Questions tagged [discipline]

How to enforce the rules you set, and consequences when those rules are broken. Use [behavior] for questions about why children act the way they do.

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140
votes
15answers
40k views

Should I punish my teenage sister, whom I have full custody of, for lying to me in order to secretly see her boyfriend?

I'm 24 years old and have full custody of my 16-year-old sister. She has been living with me for the last 3 years. I found out today, from her, that she has been lying to me about spending time with a ...
118
votes
12answers
26k views

What to do with my pre-teen daughter who has been out of control since a severe accident?

Last December we were victims of a vehicle accident that killed my husband and left my son severely brain damaged. My daughter who is 12 and will be 13 in couple months was the only one in our vehicle ...
115
votes
15answers
51k views

My 13-year-old son made a foolish and wasteful donation. How can I teach him he was wrong?

My son is a 13-year-old honor roll student. He comes home and has all his chores done by the time I get home. He is a great kid. He was hanging out with his friends; this group has been friends ...
110
votes
17answers
17k views

How can you deal with tantrums without spanking?

My son just turned 2, and he started throwing more tantrums on us. He doesn't eat well or drink enough milk ... and he is becoming more adamant and says "No" more often. If we force him to drink milk,...
95
votes
12answers
13k views

Wife agrees with parenting, but is intentionally less strict

The situation is this: My wife and I are married and happy together, with one single child, who is still pretty young (5). It is a little boy, but the question would work regardless of gender. We ...
81
votes
21answers
64k views

My 16 year old daughter got a speeding ticket

About 3 weeks ago, my 16-year-old daughter got a speeding ticket for doing 46mph (74 km/h) in a 20mph (33 km/h) zone. (No, it's not a typo.) She was coming home after school with no place to be ...
71
votes
15answers
20k views

How to answer my 5 year old why I can tell her what she has to do, and why she can't tell me what to do

In the morning there are lots of things to be done before heading off to preschool. I'm acting like a policeman every morning to get those things done and to push my child to go out. Every day I have ...
68
votes
16answers
6k views

Is bribing children with cash incentives a good idea?

I pay my 5.5-year-old $1 if she sleeps in her own bed and take $1 in rent when she sleeps in our bed. I've also taken to offering her $1 to pick up her 2.5-year-old brother's Lego messes. Good or ...
57
votes
14answers
11k views

How should I handle an 8 year old lawyering and quibbling?

How should I handle an 8 year old lawyering and quibbling? E.g., anytime he has a rule, or a task, or is told what to do, his FIRST impulse is nearly 100% to find some fault with the technicality or ...
54
votes
12answers
12k views

What are the legal, emotional, and/or behavioral repercussions of confiscating money as a punishment?

Let's assume I'm a parent and that I use this punishment, for the sake of the question. The primary punishment I use to discipline my children is to confiscate money. It seems fairly effective in ...
52
votes
6answers
17k views

How can I undo the bad behavior my 2.5 year old daughter learned from 5 year old children?

We went on a trip with some friends for 2 days, and there were three 5-year-old girls. After returning from the trip, my daughter has been pushing her brother 5X more, kicking her mother 5X more (for ...
49
votes
16answers
16k views

Should I stop my mother in law visiting when she doesn't respect me as the father figure?

Sadly these are her words, not mine. Why is this posted in this QA site? Because I can't see how it is good for the children that she (when my wife is not around) shouts at me in front of them; cuts ...
48
votes
8answers
16k views

Do parents get punishment too?

Just because we are parents does not mean we are infallible. We are definitely capable of bad behavior and sometimes our children see or are affected by it. If we do something wrong that we would ...
43
votes
14answers
11k views

Is it too late to read for my baby?

We have created a bad habit of our baby watching TV at a very young age. He is now turning 1 this month and he starts to babble on some words. I am a first time mother and I have been anxious about ...
40
votes
6answers
25k views

3 year-old boy wants constant attention, hits and deliberately poops in underpants when he doesn't get it

I have a nearly 3-year-old boy whose energy has become near-limitless, coupled with new neediness, aggression, and defiance. He wants to run around and be played with for the entire day. He is unable ...
40
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8answers
8k views

My child is ignoring my timeouts and walking away from them. What are some options for handling this?

I have a two and a half year old daughter. Recently she's been acting up generally, and ignoring timeouts by getting up and walking away. I would pick her up and plant her down again, but I know ...
40
votes
8answers
306k views

How can we discipline a strong-willed, misbehaving 5 year-old?

My 5 year old son receives and fears punishment but repeatedly exhibits the same unacceptable behaviors. He's always been strong-willed, and is usually the kind to view a statement like "Don't do ...
37
votes
8answers
31k views

How to respond if my child is picked on by other children?

What can I do if other children pick on my children? Obviously I can't perform any disciplinary actions. Reprimanding might make my child look like a "mama's boy" and doing nothing might look like a ...
36
votes
8answers
4k views

What are some suggestions for punishing a child? [closed]

My daughters are clearly pushing the boundaries lately. They are trying to find out what is possible. I am really looking into ways to setting the boundaries. A friend recently suggested creating a ...
35
votes
6answers
5k views

How do you handle unsupervised, poorly behaved children in public play areas?

This is closely related to this question. However, that primarily deals with interactions at relatively controlled, private functions. This question is more focused on the feeding-frenzy style chaos ...
35
votes
3answers
12k views

How do you handle poor behavior by other people's children?

I believe that interacting with a variety of other children at social functions is an important part of childhood development. However, there seem to be a lot of children who are... how shall I ...
33
votes
10answers
3k views

Reasoning vs “because I say so”

Raising our two-year-old, my wife and I have slightly different views on how to get our child to obey instructions, such as "get in the car seat" and "put on your shirt." One of us feels that it is ...
32
votes
4answers
20k views

My 2 year old is a bully! [duplicate]

My son doesn't want to share anything with other kids, and if some kid even so much as touches his toy, he pushes the kid. He shouts and cries at the same time, and tries to express his anger by ...
30
votes
14answers
15k views

How to deal with my 12 year old son being allegedly caught cheating at school

My son, 12, is a good student who always gets A's. He takes his schoolwork very seriously and does his homework on time. Today I received a shocking call from his teacher that he was caught cheating....
30
votes
8answers
5k views

Is punishment necessary?

I'm a young parent, and still have a lot to learn, but I have been wondering a lot about whether punishment needs to be a part of parenting. Maybe I'm being too optimistic here, but are there any ...
30
votes
4answers
10k views

How to deal with my 2-year-old daughter crying and getting angry when we don't give her what she asks for?

My daughter is 2 years and 4 months old. Yesterday, she asked me to give her my phone and I told her, "No this is mine." She started crying and hitting me and then she bit me. I got shocked, then I ...
29
votes
10answers
7k views

Is there a benefit or harm in letting a 3 year old control her own bedtime routine?

I'm a bit exhausted getting my 3 year old daughter through the evening. Getting home, washing hands, sitting at the dinner table, eating dinner, eating fruit, taking a bath, towel drying, drying hair,...
28
votes
10answers
12k views

I think my 11 month old is afraid of his dad

I will try to make this short... Every time my son's dad shows his face, my son cries himself to sleep. His dad tries to console him but it never works. It always gets to the point of his dad feeling ...
28
votes
9answers
7k views

Can a punishment be devoid of any “violence”?

If parents give a spank to their child, this is considered violence and as such frowned upon - and in some countries simply a crime under the law. In my observation, parents who don't want to spank ...
28
votes
11answers
6k views

Do I enforce a punishment/retribution promised some time ago?

Three weeks ago while visiting relatives, my seven year old nephew (who is generally terribly behaved) was particularly nasty to my two year old daughter. Amongst the issues was him refusing to ...
27
votes
10answers
16k views

5yrs old being bossy… Is this too much or tolerable at this age?

My daughter is nearly 5yrs old and goes to kindergarten. Recently her classmate's (call her A) parent reports to the class teacher that my daughter bosses A verbally to the point that A refuses to go ...
26
votes
6answers
15k views

How to deal with a 6 year old who was “caught” cheating?

This is regarding my son who is 6 years old and is studying in Grade 1. We got a call from his class teacher that he was caught "cheating" during dictation assessment. Actually, we revise the words at ...
26
votes
6answers
13k views

Is the 'naughty chair' an effective strategy to punish children?

I am a great skeptic in punishment in general as the most common methods seem to become irrelevant when the child grows up (confiscation of games, threats, verbal or corporal reprimands...). Since all ...
25
votes
13answers
28k views

How can I get my 4 year old to clean up toys without a battle?

Multiple times during the day, we have our 4 year old take a break from playing to clean up her toys. It's a huge battle every time. Usually, she ends up on the ground saying that there are too many ...
25
votes
7answers
3k views

How do you stop a child from talking back without discouraging them from asserting themselves?

Our 3.5 yo is starting to talk back to us in the typical futile yes/no/yes/no pattern of opposites. The other day it was hooking his straps on his car seat; I asked him to put his arms in (like we ...
25
votes
5answers
7k views

7-year old with Asperger's caught stealing - how to deal with that?

Today my 7-year old child was caught stealing in their classroom. They suffer from light Asperger's, so I'm not sure that they even notice having done something wrong. I'm not eager to punish my child ...
24
votes
10answers
19k views

18-month-old kicked out of church nursery

Our 18-month old was kicked out of our church's nursery where we send him during worship services & church classes. He's kicked out unless one of us are in there with him, which makes it difficult ...
24
votes
8answers
7k views

Why do kids always do things which we tell them NOT to do?

This is the kind of behaviour which I have seen in lot of kids including mine (2 year old). When I tell him NOT to hold a knife, he will make sure he does it. If I tell him not to spill milk on the ...
23
votes
5answers
8k views

9 year old son brought a toy gun to school – how can we get him to understand this isn't just about bringing a toy to school?

My well behaved, bright, popular, naive 9 year old son brought a plastic toy revolver (the kind with the bright orange barrel to indicate that it's a toy) to school yesterday. He snuck it into his ...
23
votes
10answers
29k views

How can I stop my toddler from playing with electrical outlets and plugs?

My 2.5-year-old son has this weird fascination with electrical outlets and power bars. I tried telling him that it's dangerous (he understands and can identify dangerous objects and situations, and ...
23
votes
7answers
2k views

How do you discipline someone else's child?

We have friend who is living with us and he has a 5-year old boy. The child has been disrespectful and distructive. He tore a ceiling fan down, and has been breaking stuff and writing on the walls. ...
23
votes
3answers
4k views

How can we discipline our toddler?

TL;DR version: Toddler doesn't understand disciplining. Help needed. At 22 months, our toddler is incredibly active and always has been. He's also mostly very well-behaved, especially when being ...
22
votes
15answers
42k views

How to deal with a teenage daughter who refuses to dress modestly

My husband and I and are the parents of three wonderful children, but we've been having some issues lately with our 15 year old, our middle child. She continues to wear skirts that are much too short ...
22
votes
6answers
8k views

Making the child finish their food even if they are already full [duplicate]

As a child, my parents always made me finish my food even if I was already full. Food definitely isn't wasted this way, but overeating is not good either. What would be the advantages and ...
22
votes
7answers
5k views

How to avoid corporal punishment?

I know that beating and spanking is no good, but there are situations sometimes when I'm unable to maintain control over myself. We have two boys, one's five and the other's two. Due to their age ...
22
votes
12answers
16k views

My 9 year old son regards life as meaningless [closed]

My son, who is currently 9 years of age, tells me that life is absolutely meaningless and that "we're all here to waste time". When he first told me this, I felt both angry and depressed. And no, ...
22
votes
5answers
1k views

When (if ever) is it appropriate to spy on your teenager's texts?

I'm an active member of Android Enthusiasts Stack Exchange and recently came across this question by a parent, asking for advice on spying on his teenage (I'm assuming) son's texts without getting ...
22
votes
7answers
61k views

How do you stop a child from using bad language and profanity?

My child has started to use swear words. This is shocking because he is using words that we don't use. I'm not sure how to react! How do I get this to stop?
21
votes
11answers
10k views

How can I motivate my 16 yo daughter to do something valuable with her life?

I have a 16 year old daughter who, whenever she has free time wastes it on things that I think are futile like Facebook, Tumblr, etc. She's also performing poorly at school. I've talked to her about ...
21
votes
9answers
22k views

How can I get my 4.5-year-old to stay in bed at bedtime?

Lately my 4.5-year-old son has started getting back up after bed time. Frequently we will go through the entire bedtime ritual, including a bath, pajamas, brushing teeth, books, and then being tucked ...

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