Questions tagged [behavior]

Why do children act the way they do? Use [discipline] for questions about enforcing your rules.

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111
votes
22answers
36k views

Son was sent home from sleepover for behavior

I need some help with turning a very disappointing event into a learning opportunity. Last night my 9-year-old son was to spend the night with my neighbor's son, and the neighbor's girlfriend's kids. ...
100
votes
15answers
35k views

How can I prevent my 8-year-old from spending time with his bad friend?

Backstory: My 8 yr old son is a bright, gentle, etc, kid who attends public school. My wife and I have no TV, we disallow violent games (simulated killing is not allowed), we don't have video games, ...
88
votes
11answers
26k views

Why don't children know why they do things?

I have a 7 year old son. He routinely disobeys instructions, I am not some strict task master that is always asking him to do stuff but I need him to listen to the things I ask him for his benefit as ...
88
votes
6answers
22k views

Grandparents want our three year old daughter to throw tantrums like her cousin did

When my nephew was a toddler/pre-schooler, he had major separation anxiety issues and tantrums. Specifically, whenever his grandparents or we (his aunt and uncle) visited him, he'd never let us leave ...
70
votes
15answers
20k views

How to answer my 5 year old why I can tell her what she has to do, and why she can't tell me what to do

In the morning there are lots of things to be done before heading off to preschool. I'm acting like a policeman every morning to get those things done and to push my child to go out. Every day I have ...
68
votes
16answers
6k views

Is bribing children with cash incentives a good idea?

I pay my 5.5-year-old $1 if she sleeps in her own bed and take $1 in rent when she sleeps in our bed. I've also taken to offering her $1 to pick up her 2.5-year-old brother's Lego messes. Good or ...
57
votes
4answers
14k views

My 4-year-old refers to himself as me

Literally. Sometimes he will ascribe himself properties I have, and make me the child--he'll say "I'm a grown-up", "You can't sit in the front seat [in our car], it's not safe, I have to sit in the ...
56
votes
11answers
76k views

12 year old boy is totally out of control

My seventh grader screamed "Fuck you" at me last night. I am at the end of my rope. His behavior is so bad I feel like I need to send him away to a boarding school or something because he is causing ...
49
votes
25answers
65k views

Why does my daughter smile and start to laugh at me when I am noticeably really angry at her?

My daughter is 11 years old and has been diagnosed with high functioning austism along with sensory processing disorder. I am a single father and have raised her alone since she was two years old. We ...
48
votes
8answers
16k views

Do parents get punishment too?

Just because we are parents does not mean we are infallible. We are definitely capable of bad behavior and sometimes our children see or are affected by it. If we do something wrong that we would ...
47
votes
14answers
14k views

How should I inform parents if their children are bothering me?

Today, on the bus, I was seated a row behind a mother and her young daughter (I guess about 5-6 years old), and the child just couldn't stay quiet: she was singing constantly, saying "byebye, please ...
47
votes
11answers
7k views

Should I really be insisting that my daughter finish eating her meal?

Like many young children, my 4.5 year old daughter will often stop eating her supper (6 PMish - she has breakfast and lunch at daycare) and say she's not hungry. My instinctive initial response is to ...
43
votes
6answers
103k views

My son is 5 years old and sexually active

I am a 20 year old female student and I have a 5 year old son who is really sexually active. For instance, he kisses girls by force, he forces them to lick his penis, he "fingers" them, he speaks ...
41
votes
10answers
10k views

Is it possible to spoil a child, but still teach them not to behave spoiled?

My 9-year-old stepson has terrible tantrums. I was abused as a child and used to act out as a result. Teachers and other adults were very hostile to me and failed to recognize my cries for help. So ...
41
votes
5answers
8k views

Should I let my child play with gun toys?

I've noticed a great many parents do everything within their power to prevent their children playing with toy guns and weapons. As a 30-something, I grew up with toy swords, bows and guns, action men (...
40
votes
6answers
24k views

3 year-old boy wants constant attention, hits and deliberately poops in underpants when he doesn't get it

I have a nearly 3-year-old boy whose energy has become near-limitless, coupled with new neediness, aggression, and defiance. He wants to run around and be played with for the entire day. He is unable ...
39
votes
8answers
305k views

How can we discipline a strong-willed, misbehaving 5 year-old?

My 5 year old son receives and fears punishment but repeatedly exhibits the same unacceptable behaviors. He's always been strong-willed, and is usually the kind to view a statement like "Don't do ...
38
votes
15answers
15k views

Why do I have negative feelings about my mother?

I am a 16 year old boy. My parents are divorced, my father didn't treat my mother well; he beat her and he thought she was cheating on him when she in fact never did. My mother tried to cope with him ...
37
votes
7answers
12k views

Why is trying to talk children out of how they feel a bad idea?

The article 7 Parenting Essentials says, Accept your children’s feelings. ... Instead, comfort your children and let them know you love them, rather than try to talk them out of how they ...
37
votes
6answers
16k views

Do most 2-3-year-old toddlers deliberately disobey?

We have two daughters, 2 and 3 years old, 13 months apart. Our oldest has over the past several months taken to the "I'd rather do precisely the opposite of what you just asked me to do" mindset. ...
36
votes
11answers
13k views

My 2-year-old son supervises me after asking me to do something for him, does this suggest lack of trust?

Since his birth I've done my best to make my son trust me completely as I see it the only way for him to let me make decisions on his behalf and tell him what's right and wrong. However he supervises ...
36
votes
8answers
4k views

What are some suggestions for punishing a child? [closed]

My daughters are clearly pushing the boundaries lately. They are trying to find out what is possible. I am really looking into ways to setting the boundaries. A friend recently suggested creating a ...
36
votes
10answers
266k views

Why does my baby grind her face into my shoulder?

During episodes of fussiness, my 6-week-old daughter has started grinding her face into my chest or shoulder. She shakes vigorously from side to side like she's trying to burrow out the other side. ...
35
votes
10answers
8k views

How can 7-year old defend himself when toddler is hitting?

I am a mother to a 7 year old boy and I have a friend who has a 2 years toddler. Both my friend and I try our best to use the Conscious and Peaceful Parenting Approach. Her little daughter is lovely ...
35
votes
7answers
14k views

Is it normal that my 2.5-year-old son still likes breastfeeding?

I have been breastfeeding my son since he was born up to now at 2 years old. I noticed that he really enjoys being fed and playing with my nipple. When he gets upset and I hold him, he will put his ...
35
votes
6answers
4k views

How do you handle unsupervised, poorly behaved children in public play areas?

This is closely related to this question. However, that primarily deals with interactions at relatively controlled, private functions. This question is more focused on the feeding-frenzy style chaos ...
35
votes
3answers
12k views

How do you handle poor behavior by other people's children?

I believe that interacting with a variety of other children at social functions is an important part of childhood development. However, there seem to be a lot of children who are... how shall I ...
34
votes
11answers
19k views

How to handle my little brother's addiction to videogames?

Here is a bit of context to start with: I live 150 km away from my little brother. My father got remarried to another woman, with whom he had my little brother (let's call him 'Marc'). Since we grew ...
32
votes
5answers
7k views

How do you handle grandparents who spoil your children?

Our parents suddenly don't apply their rules in our upbringing to our children. On the contrary. How should we deal with this? Do we just let it be, or should we discuss the matter. I understand ...
30
votes
14answers
15k views

How to deal with my 12 year old son being allegedly caught cheating at school

My son, 12, is a good student who always gets A's. He takes his schoolwork very seriously and does his homework on time. Today I received a shocking call from his teacher that he was caught cheating....
29
votes
15answers
5k views

How do you feed a picky eater?

Dinner with my 5-year-old is an ordeal. I do not want to cook separate meals. How do I stop the fighting at dinner and get them to eat?
29
votes
6answers
3k views

In Rural India; 14 yo daughter broke her friendship due to her feelings on homosexuality. What to do?

How do I help my daughter understand that being lesbian or gay is normal and as acceptable as being straight? I have a 14-year-old step-daughter who has come here 20 days back to visit us. We live in ...
27
votes
8answers
18k views

How to tell my 4-year-old son not to get hyper with his uncle or anyone except parents?

My brother in law is a cocky, arrogant person. The way I see it, my son plays with him and they laugh and play really loud, but suddenly he has change of mood like flicking a switch. As 4-year-olds do ...
27
votes
6answers
536k views

What to do when my 3-year-old holds poop in and won't go in diaper or on potty?

My son is almost 3 (33 months) and for the past few months, he has been holding his poop in, to the point that he won't go for many days a time. When this started, the doctor advised us to give him ...
26
votes
9answers
19k views

How to get my 4yo daughter's fixation on my belly button under control?

I don't know where to begin with this question. It's awkward and to be honest, it makes me feel rather uncomfortable. Simply put, I'm led to believe that my four year old daughter is obsessed with my ...
26
votes
8answers
4k views

Why are parents so concerned about profanity around their children?

I've spent some time around parents of children in the 2months to 6 years range. And both were quite diligent about having me watch what I said, in particular around profanity. Why the concern? For ...
26
votes
11answers
16k views

How to deal with a teenager who wants his parents to buy him everything his friends have?

How do I teach my son the value of money and to differentiate between a need and a want? The problem I am facing is that he is 19 years old, not 5 years old. He is my youngest son and to be honest I ...
26
votes
7answers
7k views

6 year old is suddenly (shockingly) rude

I am not a parent yet, however, this is about "How I should behave with a 6-year-old who is suddenly very rude to me" The story: I am from India and I am Dark, (you can check out my profile) and ...
25
votes
10answers
179k views

My 5 year- old daughter is constantly defiant!

My 5-year old daughter is very defiant. It started getting bad about 6 months ago. She doesn't do what she is told, and any time she hears the word "no" she throws terrible, dramatic fits, screaming ...
25
votes
9answers
7k views

Why do kids pick up on violence in cartoons/movies?

Why is it that children seem to pick up and mimic even the tiniest examples violence on TV? It's like a golden beacon of what not to do and they seem to be just magnetized towards it. Let me try to ...
25
votes
7answers
3k views

How do you stop a child from talking back without discouraging them from asserting themselves?

Our 3.5 yo is starting to talk back to us in the typical futile yes/no/yes/no pattern of opposites. The other day it was hooking his straps on his car seat; I asked him to put his arms in (like we ...
24
votes
10answers
19k views

18-month-old kicked out of church nursery

Our 18-month old was kicked out of our church's nursery where we send him during worship services & church classes. He's kicked out unless one of us are in there with him, which makes it difficult ...
23
votes
11answers
40k views

How to handle an 11 year-old son who acts like a girl?

I have an 11 year-old son who is showing a tendency towards becoming gay. People have seen him walking like a girl, but I haven't. I'm thinking that they are just judgmental. On his computer games ...
23
votes
8answers
17k views

How much should I interact with my newborn?

I have a 2 month old baby. My wife and I take care of him collectively. As he is growing, his sleep time is reducing. Sometimes, due to our schedules, we want him to sleep, but the baby is still ...
23
votes
9answers
7k views

Ways to convince a teenager to quit smoking

I'm 23 years old and I have a sister that is very soon turning 17. She lives with my parents and I live abroad for a couple of years now. My mother noticed that my sister started smoking around 1 ...
22
votes
3answers
1k views

5yr old Addicted to Mobile Devices - Need Advice!

So it started when he was 2yrs old, we gave him his first bad habit.. eating while watching youtube videos. It worked, he ate well..like a zombie. (Parent Fail #1). Now at 5, he LOVES playing a ...
21
votes
9answers
8k views

Why should children be rewarded for good behaviour?

I have been reading about star charts and other reward systems for children, and wonder whether rewarding what I would call normal behaviour (e.g. do your chores, don't hit your little brother, etc) ...
21
votes
6answers
27k views

How to stop my preschooler from constantly running away

We have a very active 4-year-old. She has a will of her own though with what she wants to do, and there's one thing in particular that I find I don't know what to do: she's constantly running away. ...
20
votes
11answers
1k views

What is a good strategy for getting our 5 year old to finish dinner before expecting dessert?

More and more lately, I'm finding that our 5-year old daughter starts asking for dessert before she's finished her dinner. Obviously, I'd like to find a way to manage this without it ending in a fit....
19
votes
1answer
3k views

Why does my son behave better when he's alone with one parent than with both?

Whenever I'm alone with my son, we play, have fun, and he even plays alone with his toys for a long time; this also happens when my wife is alone with him. However, when we are both present, he ...