Questions tagged [adult-child]

Age specific questions from about 17 years and up. Younger: teen.

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128
votes
11answers
40k views

I am 21 and I am terrified beyond belief of my father

I am a 21 year old female living in Egypt and I am beyond terrified of my own father...at least I think he is my father. To say it shortly, I think I might have been adopted at a young age and no one ...
67
votes
24answers
26k views

Should I buy my college child a vehicle when I can afford to or make him earn it on his own?

I never got things handed to me growing up. I know what it means to have something. To earn something. I also want the best for my child. I want to provide a better life than what I had. What's a ...
63
votes
8answers
65k views

My 21-year-old adult son hates me

My adult son, who is 21, expects me to do everything he wants. He takes no responsibility for his actions, instead always finding a way to put the blame on me and or others. For example, he brought ...
45
votes
30answers
15k views

My pre-schooler is out of control, and I feel like my parents are undermining my relationship and authority with her

Alright, I guess a little back story would help. I am a single mother and an only child, I will be 21 in a few months. I've graduated high school with honors and have been raising my daughter on my ...
39
votes
9answers
19k views

Condoms in a care package: Parents advice

Following a bit of advice in Meta, I wanted to ask for the advice that parents who have this experience (or know who has) what is best. I am strictly not looking for opinions about whether this is ...
35
votes
8answers
14k views

I don't like my mom and she is coming to stay with me, how to prevent it or handle in the best way?

My mother used to taunt me for not being a good student and my stutter, maybe that was her way of taking our her frustration, in my senior secondary school she took it so far that I had to think about ...
35
votes
4answers
20k views

I don't want to be an involved grandparent. How do I let my son know?

I know I'm in a small minority when I say I'm NOT excited to be a grandparent. I've never really liked children, and used to be determined against having any of my own. But mainly because my husband ...
30
votes
9answers
8k views

Should 18+ kids still have a tight schema for bed and PC-usage?

I'm not a parent, or in any parenting position. I am however kind of worried because of some rules in the house. I've been 18 for a few months now. And I still have quite a tight schema for bed and PC-...
28
votes
14answers
42k views

How can we manage our adult son taking back an item we confiscated, without our knowledge, when he has moved out?

My husband and I helped our son pay for an iPod Touch three years ago, paying $100. He paid the other half. About a year ago, our young daughter found images of nude girls in the screenshot gallery on ...
27
votes
8answers
19k views

How to deal with a teenager who wants his parents to buy him everything his friends have?

How do I teach my son the value of money and to differentiate between a need and a want? The problem I am facing is that he is 19 years old, not 5 years old. He is my youngest son and to be honest I ...
24
votes
11answers
23k views

Should adults pay rent if they live in their parents' home?

If your grownup children still live at home, should they share cost of living in the common household?
22
votes
10answers
15k views

Can a son share a bed with his girlfriend, at 27?

Your son is 27 and due to financial problems, you've invited him to move home. His 30 year old girlfriend is coming to stay. Should you oppose them sharing his double bed during her visit? This ...
20
votes
7answers
5k views

Mom Reading My Texts and Emails

I was in a hotel room with my mom, me on my phone and her on my iPad. My iPad is linked to my phone, so it receives and stores all my text messages. I happened to glance over at her and saw she was ...
18
votes
5answers
911 views

How can I be more meaningful in my thanks to my parents?

I see a lot of posts about people requiring help with their children/parents/grandparents, and I'm blessed to say that I have none of these problems. My issue is that I was a terror as a child. I ...
16
votes
6answers
8k views

Mother in law making us feel guilty about money

We have a mother in law who always makes uncomfortable comments about things we've purchased, such as our TV. We're a single income family with two children living in an apartment. We have no debt ...
16
votes
6answers
22k views

My parents are upset that I don't visit enough. I live four hours away and I do not want to spend time with them. What should I do?

I am 26 and I moved out of my parents' house almost three months ago. I am happy that I am finally out on my own, supporting myself financially and starting my life as an independent adult. My ...
14
votes
11answers
32k views

How can we ask our 22-year-old son to leave?

I am 53 years old and my wife is 47 years old and we have a 22-year-old son. We have huge problems with him. He has changed universities three times and now he is in a college. He drops his courses, ...
14
votes
4answers
3k views

How to stop parents from interfering with my love life?

Well - I am not entirely sure if this is the right forum, but if you know any, I would really appreciate if you could recommend me some. This is about parenting... from the son's perspective. I am ...
14
votes
3answers
2k views

What kind of impact have parental quarrels on children?

What kind of impact (permanent or temporary) can parental quarrels have over a child on the short-term and on the long-term? I wish to know if some studies have been done on the matter. Answers with ...
13
votes
4answers
2k views

20 yo daughter left home to live with a "bad" girl - what should I do?

My daughter of 20 left home a week ago when I found out she had been seeing a friend I disapprove of completely. Countless arguments, violence, police, stealing, and lying are some of this girls ...
13
votes
5answers
5k views

Why does my mother expect me to behave like others and herself?

I am 30 years old married. My mother (50 years old) keeps on telling me that *"Your cousin didn’t have problems with that then why are you having problems with the same thing/situation!"* *"I (...
13
votes
6answers
2k views

Should I financially assist my child in paying for college? [closed]

In Short I’m wondering if there is any research to support the idea that paying for a child to attend college leads to a more desirable outcome than allowing them to pay their own way (either via ...
13
votes
2answers
9k views

How to make my parents stop interfering with my life in every way?

I am 21 years old and came to my home country, Azerbaijan, after studying in the US. I have changed my beliefs and built my own set of rules to live my life. The life brought me a phase where I had to ...
11
votes
9answers
7k views

How to deal with parents that enforce a curfew on an adult

So my parents, especially my mother, feel the need to control many aspects of my life because "I'm not responsible", which is at least partially true. Completely ignoring the fact that I'm never going ...
11
votes
4answers
2k views

When do you encourage your children to move out?

I recently met a guy, age 40, still living with his parents. In the gossip circuit this was considered inappropriate. But is it really? And if so, when does sharing a household with your grownup ...
11
votes
2answers
26k views

How do I deal with rude or uncooperative siblings?

This is a bit of a tricky one but here goes: I'm in my mid-twenties and (for various reasons) currently live at home with both parents, my 15 year old sister, and my 17 year old brother. I regularly ...
11
votes
3answers
7k views

How to help parents cope with me moving out

Let me preface by saying I'm not entirely sure if I'm asking this in the right place and I'm very emotional right now, I apologize if my post is in disarray or if this question is not within scope of ...
11
votes
4answers
3k views

I'm tired of living a double life with my parents. How can I set boundaries with them?

I am very stressed and tired. I feel this weight on my shoulder, and recently because of several factors have built moderate fibromyalgia and am anxious, with weekly crying spells. One of those ...
10
votes
8answers
13k views

How to convince an adult son that pot and LSD, even used sparingly is not acceptable

We have a child who has gone off to college and did not perform well his first year. We also found out during this time that he smoked pot in high school a little, and during his freshman year at ...
10
votes
6answers
1k views

Parents pressuring me to choose a major

Just as some background: both of my parents are engineers, they pushed math on me throughout high school (I participated in math competitions, I liked it; I've also been really active on Math SE ...
10
votes
4answers
1k views

Should I let my adult daughter know that I am her biological father?

My daughter is 33 years old. She has grown up in a normal loving family and knows me as both a family friend and godparent. Her parents had fertility issues so I helped them have a child. All ...
10
votes
3answers
3k views

How do I stop hiding things from my overprotective parents?

My parents are...protective. For context, I was 18 before I was allowed to go to someone else's house without their parents being home, and 12 when I was allowed in the back yard alone. ...
10
votes
2answers
2k views

How much should a 26 y.o. adult child assist their parents?

I have a friend who is a 26 year old single guy who makes a good amount of money, not six figures but a close amount. He bought a 3 bedroom house and has a solid career, and on top of his apps and ...
9
votes
6answers
2k views

Son 22 asks me how to deal with a friend with benefits, so that she does not get hurt [closed]

So my son is seeing a girl as of a couple weeks ago. They go out salsa dancing a lot, which both like, and take salsa classes together. He told me he made it clear to her that a relationship is not ...
9
votes
3answers
4k views

I'm getting distant from my father

I'm 25 years old, my parents got divorced when I was 22 years old. I've been staying with my mother since. My father has moved out and lives quite far from me, so occasionally about once every 2 weeks ...
9
votes
3answers
5k views

How do I handle an absentee parent wanting to build a relationship later in life?

One of my parents (parent 'B') was consistently unreliable in terms of emotional support and educational development when I was growing up; they never wanted to spend time with me and I often felt ...
9
votes
3answers
1k views

How to help my adult son who lives at home, is depressed and withdraws from the outside world?

My 26-year-old son is in trouble. He went to college and graduated. He had a very tough time at school in West Virginia almost to the point of having PTSD now. In high school he was very bright ...
9
votes
2answers
4k views

How to stop my mom and dad from interfering while I drive?

I am 24 and I have had a driver's license since I was 18. My mom and dad bought me a car after I got my license, but I rarely drove it because I went to another town to continue my studies and didn't ...
8
votes
6answers
2k views

How to deal with my parents frequently getting mad at my life choices?

I’m 26 and I find both of my parents get mad at me for very bad reasons. For example, I was visiting my mom. In a mad tone she told me to stop playing a game on my phone. Just realizing it now, I find ...
8
votes
4answers
2k views

What do you do when your parents are physically hurting you?

My girl friend called me scared for her life to day after her parent(s) strangled her. She is 19 years old and cannot support her self on her own. Im not sure what she can do or anything I can do to ...
8
votes
2answers
279 views

How do I reconnect with my separated children?

My marriage ended in divorce and I left my children to their mother in order to keep the peace. Over the years I received mail; emails on birthdays and so on. But I have lost their need to contact ...
7
votes
1answer
3k views

How to handle a bully-daughter-in-law and a henpecked-son?

I'm a single mom for 2 kids. My husband passed a decade ago. Lets name my sons: Arno 34 and Bob 31. Both married, moved out and have a kid each. Bob and his family have settled relatively far away. ...
7
votes
1answer
789 views

Parenting an adult child who has recently experienced great trauma

I am a parent to adult 'children'. I would appreciate any wisdom that can be shared. My youngest and his wife delivered a healthy, normal weight baby on their due date, but on the first full day at ...
7
votes
1answer
561 views

How to approach my adult son and his ex wife about my son's likely fatherhood of her baby when both deny it?

My 21-year-old son is newly divorced. He and his former wife hate each other a lot. Recently, his ex wife started posting pictures on social media of her baby boy just born in November. Which would ...
6
votes
4answers
1k views

Story of a sad mom - adult son who is violent and suffering from depression

Please read my story: a sad mom and let me know what your suggestion is. I have a 23 year old son. Since 7 years ago, my husband and I have had lots of problems with our son. He was living with us ...
6
votes
4answers
1k views

How can I talk with my parents about the amount of chores they expect me to do?

Background My boyfriend of almost 5 years and I are living with my parents until we've found a house. We are both 25. I recently dropped out of university, but found a good job in my field. We both ...
6
votes
3answers
3k views

Father always wants to be right

I am a 22 year old living with my parents. I'm currently in quite a bit of distress as my father has kicked me out. I assume my mom will talk with him when she gets back from her night shift but for ...
6
votes
2answers
2k views

What should one do when their teen thinks smoking e-cigarettes is cool and safe?

This question was inspired by a question about pregnancy and exposure to the second hand products of the smoking device known as e cigarettes. My child has a "friend" we work with at the theater ...
6
votes
3answers
2k views

Don't know what I feel toward my parents

I am a little bit confused about the feelings I have toward my parents. Since my parents started to have some problems with money, the peace in my family was gone. They started to blame their children ...
6
votes
1answer
1k views

How to bring my 23-year-old daughter to an adult discussion with me and her mother about issues?

Summary I was witness to a banal argument between my 23-year-old daughter and her mum which has lead to a three month impasse, whereby my daughter has installed herself in my small apartment with the ...