lenient in disciplining my brother-in-law?

My wife and I are newlyweds, we married last December, and we're still trying to straighten out the paperwork for our new home. I've been staying with my wife in her family's home for couple of months....
2
votes
3answers
469 views

Has bending the rules with my mother in law caused this issue?

This is a little hard to explain, so if you need clarity I can try. My mother in law visits a few times a year for a week each time. My kids are the only grandchildren she will ever have. She is ...
4
votes
2answers
472 views

How would a child view a move based on materialism?

I am a husband who has been married for the last 9 years and have 3 daughters (7,3,1). Recently I told my wife that I want to move to another state because my new job lets me work remotely and the ...
3
votes
1answer
152 views

What is a good approach for asking friends in a sensitive situation to be legal guardians?

We've decided to ask two friends of ours to be the legal guardian of our child (i.e. godparents). They are currently struggling to conceive themselves, and we want to approach the question in a ...
4
votes
2answers
724 views

What advice can I give to a teen who wants to tell his dad uncomfortable truths?

My girlfriend's Teenage Boy (TB), 14, wants to talk to his dad about things he doesn't like about him, like smoking in the living room. He came to me for advice. Knowing his dad, who is a very ...
2
votes
1answer
309 views

how to deal with my sister

I have a sister 8 years younger than me (18) years old. My Mom and I have always tried to do the best for her and support her, however she is really rude to all my family members. She doesn't respect ...
3
votes
1answer
413 views

How do I get my 7 month old niece to trust me?

I am uncle of a 7 month old girl. She seems really happy when my mother / her grandma interacts with her. But when I interact with her (try to play with her or put her on my arm), she often becomes ...
9
votes
3answers
688 views

How do we address other adults telling my son to ask us to bring him to their house?

My sister-in-law has developed a habit both my wife and I find annoying: in order to try and get us to come to their house more often, she constantly pulls my son aside when they're leaving from a ...
9
votes
2answers
281 views

How do I join a well established community (a family with my GF and her two kids actually)?

My GF has two kids, she lives in a big suburb, a little bit out of nowhere in the country side and I used to live in a global city. I moved to get closer to her, hence now I'm living with her and the ...
4
votes
2answers
2k views

19 yr old niece lives with us and is upsetting family relations

My 19 yr old niece has come from overseas to study, and lives with us. I have two small sons, and my niece one minute loves them the next minute shuts them out. She has come from a not so loving ...
6
votes
4answers
751 views

Should I be expected to love my new step-granddaughter instantly?

My son has been living with his girlfriend for 4 years. He has an 11-year-old daughter and his girlfriend also has an 11-year-old daughter. They live in another state and do not come to see me. My ...
22
votes
2answers
197k views

What to do about the incestuous relationship between my daughter and her cousin?

I walked in on my daughter having sex with her cousin. They are both 14 years old. It happened in my sister's house in her double bed. I wasn't sure on how I should react but I told my sister and she ...
4
votes
2answers
330 views

Explaining death and dealing with mourning for a pre-schooler in an atheist family with religious extended family?

My grandmother, my 3.5 year old daughter's great-grandmother, is sadly very ill and could pass away at any time within the next few weeks. My daughter has yet to experience death (e.g. a pet dying) ...
8
votes
2answers
820 views

Dealing with overprotective parents - is there anything I can do?

I have been tutoring a child, and over the past months I have come to the conclusion that the parents allow the child to stop when things are getting hard. The child has from my view only little ...
1
vote
3answers
220 views

What can we do to get my cousin's 8-year-old to behave, instead of destroying things and blaming others?

My cousin's 8-year-old son seems to be one of the worst kids I know. We have tried so many different angles of punishment and tried to compromise... First to start with, he likes to get into things. ...
7
votes
4answers
3k views

Extended family not catering for baby's routine

We have a 15 month old child. He is the only sub 10 year-old in my side of the family. I recently got into a dispute with family, as they wanted us to arrive for a family occasion at a specific time, ...
24
votes
6answers
3k views

Explaining mental illness to children

We have a relative with some sort of undiagnosed mental illness who (among other symptoms) compulsively cleans everything regularly with fairly strong bleach. Her fear of germs and infection is the ...
1
vote
3answers
455 views

Frequency of visits of in-laws [closed]

This is mostly about my contacts to my in-laws rather than about my child (apologies if not the right forum). I have a fraught relationship with my brother-in-law and generally would try to avoid ...
30
votes
7answers
5k views

How to explain to a 9-year-old why a relative is not welcome

Very soon my mother's brother will be released from prison. He is a pedophile. He was caught, plead guilty, etc etc...he is not someone I'd want around any child, certainly not my own. My mother, ...
15
votes
4answers
795 views

How can we explain our “cry it out” strategy to people who oppose it?

My wife and I have had success with a form of the "cry it out" strategy with our three children. I know it's not for everyone, but our household has gotten into some healthy sleep patterns without ...
1
vote
1answer
2k views

How to handle an unethical relationship [closed]

I am a software engineer working in India. I live with my wife and younger brother who is preparing for management studies. Yesterday I dug into his computer and I was shocked when I found that he is ...
22
votes
11answers
60k views

What is a reasonable amount of time to wait before family visits your new baby?

My wife and I are preparing to negotiate with our families about visiting our first baby. We want to take some time to recover and feel like we have a comfortable routine before taking visitors. We ...
14
votes
2answers
1k views

When you don't think (grand)children are getting the care they need

My neigbor is now a grandmother of two little girls about whom she is very concerned. Relevant backstory: The grandmother/neighbor was an adict to multiple things while she raised the mother of the ...
6
votes
9answers
2k views

What should I do when my daughter's health is affected by the cats at my parents home when we visit?

My daughter is allergic to cats...and dogs...and eggs. We don't have any pets, but my parents do. We live about 250 miles away from my parents, but we do travel to see them about once a month. My ...
9
votes
4answers
2k views

What do you do with the cousins who, at birthday parties insist on opening the presents when they are not the guest of honor?

The girls insist on opening presents for their younger cousins and brother at birthday parties where the family is included. While this was acceptable when the younger cousins (and sibling) were too ...
11
votes
3answers
868 views

What do you do when a relative heaps presents on her children at Christmas and Your kid's pile always looks paltry in comparison?

One set of my daughter's cousins have GIGANTIC stockings, AND often get 3-4 major presents associated with St. Nick. We have modest stockings and give One TOY from St. Nick and ONE - Two presents ...
8
votes
5answers
2k views

How strict can I be with my niece?

I am a new Uncle and I sometimes find myself in the position that I should tell my niece off, yet I feel that it's not my place to do this. I would only raise my voice to her, but I feel this may ...