As of May 31, 2023, we have updated our Code of Conduct.

Questions tagged [conflict]

Habits or opinions that cause disagreement, and how to resolve those differences.

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41 votes
5 answers
6k views

How to talk to parents about my mental health

18-year-old teen here with no children, I'm asking this question here on how to better communicate with my parents. My mental health took a massive dip during the Pandemic and I'm still working on it. ...
7 votes
3 answers
362 views

6-year-old loves making her little sister cry by dialogue

We have two daughters: O. (6 years) Y. (4 years) We have the impression that O. leaves no opportunity to intentionally make Y. cry. This includes physical acts like hitting/pinching/taking things ...
3 votes
2 answers
1k views

How can I get my kid to stop whistling...so much?

I know this makes me sound like a jerk, but it feels nuanced and I really am trying to learn and grow. Some added context: He is using the handflute, or 'hand ocarina' method He does it very ...
1 vote
1 answer
219 views

Older sib is emotionally abusive to younger sib. I am looking for effective strategies to prevent and ameliorate this

Emotional blackmail Gaslighting Manipulation Blatant lying* Victim blaming Physical domineering** *By blatant lying, I mean telling a lie that you can't possibly think the other party actually ...
3 votes
1 answer
3k views

How to best deal with kids ringing doorbell and running away?

I don't talk with my neighbours much besides the occasional hello and wave when we see each other outside. I live in a neighbourhood of townhouses. 2 boys (age low elementary school, I dunno grade 3 ...
3 votes
2 answers
265 views

How to play and spend time with kids

I got a 6-year-old and 23 months old, I am guilty of not spending time with my kids because I do not know how to. My son is very good at the following instruction, I got him to switch gaming consoles ...
-2 votes
3 answers
9k views

How to treat an 18 year old girl who avoids being with family and likes being with their friend?

I am asking this question on behalf of my friend, who has an 18 year old daughter. She has always been talking to me about her daughter, and whenever she talks about her, she cries. The girl was like ...
7 votes
2 answers
695 views

How to teach my 22 year old stepson to communicate instead of burning inside?

I became stepdad to an adult boy (22) (I am not the biological dad). He didn't have anyone to teach him or a father-like figure since his dad passed away when he was 7. He never went to college or ...
2 votes
1 answer
209 views

My 5 years old being very difficult

My son is almost 6 and is very choosy and in everything he cries, I saw him playing in school (as U.K. school doesn't allow parents to go in and see their kids) but now I came to my home country and ...
2 votes
3 answers
528 views

I'm worried that my 2-year-old granddaughter is extremely aggressive

I am very worried about my 2-year-old granddaughter (she will be 3 years old in 3 months). Anytime she gets in trouble she laughs no matter how she is disciplined. Her parents have tried talking to ...
-2 votes
3 answers
330 views

I'm in deep trouble with a family [closed]

We are still in high school and very immature, we say lewd jokes about our friend's gfs to tease our friends or piss them of. I have said it in some of my messages, examples of what I said were, &...
6 votes
2 answers
570 views

Is my mom overly controlling?

I just wanted some help. I’m 18. Lately I have been really confused if my mother is overtly controlling or I’m just a frustrated teen or it is dysfunctional household. I really don’t know where to ...
3 votes
2 answers
266 views

Selling a house post-divorce

I am 22 years old, an only child, and haven't lived with my parents (save for the summer months) since I started college in 2017. I am graduated as of 2020 and I have a stable and well paying job in a ...
2 votes
1 answer
497 views

When should I intervene in conflicts between my children and other relatives?

I have a problem that whenever I want to speak and need to speak giving my advice, idea, or argument my heart races, hands shake and I get dry mouth hence leaving me unable to do it. Currently, our ...
4 votes
4 answers
1k views

How do I convince my strict parents to allow me to do things as a 17 year old?

I’m 17 and I have my driver's license and I’m legally old enough for many things. However, my parents have not allowed me to drive ever since I upgraded from my permit to my license. I have also been ...
35 votes
14 answers
12k views

How do I address a teacher humiliating my son by calling him a "tattletale"?

My friend recently shared this experience, and I thought it would be a good question for our site: So, [my son] got in trouble in school today. It seems that the kids were lined up in the hallway, ...
3 votes
1 answer
445 views

How do I tell my parents I don't agree with their beliefs? [duplicate]

I am a 15-year-old and this is my problem : I was raised in an extremely Christian environment, I had no problem following what my parents and the church thought was best for me. About three years ago ...
4 votes
1 answer
584 views

How to help a pre-schooler overcome sensitivity to social setbacks?

My son (3yrs 9 months) is bright and generally happy, but sensitive and sometimes acutely anxious. The sensitivity worries me a little for the future. If something in a social context doesn't go his ...
9 votes
3 answers
1k views

My child said to my wifes face that he loves his grandmother (wifes mom) more than her, can you offer some advice how to deal with this?

My wife and I are feeling hurt, because my 5-year-old son said the other night that he loves his grandma (my wife's mom) more than my wife. He said this to her face. She has been in a very bad place ...
3 votes
2 answers
318 views

Toddler's inner conflict with himself

Our son is 2.5 years old. At this age I expected him to start disagreeing with his mother and me, but although he does, occasionally, he seems to be disagreeing with himself more. Especially when he ...
3 votes
1 answer
339 views

How to help mom deal with disrespectful and uncooperative sister?

I am a 23-year old college senior that temporarily returned from college during quarantine. Due to logistical necessity, since my brother moved into my former room when I left, I've been sleeping on ...
1 vote
1 answer
217 views

"I don't like this" vs. "Leave me alone"

My two pre-schoolers (almost 4, almost 5) sometimes play rough with each other, e.g. when fighting over some toy. When one of them asks us parents for help, it's sometimes part of the game (they want ...
3 votes
4 answers
331 views

Four Year Old - Won't listen, cries frequently, incredibly stubborn

I have two children, a four year old and a two year old. Both my kids are sweet and kind hearted. However, the 4yo has suffered from separation anxiety in the past and has a very stubborn personality. ...
1 vote
2 answers
212 views

How to teach kids that loud voices are nothing to be scared of

If parents are habituated to raising their voice when disagreeing with their partner, in the presence of kids, it appears that the kids are visibly distressed due to this. It is clear that its the ...
6 votes
4 answers
30k views

8-year-old refuses to blow his nose

My 8-year-old son constantly has a runny nose. When he sniffles and I hear it, I'll usually ask him to blow his nose. Sometimes he starts arguing and whining as soon as I ask - for some reason he ...
0 votes
3 answers
341 views

How to protect my children from abusive mother?

I am looking for some urgent advice with how to proceed. My wife is constantly emotionally and physically abusive to both my 3 and 5-year-old. She belittles both, plays favorites, talks about her ...
11 votes
9 answers
9k views

How to deal with parents that enforce a curfew on an adult

So my parents, especially my mother, feel the need to control many aspects of my life because "I'm not responsible", which is at least partially true. Completely ignoring the fact that I'm never going ...
6 votes
3 answers
1k views

How do I express my feelings about my 15-year-old daughter's rude boyfriend?

My 15-year-old daughter always has her boyfriend around the house and I don't like the way he talks to her and my family, as the man of the house I would like to show that I am dominant and show that ...
8 votes
2 answers
4k views

What to do when there's a conflict between my husband and my 14-year-old daughter?

My husband and I have been married for 8 years. We have 4 kids (2 are from previous relationships.) My daughter is the oldest at 14. Her biological dad isn't around, so my husband is the only father ...
3 votes
3 answers
495 views

Should I be concerned about my 6-year-old daughter resolving most of things with crying or yelling?

My 6-year-old daughter is generally a very optimistic, probably happy, smiling kid which likes to play with her sister and others. But... only until everything goes according to her expectations. ...
4 votes
2 answers
534 views

How to deal with a pre-travel conflict with my mother about overpacking?

I am 22 years of age and living at home while I finish my degree. My upcoming trip (with family) begins to take shape. I will be travelling with my mother for roughly 2 1/2 weeks (the first half of ...
5 votes
1 answer
795 views

How can I make my parents understand that once I finish my studies, everything will be fine?

My parents are not highly educated. They have gone to primary school only. Also, my family's financial condition is poor. But now the condition is improving gradually. Fortunately, I am good at study. ...
11 votes
3 answers
2k views

When my kids don't get along; what are some options besides punishment that can be effective beyond 5 minutes?

I have an 8-year-old daughter and a 5-year-old son. Sometimes my kids get along great, but like most sometimes they clash. I've been trying to work on substitutions to my usual model of rewards and ...
5 votes
1 answer
3k views

How to implement natural consequences to make an 8-year-old stop being rude to a sibling?

I have an 8-year-old son, a 6- and a 2-year-old daughter. My son is a model student but really likes to argue. He's extremely stubborn and always right. When he argues with me, I'll correct him and ...
20 votes
5 answers
4k views

Is it a good approach to have a policy of apologizing for yelling at a kid?

A couple of times I encountered situation where people had a following policy If a parent yells at a kid out of frustration with no meaningful reason (e.g. the kid just got on their nerves but ...
4 votes
5 answers
10k views

How to react when two toddlers fight over the same toy?

Your children are playing happily. Suddenly, you hear them yelling and notice that they both grab on to the same toy and fight over it. You don't know who "had it first" and, thus, has some kind of "...
14 votes
4 answers
1k views

How to minimize the negative impact on our child when we parents argue?

My wife and I have an 8-month-old baby boy. Having a fight, for example debating, is something that we don't want to do. But sometimes, we can't avoid having a fight in front of our son. When the ...
14 votes
1 answer
697 views

How to deal with my son calling me on the telephone when he is in a fight with his mother?

I am divorced and have an 8-year-old son. Our son lives half of the time with me, half of the time with his mother. Communication between us parents is good, there is no conflict of any kind, and we ...
8 votes
6 answers
4k views

How to deal with my parents frequently getting mad at my life choices?

I’m 26 and I find both of my parents get mad at me for very bad reasons. For example, I was visiting my mom. In a mad tone she told me to stop playing a game on my phone. Just realizing it now, I find ...
11 votes
6 answers
3k views

How do I explain the difference in responsibilities and privileges between the oldest and youngest child?

"It's not fair, why can't I do/have it as well?" This must be the recurring question that annoys me the most. Why can't the youngest do or have the same things as the eldest. Why does the eldest have ...
6 votes
1 answer
2k views

How to bring my 23-year-old daughter to an adult discussion with me and her mother about issues?

Summary I was witness to a banal argument between my 23-year-old daughter and her mum which has lead to a three month impasse, whereby my daughter has installed herself in my small apartment with the ...
8 votes
4 answers
863 views

How to handle value mis-alignment between parents and kids?

I'm (kinda) asking this question for my parents and family. My parents and I share very different values. For example, I think we should replace our old washing machine with a new, energy-efficient ...
1 vote
1 answer
575 views

Should I tell my son about his biological father?

I am a mother of 5 children, in the order of a boy (10), 3 girls(7,5,3), and a baby boy just born a few months ago. I met my husband 10 years ago, 7 months before my first boy was born. Before that, ...
4 votes
2 answers
1k views

How to deal with extreme misbehavior of younger siblings?

I have a 3-year-old, a 5-year-old and an 11-year-old who have just been the most exceptionally worst behaved children on this planet. Between the 3- and 5-year-olds, they backchat, break things, have ...
2 votes
1 answer
357 views

Can I avoid nice clothing being a source of argument?

My middle child (seven years old) hates dressing up. Well... sort of. He likes shopping for dressy clothing (slacks, vest, button-down shirt, tie) and has a respectable collection. He'll even ...
3 votes
2 answers
356 views

Daughter's reluctance to come to my place during a quasi-separation - impact on social life

My wife and I are in a kind of quasi-separation situation. My wife is emotionally abusive, resorting to the silent treatment, gaslighting and projection regularly. She moved to a different city with ...
5 votes
3 answers
383 views

During and after a separation - explaining to children who their "family" is

My wife and I are in a kind of quasi-separation that is likely to lead to divorce. She has been and is emotionally abusive (the silent treatment, projection and gaslighting being what she does most), ...
-1 votes
4 answers
494 views

6 year old doesn't know my husband is not her father

I have a 6 years old daughter that is not the daughter of my husband. My daughter doesn't know. Nobody else knows except my husband. I want to tell my daughter some day that my husband is not her ...
0 votes
0 answers
133 views

How to resolve the conflict when my wife wants another baby and I don't, at all? [duplicate]

I'm 46 and my wife is 36. I met my wife when she was 28 and I was 38. I already had a 2-year-old child from a previous relationship at the time. When my wife hit 30, she was desperate for children, so ...
1 vote
0 answers
514 views

I got a vasectomy after our 3rd child. Now, my wife wants a 4th child, but I don't [duplicate]

My wife and I (both 38 years old) have been married for 8 years now and we have 3 amazing kids (all under the age of 8). We really could not ask for more. Like any couple, we have gone through our ups ...