Questions tagged [discipline]

How to enforce the rules you set, and consequences when those rules are broken. Use [behavior] for questions about why children act the way they do.

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21
votes
9answers
23k views

How can I get my 4.5-year-old to stay in bed at bedtime?

Lately my 4.5-year-old son has started getting back up after bed time. Frequently we will go through the entire bedtime ritual, including a bath, pajamas, brushing teeth, books, and then being tucked ...
21
votes
4answers
2k views

How to deal with others' children who do not respect my authority?

What are some good strategies for dealing with misbehaving children who are not my own? The children in my son's kindergarten class do things to me or to my son which they should not do like ...
21
votes
9answers
3k views

What do we do when timeouts are not effective?

We have a three year old toddler, and he has just seemed to realize that timeouts are nothing more than him sitting in a corner for a few minutes. He has recently started doing a whole suite of bad ...
21
votes
6answers
29k views

How to stop my preschooler from constantly running away

We have a very active 4-year-old. She has a will of her own though with what she wants to do, and there's one thing in particular that I find I don't know what to do: she's constantly running away. ...
20
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15answers
5k views

When is physical punishment appropriate?

In what instances do you feel that striking your child is the most appropriate course of action?
20
votes
5answers
5k views

Does good cop/bad cop work with children?

My wife and I have descended into the toddler years with our first. Along with that, she is getting that classic toddler attitude. We understand it's a growing phase and tantrums and outbursts are ...
20
votes
6answers
11k views

Should I cut my child's dad out of his life?

My son will be six years old in another month and since he has been 1 years old his dad has been in and out of his life. He has been to prison twice and spent a year both times he went, so that ...
20
votes
12answers
27k views

How do I deal with a child that refuses to do a chore or task?

How do I deal with 7 year old kid who refuses to do a chore or task? He's not listening and ignores my request.
20
votes
7answers
53k views

How can I motivate my child who doesn't care about rewards?

My son is 8 and has always been argumentative and basically lazy with doing ANYTHING since he could talk. If he has homework that takes ten minutes, he will take two hours due to just leaving the ...
20
votes
4answers
6k views

My son witnessed a friend receiving corporal punishment; how do I prevent this from sending the wrong message?

As I was picking my son up from daycare the other day, another boy's "Nanny" (grandmother, I presume) was picking him up at the same time. The boy was playing, and grabbing on to other children's ...
20
votes
7answers
8k views

How to approach my little brother's addiction to TV and computer?

I'm 26, my younger brother is 13. He is spending almost all of his day on TV and computer. Common problem, but I am really worried about him. I came back to live in my parents' house since it's ...
19
votes
8answers
40k views

How to stop the toddler from *deliberately* throwing things out of the balcony?

The girl is 20 months old, and it is not her fault that she loves her game of picking things from the room and throwing them out of balcony and watching them fall. She has been told in plain English ...
19
votes
11answers
110k views

5 year old cries every time she is told “no”

My 5 year old daughter is crying every time she is told no. It doesn't matter if it is a little thing or a big thing she is asking for--she cries. We don't give in to her crying. We have tried ...
19
votes
8answers
9k views

Parent insists I lied and getting punished for it

My parents insist that I lied to them about a chore. It was an accident and not intentional. They do not believe me yet I don't lie to them. I am getting punished big time and don't know what to do. ...
18
votes
2answers
10k views

What can we do about our 9-month-old putting fingers down his throat?

For the past 6 weeks or so, our 9-month-old son has been in the habit of sticking a finger far into his mouth; to the point where he coughs; and sometimes throws up as a result. If we are next to him ...
18
votes
8answers
5k views

How do I put my child in time-out when we're in public?

What is the recommended thing to do when my kids are misbehaving in public? For instance, I have had situations where they are yelling and throwing stuff in a restaurant, or the other day they one ...
17
votes
7answers
2k views

How can I negotiate with a toddler successfully?

Recently our 2.5 daughter started being really annoying about doing simple daily things, like brushing her teeth, dressing, undressing, putting on shoes to go out, etc. Often we need to negotiate up ...
17
votes
4answers
3k views

How to answer someone who says, “What he needs is a good spanking!”

I was in a restaurant when my 2.5 year old decided to throw a major tantrum. I used time outs, so I scooped him up and carried him towards the door (he was crying and flailing). Much to my ...
17
votes
8answers
25k views

How do we teach our 1-year-old that “no” isn't a game?

We have an almost 13-month-old daughter. She's found that when she touches a power cord or near an electrical outlet and we say "no" that it's a bit of a game. She gets a funny smirk on her face until ...
16
votes
5answers
2k views

How to get a child to stop pretending to choke on foods he doesn't want to eat?

I have a 4 1/2 yr old. We're at the stage where he's definitely finicky over foods. The issue is not so much that he's finicky, but that he expresses it by taking a bite and then mock choking. I am ...
16
votes
4answers
19k views

How to motivate my extremely lazy 12-year-old?

My 12-year-old son is a good kid, but he is extremely unmotivated to do literally anything unless I or his mother are constantly riding him the whole time. As a young child, he was "easy" to raise ...
16
votes
5answers
11k views

What should you do after you've raised your voice at your child?

We've all lost our cool at one point or another. We all know its terrible to raise your voice at your kids, but every once in a while we slip. I've occasionally raised my voice to my teenager and to ...
16
votes
8answers
47k views

How can I get my 5-year-old to stop biting others?

I have a 5-year-old son. At school, another child might have a toy he wants. He gets frustrated at not being able to get it and he bites them. This is not defensive, more aggressive. Once, he was ...
16
votes
6answers
19k views

How to direct my one-year old baby not to do bad things

I have a one-year old baby, she is smart and loves to try everything and anything, including putting her fingers in the electricity and tasting every possible thing she finds :) How can I tell my ...
15
votes
7answers
11k views

How do I convince a stubborn 8 year old that the parents are supposed to be in charge?

Our daughter thinks she has an equal say in any of our decisions. She only does the things we tell her to do if she thinks they make sense, otherwise we have to threaten her, which makes her threaten ...
15
votes
7answers
6k views

How to react to “cruelty” of a toddler?

My son is two and a half years old and is not in general of the violent type. However he regularly enjoys showing "cruelty". By that I mean that regularly when he "by accident" (let's stay positive) ...
15
votes
4answers
9k views

At what age can children understand and respond well to discipline?

When my daughter was 6 months old, she liked to crawl over to our floor lamp and play with it (which is dangerous). Instead of trying to correct her behavior, we simply moved the lamp behind a child ...
15
votes
2answers
354 views

Respectful parenting and discipline

Been reading a bit about Respectful Parenting and mutual respect as a parenting style and it appeals to us. We have four kids so keeping track of reward charts and various other trackers is complex ...
14
votes
5answers
1k views

Is complimenting children where they can hear it good or bad?

TL;DR: Is there anything wrong with praising children to their parents while the children can hear it? From R. Kipling's "The jungle book": ‘How beautiful are the noble children! How large are ...
14
votes
12answers
78k views

Is the “1 2 3 Magic” strategy for disciplining effective?

Has anyone had experience with the discipline strategies put forth in the book "1 2 3 Magic" by Thomas W Phelan? "1-2-3 Magic" involves counting your child for bad behavior. For example, your child ...
14
votes
7answers
6k views

When is corporal punishment abuse, really?

My friend (who believes in corporal punishment delivered lovingly[1]) has cancelled two of her pediatrician appointments now because one or another of her (4) children have had bruises on their ...
14
votes
4answers
10k views

What consequences are appropriate for pre-teens?

There comes a time when time-outs don't cut it anymore. Normally, when my kids exercise poor judgement, I let them experience natural consequences. However, sometimes their actions go against what we ...
14
votes
7answers
28k views

How to prevent children from sucking their thumb?

My 4-years-old daughter still sucks her thumb while sleeping. How can help her stopping this habit? I have tried to give her a pacifier, but she refuses it. She does not have this habit during the ...
14
votes
4answers
30k views

At what age can you start giving time-outs?

Is 2 years too young? She hit her baby brother and I'm not sure she really will understand th concept of time-out yet.
14
votes
2answers
3k views

Ego-centric kid or control-freaked mum?

Apparently, I'm doing something wrong or I don't know how to connect with my child properly... I have a lovely 5,5 years old daughter, who is an absolutely cute and non-problematic girl at a ...
14
votes
3answers
4k views

What kind of obedience is to be expected from a 2-year old?

My daughter is 2-years old, with what seems a good development overall. We also have a 7-month old son. My wife takes care of them at home most of the time, and they also see their cousin (also 2-...
14
votes
5answers
2k views

How do you respond to a teenager who has started to smoke?

How can you best handle this? Coming off as too strong and authoritative might invite "rebellion". Too lenient makes it seem okay. What is the best response for driving home the dangers and risks ...
14
votes
3answers
10k views

Stop a 14 month old from hurting the dog

I am the father to a 14 month old son, an only child, and he is pretty much how I would expect a toddler to be. He has an unquenchable curiosity, a need for play, occasional cuddles, intense desires ...
14
votes
3answers
3k views

How do I stop my daughter from hitting another child?

Recently my daughter started to hit another girl with whom she is currently sharing her nanny. My daughter is 2 years and 2 months now, the other child is 1 year 3 months. The nanny was our daughters ...
14
votes
3answers
2k views

How to deal with the child when both the parents are not on the same page?

The kid will soon grow up to the age when she'll need to be disciplined. My husband and I are NOT on the same page regarding disciplining the child. I think if the kid cries because one parent has ...
14
votes
4answers
2k views

How to deal with a 3-year-old very high energy child as a single mom?

I have a 3-year-old who just loves to push my buttons. I'm a single mom who has him every night, but while I work he goes to his father. His dad says he tried to follow the same discipline and naps ...
14
votes
3answers
3k views

Toddler putting small stones in her mouth thinking it's funny

My 1.5-year-old has recently started putting small stones (the size of hazelnuts) in her mouth when we are outdoors, which of course can be very dangerous. I have tried everything I could think of ...
14
votes
3answers
429 views

How to positively teach a toddler dishonest actions are bad

While on vacation my family and I were at a store and my 4 year old daughter had picked up a toy and placed it on the checkout belt. At this time we did not notice the toy and proceeded to checkout ...
13
votes
8answers
8k views

8-year-old right away repeats action after she is told not to do them

My 8-year-old right away repeats the things she is forbidden from doing. For example, when she is told not to sing at the dinner table she will right away start singing in a lower tone. This is not ...
13
votes
4answers
7k views

My 12 year old has been blowing off homework, and now is writing on his clothes! Is this normal?

My 12 year old has been blowing off homework, and now is writing on his clothes! He plays hockey, which he loves. I stopped letting him play for his teams when his report card came back with bad ...
13
votes
9answers
41k views

What to do about my 6-year-old son with listening, focus and behavioral issues?

I have 3 boys, one a 6 year old. My husband and I are very positive people and try and do a lot with our children, and give each child equal attention. The concerns I have with my 6 year old son are ...
13
votes
8answers
3k views

How to react when a child is in a dangerous situation which requires immediate reaction?

As with all children my son (16 months old) frequently gets himself in dangerous situations There is no problem with somewhat "static" situations, like trying to climb on a chair or slowly reaching ...
13
votes
3answers
25k views

What to do about 1 year old boy who keeps pulling hard at his penis and scrotum?

This has been going on a little while and the health visitor says its normal but we are a bit concerned about the force our child is using when he pulls at his penis: He really yanks it and it looks ...
13
votes
2answers
43k views

How do you handle a toddler that refuses to say 'sorry'?

My two-year-old son is generally exceptionally well-behaved and polite. He was saying "please" and "thank you" at a very early age, and would apologize if he had problems sharing or accidentally hurt ...
13
votes
3answers
918 views

What do I do when I walk into a room with a broken item and both children shrug their shoulders and say “Wasn't me”?

I'm trying to get my kids to be honest and take responsibility. I'm seeing a repeated pattern where one or both of my kids will lie to get out of trouble. They're starting to see that they can deny ...

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