Questions tagged [discipline]

How to enforce the rules you set, and consequences when those rules are broken. Use [behavior] for questions about why children act the way they do.

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13
votes
3answers
619 views

As a parent, how do I discipline kids who refuse to comply without physically or emotionally harming them?

Core Question My 13 year-old younger brother defies any attempt to control him and my parents do not/can not tell him to do anything that he doesn't want to do. He simply refuses to do it and there ...
13
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7answers
10k views

How to deal with my teen daughter who is stealing and lying?

My daughter has been lying and stealing from us as well as someone she called her BFF. We give her consequences and she continues with her stealing and lying. Recently I found out that she was cutting ...
13
votes
1answer
5k views

How to help a 3-year-old with vicious temper to express his emotions in a healthy way?

My three year old boy (the middle of three boys; older brother is 9, younger brother is almost 2) is smoldering with anger pretty often. He flies off the handle at little things. I've dealt with a ...
12
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11answers
10k views

How would I tell my Father-In-Law that he's being too lenient in disciplining my brother-in-law?

My wife and I are newlyweds, we married last December, and we're still trying to straighten out the paperwork for our new home. I've been staying with my wife in her family's home for couple of months....
12
votes
5answers
625 views

How to eat out with kids?

My wife and I have tried taking our kids out to eat (even at a young age) in hopes that more experiences will help them understand what is appropriate behavior and what is not. My oldest son (4) has a ...
12
votes
7answers
14k views

Is 15 years old too old to ground for bad grades?

I have a 15 year old that has been grounded 60% of the time the past two years. Most of the groundings are around his grades or forgetting to do homework. When he is grounded at first he buckles ...
12
votes
5answers
689 views

How to help a 14-year-old recognize reckless, destructive behavior as such and take it seriously after partially blinding our dog?

Our 14-year-old is a great kid. No joke. He causes very little issues for us. Lately though, he has simply turned reckless in his behavior at times. I have attributed this change to the fact that he ...
12
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5answers
4k views

Any suggestions on how to control yelling and negativity on our part, and also teach my 8 yr old son to not feel so helpless and cry so easily?

This is about my 8-year old son, who cries easily and helplessly, mostly in response to our enforcing discipline and routine or refusing things he wants. I understand that he should not expect to be ...
12
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7answers
7k views

How do I motivate my 8-year-old to practice the piano regularly?

I end up offering TV time as a reward but he complains so much while practicing, tracks time by calling out every 2 minutes, and practices without respecting the piano or the music (bangs it out). He ...
12
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6answers
13k views

6 year old daughter: a bully? manipulative? sensitive? or just difficult?

My 6 year old daughter is amazing in many ways - she is smart, creative, likes school, gets along well at school, is independent...on her good days. However, I'm really struggling with her at home. ...
12
votes
3answers
846 views

How to extract child from busy place without physical restraint

Last weekend, my wife took our two children (almost 3 and 14 months) to the museum. They go there frequently (5-10 times in the last six months), and usually have no problems. This time, the older ...
12
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3answers
3k views

How can you teach a toddler about pain without actually inflicting any in return?

My daughter is entering those 'terrible twos', and as a father I want to find the method of teaching her discipline and self control that really gets the point across. For most behaviors, my wife and ...
12
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2answers
1k views

What to do when an eight-year old says “sorry” in a not sorry voice

My daughter sometimes hurts me. When it's physical, it's pretty much almost always accidental. But sometimes when she's mad, she says mean things that are meant to hurt. If I say "Ow!" or "That hurt ...
12
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4answers
5k views

My wife constantly loses her temper with our 5 year old son

My wife and I have been married for about 7 years, we have two sons, one is five years old and the other is eighteen months old. I disagree with the way my wife disciplines and reacts to our five year ...
12
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3answers
1k views

Why am I so scared to become a parent?

My wife and I are looking forward to try to have a child sometime soon. She's really excited about it, but I can't help but be really scared. My main fear is that I want to give our child the best ...
12
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6answers
2k views

Fake driver's license discovered — how to deal with situation?

My 17-year-old daughter leaves her purse in the car, even at night. This is really unsafe, even for the city we live in. I wanted to teach her a lesson about the dangers of leaving valuables in a car ...
12
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6answers
2k views

How can I make my preschool child brush his teeth, and similar mandatory tasks?

Most tasks and chores can be taught by letting the child experience consequences, because those consequences are mostly immediate and direct (e.g. not going to the playground if the child won't put on ...
12
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3answers
1k views

How do you moderate a teenager's obsessive or excessive behavior?

We're not dealing with teenagers yet but I would really like to avoid this kind of outburst. How have parents with teenagers been able to find/establish a balance for their children to not be so ...
12
votes
1answer
964 views

What are the impacts of public shaming?

What are the short-term and long-term consequences of public shaming as a discipline technique in terms of behavior, psychology, and/or the parent-child relationship? (One example.) Per some feedback,...
11
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6answers
8k views

Should a 5 year old excuse themselves after farting?

My five years old daughter sometime farts silently, and she doesn't excuse herself. Every time I detect such a situation, I remind her that she should try to avoid it and leave the room, going to a ...
11
votes
3answers
13k views

My 8-year-old daughter was taught by her classmates how to use the middle finger. How do I get her to stop this behavior?

Two of my daughter's 8-year-old class mates taught my daughter how to use the middle finger. My daughter is now obsessed and won't stop. We don't use this at home and find it offensive. However, ...
11
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4answers
100k views

How can I deal with my 12-year old son's rebellious behaviour?

My son is a very loving child and fun to be with usually....ever since he turned 12 he is suddenly the resident expert in the house on anything from how to drive a car to how become president. You ...
11
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7answers
9k views

How strict should we be with our 14-month-old boy?

Our baby is really sweet :) Generally can be considered as a good / easy going baby. There are times though, when he gets totally out of control. I've had a discussion with a child-psychologist who ...
11
votes
7answers
9k views

How do you deal with a 9 year old not doing their homework?

My 9 year old girl is currently going through a phase where she isn't getting her homework done by herself. I'm trying to find the right balance between encouraging her to get her homework done, yet, ...
11
votes
4answers
6k views

How strict should I be with my 9 month old?

I want him to be well behaved but I also want him to be happy and to feel loved by us. I find it difficult to balance telling him off so the he understands not to drop food on the floor, grab my ...
11
votes
6answers
5k views

How do I get my child to stop picking his nose?

My son picks his nose and, yes, eats it. How can I get this to stop?
11
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4answers
708 views

Kids and Cell Phones? What limits should be set along with giving the first phone?

My nieces and nephew visited recently and I was floored that all three of the girls (including the eight year old) already have their own cell phones. What really bowled me over was when we sat down ...
11
votes
4answers
20k views

How to handle my 9-year-old's uncontrollable raging fits?

We have four kids: a 9-year-old boy, a 6-year-old girl, a 4-year-old boy and a 20-month-old girl. The 9-year-old boy is in general a delightful, well-behaved, kind and considerate boy. Sometimes he ...
11
votes
2answers
21k views

How do I deal with rude or uncooperative siblings?

This is a bit of a tricky one but here goes: I'm in my mid-twenties and (for various reasons) currently live at home with both parents, my 15 year old sister, and my 17 year old brother. I regularly ...
11
votes
1answer
798 views

How to break the cycle of lies?

My six year-old son has recently started lying almost constantly. This is somewhat puzzling to us, because: He almost never gets away with it. Fortunately for us, he isn't very good at it yet, but ...
11
votes
3answers
1k views

When my kids don't get along; what are some options besides punishment that can be effective beyond 5 minutes?

I have an 8-year-old daughter and a 5-year-old son. Sometimes my kids get along great, but like most sometimes they clash. I've been trying to work on substitutions to my usual model of rewards and ...
11
votes
1answer
1k views

How to explain the “fun parent” phenomenon to a 5-year-old?

I'm a step-dad to 3 girls under 6. The eldest is still fairly enamored by bio-dad and while I won't go into the details; he's a man-child. The 3-year-old just follows the eldest at present, but I'm ...
11
votes
1answer
449 views

Child has been copying aggressive behavior…hitting adults. What should I do?

Recently on a visit to our friend's place, my daughter witnessed my friend's 9-year-old son smack/punch a male adult. (They were playing rough and the adult pushed a little too hard and the boy fell ...
11
votes
4answers
254 views

How can I better recognize the point where I've talked too much when disciplining and it's becoming counterproductive?

I come from a long line of lecture-happy parents. This used to drive me nuts when I was a kid. I would get into trouble and then get an earful. My eyes would glaze over and I would basically just ...
10
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5answers
2k views

How do you respond to minor injuries?

I have a 21-month-old daughter. Sometimes (not always), if she bumps her head, or stubs her toe, or whatever, this results in crying and asking to be held (and not wanting to be put down once the ...
10
votes
8answers
5k views

Should our 3 year old boy be made to look at me while I am talking (during discipline)?

Our little boy tends to get 3 minutes on the naughty spot when he's done something wrong. After this time one of us tries to explain why he's been naughty spotted and what he should do differently ...
10
votes
8answers
2k views

How can I stop repeating myself?

How can I get my child to listen to me the first time I ask for something? He pretends he didnt hear after the 4th time I ask, but it is obvious he did hear me the first time. He is two years old by ...
10
votes
4answers
5k views

How do I make my 7-year-old son stop using bad language?

I am at a loss as to what to do with my seven-year-old son. He constantly uses bad words. Occasionally, he uses curse words but mostly it is words like "dumb," "idiot," "stupid," etc. He says the ...
10
votes
5answers
1k views

Preschooler can't sing, but sings anyway - loudly!

My 3½ year old has never had any sense of music, rhythm, notes, or anything resembling the musical arts. (Motor skills is where he truly excels; he's a sports person, not a musician.) Recently, he ...
10
votes
2answers
2k views

What to do when a 12-year-old boy has defeated behavior management program (Kazdin method)?

I am in a six year relationship with a woman who has two kids, a 15-year-old girl and a 12-year-old boy. We have moved a lot. The child's father has been incarcerated for most of the child's life. ...
10
votes
4answers
3k views

Kids (ages 4 and 6) only listen when raising my voice, tried everything, what am I doing wrong?

I hate to raise my voice, but there are certain situations where no matter how or what I say, my kids won't listen. I'm not talking about hearing what I say and deciding not to do it, they simply ...
10
votes
5answers
29k views

Help! My 7 year old won't go to bed early, or get up early

This is a struggle every night, and every morning. We start around 7:30-8:00 PM..."shower time" and the struggle starts. She's got school the next morning and I'm trying to get her showered, and ...
10
votes
3answers
1k views

How can parents avoid their child becoming a “whiner”?

Inspired from my previous question, but distilled to be more specific: What types of parenting would cause a child to become a "whiner?" By this, I mean that the child becomes someone who tends to ...
10
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4answers
30k views

How to deal with tantrums in an 8-year-old child?

We have three boys aged 4, 8 and 10. The youngest and eldest seem to be fine and no issues, but the middle child is quite willful and having tantrums. It's like he never quite grew out of the terrible ...
10
votes
2answers
411 views

What is the minimum amount of structure and rules that a child needs?

My wife and I have very different ways of handling our children (almost 3 and 5 years old). We agree about the rules we want to set, but we are complete opposite when it comes to implementing the ...
10
votes
3answers
1k views

Can having a computer game temporarily go blank when kids are too loud have adverse emotional effects?

There is a very popular question where a father says: My kids (4 and 5) yell a lot when playing games on the computer. I found an effective cure for this. When I hear loud noises, I [remotely] ...
10
votes
4answers
1k views

How to get your toddler to ask nicely for things when they're grumpy?

We taught our son really early on to say and sign, "Please" when he wants things. We've never responded to his demands when he wants something, and have him ask nicely first. We also encourage "thank ...
10
votes
2answers
456 views

Golden rule 'do's' and 'don'ts'' when holding a child's party - your experiences are asked!

This Saturday my 4 year old is having 5 Kindergarten friends over to celebrate being one meter tall (it's a 'one meter party'). We'll have a house and (weather permitting) garden for an afternoon of ...
10
votes
4answers
590 views

What is the best way to calmly respond to a pre-schooler who will not listen?

What is the best way to approach 4yo son that behaves poorly and\or doesn't listen to you, ignores your words, and at the same time stay calm? It seems the only thing he understands is a physical ...
10
votes
2answers
386 views

Should you secretly drill your children?

A lot of situations we teach our children about come up all the time. They get plenty of practice looking both ways before crossing the street, for example. However, there are some situations that ...

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