Questions tagged [conflict]

Habits or opinions that cause disagreement, and how to resolve those differences.

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94
votes
12answers
13k views

Wife agrees with parenting, but is intentionally less strict

The situation is this: My wife and I are married and happy together, with one single child, who is still pretty young (5). It is a little boy, but the question would work regardless of gender. We ...
57
votes
14answers
11k views

How should I handle an 8 year old lawyering and quibbling?

How should I handle an 8 year old lawyering and quibbling? E.g., anytime he has a rule, or a task, or is told what to do, his FIRST impulse is nearly 100% to find some fault with the technicality or ...
57
votes
11answers
80k views

12 year old boy is totally out of control

My seventh grader screamed "Fuck you" at me last night. I am at the end of my rope. His behavior is so bad I feel like I need to send him away to a boarding school or something because he is causing ...
55
votes
9answers
11k views

Is it ok to disagree in front of the kids?

We have this little discussion here: Should I let my baby play with oranges? I believe that it is always better for parents to avoid disagreeing, arguing, etc., in front of the kids, especially when ...
43
votes
10answers
22k views

Am I interrupting my husband's parenting?

My husband and I constantly have communication problem against parenting. Since I posted here last time about the discrepancies of parenting between us, he was so happy that someone said I should not ...
43
votes
10answers
17k views

How can I convince my parents to accept my approach on school?

I'm a 16 year-old junior in high school. I often spar with my parents over the fact that I'm failing many classes. The issue, however, is not that I do not understand the material; it's that "failing" ...
34
votes
13answers
11k views

How do I address a teacher humiliating my son by calling him a “tattletale”?

My friend recently shared this experience, and I thought it would be a good question for our site: So, [my son] got in trouble in school today. It seems that the kids were lined up in the hallway, ...
28
votes
7answers
21k views

Breaking my rejection of christianity to my parents

I know this isn't exactly appropriate for this site -- I'm not a parent, I'm a son -- but I think it's still applicable to the community here. I would prefer feedback from actual parents concerned ...
27
votes
4answers
2k views

How do you handle a teacher that teaches pseudo science?

It is not uncommon, that some teachers or schools introduce pseudo-science, like creationism, as a part of curriculum. Given that it is hard to change school quickly, how to deal with such situation?
24
votes
7answers
7k views

How do I tell my parents I'm no longer Christian?

I have been going to church my whole life and faithfully following the Christian religion for 18 or so years. I'm 20 years old, and I have been having doubts about my faith for about 2 years now. My ...
21
votes
5answers
3k views

What to do when parents disagree regarding their parenting

My husband and I often find that we parent differently. We know that up to a point that is why every child (hopefully) as two parents, so they can learn about difference in people, their approaches, ...
21
votes
4answers
3k views

My husband and I have different opinions on parenting

We have a 3 year old cautious and sensitive boy. My husband and I often have different opinions on parenting and sometimes it led to arguments. For some reason, my husband tends to listen to third ...
20
votes
5answers
4k views

Is it a good approach to have a policy of apologizing for yelling at a kid?

A couple of times I encountered situation where people had a following policy If a parent yells at a kid out of frustration with no meaningful reason (e.g. the kid just got on their nerves but ...
19
votes
3answers
12k views

Teenage daughter and stepfather

I have a 16-year-old who has no respect for her stepfather. They hardly communicate and each time he says something she snaps or makes a stroppy or contradictory comment. He sometimes loses his temper ...
16
votes
5answers
11k views

What should you do after you've raised your voice at your child?

We've all lost our cool at one point or another. We all know its terrible to raise your voice at your kids, but every once in a while we slip. I've occasionally raised my voice to my teenager and to ...
15
votes
6answers
1k views

How can I teach my son to behave nicely in the playground when other children make it hard?

I've been trying to teach my 3 and a half year old son to treat other children nicely and to try and resolve all conflicts without aggression, by talking. We've been talking about the issue and agreed ...
14
votes
4answers
1k views

How to minimize the negative impact on our child when we parents argue?

My wife and I have an 8-month-old baby boy. Having a fight, for example debating, is something that we don't want to do. But sometimes, we can't avoid having a fight in front of our son. When the ...
14
votes
2answers
4k views

Co-Parenting with a Toxic Ex: How to Handle Poisoned Comments from Toddler?

I left my verbally abusive ex-wife about 18 months, in part because I could see how much of an effect all the yelling had on my now 5-year old daughter and I wanted both my daughter and my now 3.5 ...
14
votes
5answers
587 views

How can I stop my parents from fighting?

I'm am 13 years old and my parents have been fighting a lot they stay up all night fighting. Most nights when they do fight I never get any sleep I just cry. I want to tell them how I feel and I tried ...
14
votes
3answers
2k views

How to deal with the child when both the parents are not on the same page?

The kid will soon grow up to the age when she'll need to be disciplined. My husband and I are NOT on the same page regarding disciplining the child. I think if the kid cries because one parent has ...
14
votes
3answers
3k views

How do we convince parents that we can't all be there within one week of the holiday every year?

Here is the dilemma. My wife, my brother, my five-year-old son, and I live about five hours from my parents, about four hours from my father-in-law and his SO, and about an hour from my mother-in-law. ...
13
votes
3answers
2k views

How to tell parents of guests that we had a loud fight during a sleepover?

My 9-year-old daughter had a few friends sleep over. My husband and I got into an argument in our room after we sent everyone to bed. He lost control and got really loud. He started slamming doors ...
13
votes
7answers
10k views

How to deal with my teen daughter who is stealing and lying?

My daughter has been lying and stealing from us as well as someone she called her BFF. We give her consequences and she continues with her stealing and lying. Recently I found out that she was cutting ...
13
votes
1answer
506 views

How to deal with my son calling me on the telephone when he is in a fight with his mother?

I am divorced and have an 8-year-old son. Our son lives half of the time with me, half of the time with his mother. Communication between us parents is good, there is no conflict of any kind, and we ...
12
votes
6answers
3k views

How do I convince my daughter to agree that I want to quit my job and not strain our mother-daughter relationship?

I want to leave and start something on my own. But my husband is not working as well and I fear my daughter will feel bad to say that both her parents are not working. What should I do? I have enough ...
12
votes
5answers
2k views

How to escape vicious circle of dawdling - no outdoor activities - conflicts …?

I'm very frustrated at this moment. I have 2 sweet sons (7 and 2 years old), and especially now during the winter holidays (we're all at home together, no school/kindergarden) we could do a lot of ...
12
votes
3answers
776 views

Should a 6 year old's grandmother be kept away if she is abusive to her father?

My daughter loves her grandma and the feeling is mutual. But on occasion when my mom comes to visit, she loses her temper and she starts yelling at me. Sometimes my daughter overhears this despite my ...
12
votes
7answers
2k views

Between parents and marijuana smoking sister

I live in the UK with my sister, who has been smoking marijuana for about a year now. I have known for a large part of that time. She smokes relatively often, however not enough that it's a major risk ...
11
votes
9answers
6k views

How to deal with parents that enforce a curfew on an adult

So my parents, especially my mother, feel the need to control many aspects of my life because "I'm not responsible", which is at least partially true. Completely ignoring the fact that I'm never going ...
11
votes
6answers
2k views

How do I explain the difference in responsibilities and privileges between the oldest and youngest child?

"It's not fair, why can't I do/have it as well?" This must be the recurring question that annoys me the most. Why can't the youngest do or have the same things as the eldest. Why does the eldest have ...
11
votes
3answers
1k views

When my kids don't get along; what are some options besides punishment that can be effective beyond 5 minutes?

I have an 8-year-old daughter and a 5-year-old son. Sometimes my kids get along great, but like most sometimes they clash. I've been trying to work on substitutions to my usual model of rewards and ...
10
votes
8answers
13k views

How to convince an adult son that pot and LSD, even used sparingly is not acceptable

We have a child who has gone off to college and did not perform well his first year. We also found out during this time that he smoked pot in high school a little, and during his freshman year at ...
10
votes
4answers
613 views

What is the best way to calmly respond to a pre-schooler who will not listen?

What is the best way to approach 4yo son that behaves poorly and\or doesn't listen to you, ignores your words, and at the same time stay calm? It seems the only thing he understands is a physical ...
10
votes
3answers
825 views

How do we address other adults telling my son to ask us to bring him to their house?

My sister-in-law has developed a habit both my wife and I find annoying: in order to try and get us to come to their house more often, she constantly pulls my son aside when they're leaving from a ...
10
votes
2answers
517 views

Different discipline approaches by working mommy and stay-home daddy

I work at home (although me being independent is almost a euphemism for being unemployed). My wife is the primary breadwinner in our household. My wife is also currently under a lot of stress, as ...
9
votes
6answers
6k views

How much time with friends (away from family) is reasonable?

My wife and I have been married ten years. We have a son who is about to turn four next month, and another one on the way (due five months from now). For all the time we've been married, I've had ...
9
votes
3answers
939 views

Should I push my parents to divorce? [closed]

My father suffers from depression, my mother and I constantly try to help him. Five years ago my grandmother, that is his mother, unexpectedly died, and my grandfather's Alzheimer's became evident. ...
9
votes
3answers
2k views

How can I help my parents?

Hope this is the right place to ask this question because it's upside down: I'm the child and don't know how to help my parents, so I need an advice. My parents have always had a lots of arguments ...
9
votes
1answer
694 views

Building a better relationship between half siblings for a more unified home?

My step son is 5. He's still struggling with the seperation of his parents. We have all been trying to reassure him in this home that he is loved. His father takes him for outings, sometimes, due to ...
8
votes
6answers
1k views

How to deal with my parents frequently getting mad at my life choices?

I’m 26 and I find both of my parents get mad at me for very bad reasons. For example, I was visiting my mom. In a mad tone she told me to stop playing a game on my phone. Just realizing it now, I find ...
8
votes
2answers
3k views

What to do when there's a conflict between my husband and my 14-year-old daughter?

My husband and I have been married for 8 years. We have 4 kids (2 are from previous relationships.) My daughter is the oldest at 14. Her biological dad isn't around, so my husband is the only father ...
8
votes
3answers
439 views

My child said to my wifes face that he loves his grandmother (wifes mom) more than her, can you offer some advice how to deal with this?

My wife and I are feeling hurt, because my 5-year-old son said the other night that he loves his grandma (my wife's mom) more than my wife. He said this to her face. She has been in a very bad place ...
8
votes
3answers
1k views

Why does my son (5) suddenly provoke me although everything seemed to be perfect before?

My son (5) sometimes changes his mood suddenly. Sure this is somehow normal human behavior, but it can drive us mad. This morning everything worked great and "peacefully" until breakfast. After ...
8
votes
3answers
2k views

How do you handle a conflict between your child and a teacher?

How do you approach resolving a situation where a teacher and your child are having a major conflict? When your child comes to you complaining about "unfair treatment" from a teacher, how do you ...
8
votes
4answers
707 views

How to handle value mis-alignment between parents and kids?

I'm (kinda) asking this question for my parents and family. My parents and I share very different values. For example, I think we should replace our old washing machine with a new, energy-efficient ...
7
votes
2answers
532 views

How to handle child's apology for something he says he didn't do

I have a nephew who's in kindergarden. He's shy and dislikes conflict, when other boys get loud, he goes away to where it's quieter. Another boy accused him of having kicked him; he says he didn't do ...
7
votes
4answers
8k views

How concerned should I be about husband's anger display around baby?

My husband got angry at me during an argument yesterday and threw his keyboard (in shattered) and ripped down the whiteboard (may have thrown it, I don't know. We had left the room) on the wall and ...
6
votes
4answers
18k views

8-year-old refuses to blow his nose

My 8-year-old son constantly has a runny nose. When he sniffles and I hear it, I'll usually ask him to blow his nose. Sometimes he starts arguing and whining as soon as I ask - for some reason he ...
6
votes
2answers
848 views

My son calls my father in law Grandpa “nonno” (in italian) and his wife (step grandma) is telling my son to call him just Grandpa now not nonno

My son has always called his grandma (my mother-in-law) the Italian word for grandma, "nonna" and his grandpa "nonno", the Italian word for grandpa. Recently my son called his grandpa "nonno" in front ...
6
votes
3answers
811 views

How do I express my feelings about my 15-year-old daughter's rude boyfriend?

My 15-year-old daughter always has her boyfriend around the house and I don't like the way he talks to her and my family, as the man of the house I would like to show that I am dominant and show that ...