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Questions tagged [extended-family]

For family extending the nuclear family and not covered by [grandparents] or [step-parents]. Can, for example, be used for nieces or nephews, mothers- or fathers-in-law, sisters- or brothers-in-law etc.

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2 votes
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What to do as a cousin [closed]

So I have 2 female cousins who are 17 years old. That I have not seen in 5 years until last July. I use to take them to the park, I taught them how to swim, and I use to take them to trips and out ...
Tom's user avatar
  • 21
4 votes
2 answers
597 views

Partner’s family's use of shortened name for child upsets me

Almost a year ago our daughter was born and we named her Harriet. In the first week after my daughter was born my partner’s family came to visit and started calling her Harry. My partner and I had ...
ddraigcoch4's user avatar
43 votes
5 answers
15k views

How best for a trans/non-binary person to respond to their 6-year-old cousin asking if I'm a girl or a boy?

I have twin 6-year-old cousins (a boy and a girl) who I usually see about once a week or so, when the locally-resident segment of my family get together for dinner on Friday evenings. Yesterday, when ...
Vikki's user avatar
  • 559
1 vote
1 answer
314 views

How to teach a 7-year-old that things don't always go her way?

I've noticed that whenever things don't happen how she expects them to happen, my 7-year-old niece starts crying, runs away, or engages herself with another activity that she has more control over. ...
Yeb's user avatar
  • 11
1 vote
2 answers
458 views

How to make my 5-year-old niece understand that I try very hard to be honest with her and wouldn't lie, when she implies I do?

My 'honorary' niece is 5 years old. The other day I made a comment about how she was lucky to have a mommy who is always honest to her (referring to the fact that her mother was upfront and honest ...
dsollen's user avatar
  • 3,904
3 votes
1 answer
261 views

In which language to speak to third parties when following the OPOL approach?

I am a native english speaker settled in the Netherlands; I speak fluent (but not very grammatical) Dutch. I now have a granddaughter Rosie of two months and her mother (my step-daughter) has ...
NL_Derek's user avatar
  • 255
1 vote
1 answer
337 views

How to make my niece stop bothering my son because she is older?

My son is 3 years and 9 months old. I have a problem telling my 5-year-old niece that she is bothering my son. She's always telling him that she has something that he doesn't have, or knows swimming ...
Sabine's user avatar
  • 11
5 votes
2 answers
370 views

How to talk about a historic suicide in the family to young kids?

My brother took his own life in 2000 at age 23. My kids - 10-year-old girl, 8-year-old boy and 4-year-old girl - know that I had a brother and that he died, but I have not told them anything more than ...
nonpoliticaltag's user avatar
2 votes
2 answers
355 views

How can I help my nieces who suffer under their mother's behavior?

My brother-in-law (let's call him Mark) has 3 kids but it turns out the mom (let's call her Alice) is not very "maternal". She is clearly bothered by the kids and tries in every way to avoid her ...
algiogia's user avatar
  • 837
0 votes
2 answers
140 views

What to do about a 21-month-old girl who hits other little kids for no observable reason?

My 1-year-old daughter is babysat by my sister in law. Her cousin is 21 months old and hits, sits, kicks, pinches and pulls hair. Her mom calls her a bully and says she does it to all little kids, but ...
user33759's user avatar
12 votes
11 answers
10k views

How would I tell my Father-In-Law that he's being too lenient in disciplining my brother-in-law?

My wife and I are newlyweds, we married last December, and we're still trying to straighten out the paperwork for our new home. I've been staying with my wife in her family's home for couple of months....
threeFatCat's user avatar
2 votes
3 answers
689 views

Has bending the rules with my mother in law caused this issue?

This is a little hard to explain, so if you need clarity I can try. My mother in law visits a few times a year for a week each time. My kids are the only grandchildren she will ever have. She is ...
threetimes's user avatar
  • 7,330
3 votes
2 answers
510 views

How would a child view a move based on materialism?

I am a husband who has been married for the last 9 years and have 3 daughters (7,3,1). Recently I told my wife that I want to move to another state because my new job lets me work remotely and the ...
AbuMariam's user avatar
  • 1,239
8 votes
2 answers
4k views

How do I tell my 13-year-old son I am his biological father?

I have a 13-year-old son and now that his mother and I get along well, we want to tell him that I am his biological father. I had an on and off girlfriend at that time and when we were off I met my ...
Michael's user avatar
  • 81
13 votes
3 answers
1k views

What to do after my nephew showed a graphic video to my 9-year-old son?

My 12-year-old nephew "Bob" took my 9-year-old son aside and showed him a video of ISIS beheading a victim. I am just flabbergasted that Bob would do that. Interestingly Bob did not show the video to ...
Stone's user avatar
  • 414
0 votes
2 answers
462 views

How to change a 4-year-old's violent and defiant behavior when his parents made him our responsibility?

My fiancé's nephew is 4 years old. He refuses to show respect and manners to adult figures; he constantly cusses (his favorite word is "wtf bitch", and he says it to me only.) He also constantly ...
Brandi Hamilton's user avatar
4 votes
2 answers
2k views

Should we leave our daughter at home with her uncle if she then cries?

My daughter is 4+ years old. We used to take her with us wherever we went until recently when we had a doctor's appointment around 10PM. We wanted her to stay home with her uncle because taking her ...
Samiron's user avatar
  • 151
5 votes
2 answers
813 views

What advice can I give to a teen who wants to tell his dad uncomfortable truths?

My girlfriend's Teenage Boy (TB), 14, wants to talk to his dad about things he doesn't like about him, like smoking in the living room. He came to me for advice. Knowing his dad, who is a very ...
Andy K's user avatar
  • 866
2 votes
1 answer
389 views

how to deal with my sister

I have a sister 8 years younger than me (18) years old. My Mom and I have always tried to do the best for her and support her, however she is really rude to all my family members. She doesn't respect ...
user20760's user avatar
3 votes
1 answer
886 views

How do I get my 7 month old niece to trust me?

I am uncle of a 7 month old girl. She seems really happy when my mother / her grandma interacts with her. But when I interact with her (try to play with her or put her on my arm), she often becomes ...
Philipp's user avatar
  • 1,067
11 votes
3 answers
1k views

How do we address other adults telling my son to ask us to bring him to their house?

My sister-in-law has developed a habit both my wife and I find annoying: in order to try and get us to come to their house more often, she constantly pulls my son aside when they're leaving from a ...
user avatar
11 votes
2 answers
438 views

How do I join a well established community (a family with my GF and her two kids actually)?

My GF has two kids, she lives in a big suburb, a little bit out of nowhere in the country side and I used to live in a global city. I moved to get closer to her, hence now I'm living with her and the ...
Andy K's user avatar
  • 866
5 votes
2 answers
3k views

19 yr old niece lives with us and is upsetting family relations

My 19 yr old niece has come from overseas to study, and lives with us. I have two small sons, and my niece one minute loves them the next minute shuts them out. She has come from a not so loving ...
user avatar
6 votes
4 answers
1k views

Should I be expected to love my new step-granddaughter instantly?

My son has been living with his girlfriend for 4 years. He has an 11-year-old daughter and his girlfriend also has an 11-year-old daughter. They live in another state and do not come to see me. My ...
Judy's user avatar
  • 71
26 votes
2 answers
215k views

What to do about the incestuous relationship between my daughter and her cousin?

I walked in on my daughter having sex with her cousin. They are both 14 years old. It happened in my sister's house in her double bed. I wasn't sure on how I should react but I told my sister and she ...
user avatar
4 votes
2 answers
430 views

Explaining death and dealing with mourning for a pre-schooler in an atheist family with religious extended family?

My grandmother, my 3.5 year old daughter's great-grandmother, is sadly very ill and could pass away at any time within the next few weeks. My daughter has yet to experience death (e.g. a pet dying) ...
Bogdanovist's user avatar
5 votes
3 answers
2k views

As a babysitting aunt, how to bond with misbehaving, mean-spirited children?

I live in the USA, my son lives in the Netherlands. He has two little girls aged 5 years and 6 years respectively. My adult daughter, who doesn't have children herself, is visiting them at this time. ...
Marilyn's user avatar
  • 51
5 votes
1 answer
2k views

8-year-old girl very keen on her uncle and not on her aunt, a matter of age?

My wife and I are in our thirties. She is the "godmother" of a nice 8-year-old girl (her sister's single child). As her husband, she has become increasingly interested in me lately (I'd say since ...
Iam Zesh's user avatar
  • 153
9 votes
2 answers
942 views

Dealing with overprotective parents - is there anything I can do?

I have been tutoring a child, and over the past months I have come to the conclusion that the parents allow the child to stop when things are getting hard. The child has from my view only little ...
oliver_siegel's user avatar
1 vote
3 answers
265 views

What can we do to get my cousin's 8-year-old to behave, instead of destroying things and blaming others?

My cousin's 8-year-old son seems to be one of the worst kids I know. We have tried so many different angles of punishment and tried to compromise... First to start with, he likes to get into things. ...
Sooner's user avatar
  • 27
9 votes
4 answers
4k views

Extended family not catering for baby's routine

We have a 15 month old child. He is the only sub 10 year-old in my side of the family. I recently got into a dispute with family, as they wanted us to arrive for a family occasion at a specific time, ...
TheBloke's user avatar
  • 109
26 votes
6 answers
3k views

Explaining mental illness to children

We have a relative with some sort of undiagnosed mental illness who (among other symptoms) compulsively cleans everything regularly with fairly strong bleach. Her fear of germs and infection is the ...
Acire's user avatar
  • 22.6k
1 vote
3 answers
510 views

Frequency of visits of in-laws [closed]

This is mostly about my contacts to my in-laws rather than about my child (apologies if not the right forum). I have a fraught relationship with my brother-in-law and generally would try to avoid ...
Nick's user avatar
  • 149
38 votes
7 answers
8k views

How to explain to a 9-year-old why a relative is not welcome

Very soon my mother's brother will be released from prison. He is a pedophile. He was caught, plead guilty, etc etc...he is not someone I'd want around any child, certainly not my own. My mother, ...
Jax's user avatar
  • 5,275
14 votes
4 answers
1k views

How can we explain our "cry it out" strategy to people who oppose it?

My wife and I have had success with a form of the "cry it out" strategy with our three children. I know it's not for everyone, but our household has gotten into some healthy sleep patterns without ...
Jon Ericson's user avatar
  • 2,260
2 votes
2 answers
2k views

Does a child's resemblance to a parent affect attitudes of other family members?

When a child strongly resembles one of his/her parents it can create a reaction in people who meet the child. Can a strong physical resemblance to a parent affect relationships with both close and ...
user avatar
7 votes
2 answers
4k views

How to handle a 10-year-old boy who has fallen in love?

My 10-year-old nephew is doing 5th standard schooling. He is normally doesn't do too much, mostly playing video games and watching movies. His education progress is also good. Yesterday, I heard ...
Gowri's user avatar
  • 173
2 votes
1 answer
1k views

How to tackle my violent 3-year-old niece?

My 3-year-old niece sometimes behaves very violently. She so much enjoys hitting me with tab/doll/spoon/bottle or whatever she has. She hits very hard. I try to take the things away from her. But she ...
aarbee's user avatar
  • 131
1 vote
1 answer
2k views

How to handle an unethical relationship [closed]

I am a software engineer working in India. I live with my wife and younger brother who is preparing for management studies. Yesterday I dug into his computer and I was shocked when I found that he is ...
Amit Singh's user avatar
8 votes
4 answers
9k views

How to deal with a naughty 5-year-old nephew who is not being disciplined by his mother?

I live in a joint family with two of my uncles, and I have a very naughty five year old nephew who's a nuisance to the entire household. We live in a flat and my nephew throws stuff out of the window ...
Aadit M Shah's user avatar
25 votes
11 answers
82k views

What is a reasonable amount of time to wait before family visits your new baby?

My wife and I are preparing to negotiate with our families about visiting our first baby. We want to take some time to recover and feel like we have a comfortable routine before taking visitors. We ...
user avatar
14 votes
2 answers
2k views

When you don't think (grand)children are getting the care they need

My neigbor is now a grandmother of two little girls about whom she is very concerned. Relevant backstory: The grandmother/neighbor was an adict to multiple things while she raised the mother of the ...
balanced mama's user avatar
6 votes
9 answers
2k views

What should I do when my daughter's health is affected by the cats at my parents home when we visit?

My daughter is allergic to cats...and dogs...and eggs. We don't have any pets, but my parents do. We live about 250 miles away from my parents, but we do travel to see them about once a month. My ...
Meg Coates's user avatar
  • 11.9k
9 votes
4 answers
2k views

What do you do with the cousins who, at birthday parties insist on opening the presents when they are not the guest of honor?

The girls insist on opening presents for their younger cousins and brother at birthday parties where the family is included. While this was acceptable when the younger cousins (and sibling) were too ...
balanced mama's user avatar
13 votes
3 answers
1k views

What do you do when a relative heaps presents on her children at Christmas and Your kid's pile always looks paltry in comparison?

One set of my daughter's cousins have gigantic stockings, and they often get 3-4 major presents associated with St. Nick. We have modest stockings and give one toy from St. Nick and one - two ...
balanced mama's user avatar
9 votes
5 answers
2k views

Embarrassing experience with my nephew; Should I tell his parents?

The experience and my actions at the time: Three years ago, my nephew was three years old, in the middle of his potty training. After lunch with the family everyone went outside, he and his older ...
Shadow Wizard Love Zelda's user avatar
1 vote
1 answer
2k views

How to stop a 3½-year-old from putting fingers in his ears when he is not comfortable?

Whenever I take my 3.5-year-old nephew to some unknown place or somewhere he is not comfortable, he puts his fingers in his ears as if he wants to avoid a loud noise. Even if I take him to some dark ...
Bharat Patel's user avatar
9 votes
5 answers
4k views

How strict can I be with my niece?

I am a new Uncle and I sometimes find myself in the position that I should tell my niece off, yet I feel that it's not my place to do this. I would only raise my voice to her, but I feel this may ...
Chris Barry's user avatar
8 votes
3 answers
3k views

How can the god-parent obtain legal custody of children when single parent is comatose? [closed]

I have a friend that just described her situation and I'm lost. Hopefully someone here can help me out. I'm a programmer so I'm using variables instead of names :) A = my friend B = her friend (...
rennat's user avatar
  • 189