Questions tagged [adult-child]

Age specific questions from about 17 years and up. Younger: teen.

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5
votes
2answers
446 views

Is my mom overly controlling?

I just wanted some help. I’m 18. Lately I have been really confused if my mother is overtly controlling or I’m just a frustrated teen or it is dysfunctional household. I really don’t know where to ...
6
votes
4answers
1k views

How can I talk with my parents about the amount of chores they expect me to do?

Background My boyfriend of almost 5 years and I are living with my parents until we've found a house. We are both 25. I recently dropped out of university, but found a good job in my field. We both ...
2
votes
2answers
237 views

Selling a house post-divorce

I am 22 years old, an only child, and haven't lived with my parents (save for the summer months) since I started college in 2017. I am graduated as of 2020 and I have a stable and well paying job in a ...
13
votes
6answers
2k views

Should I financially assist my child in paying for college? [closed]

In Short I’m wondering if there is any research to support the idea that paying for a child to attend college leads to a more desirable outcome than allowing them to pay their own way (either via ...
1
vote
1answer
542 views

17 year old son decided he is a girl but previous to coming out has never shown signs of feminine behavior [closed]

My now 18 year old son came out as transgender six months ago. He has never been girly. He is a stinky teenage boy, who does not clean his room, has to be forced to bathe and his voice and manner of ...
11
votes
2answers
26k views

How do I deal with rude or uncooperative siblings?

This is a bit of a tricky one but here goes: I'm in my mid-twenties and (for various reasons) currently live at home with both parents, my 15 year old sister, and my 17 year old brother. I regularly ...
1
vote
1answer
235 views

What's a good approach to a kid who behaves rudely in home

I'm not a parent myself but it is regarding my younger sibling and I don't know where to go with this situation. My younger brother is 20 years old and in his final year of college, currently ...
4
votes
0answers
353 views

How to teach my 22 year old stepson to communicate instead of burning inside?

I became stepdad to an adult boy (22) (I am not the biological dad). He didn't have anyone to teach him or a father-like figure since his dad passed away when he was 7. He never went to college or ...
4
votes
2answers
408 views

Looking for options to deal with 18-yo who refuses to grow up [closed]

My stepdaughter has recently turned 18. She has severe behavioral problems: she urinates in her bedroom, often in her clothes; she starts fires with a lighter; and she refuses to do anything other ...
4
votes
2answers
370 views

As a parent, what do I need to do when my adult child leaves home?

My firstborn will leave home soon and is off to study at a university a few hours away from home. Being a first, this is quite a new situation for me. What we (mostly she herself) have done so far is: ...
11
votes
9answers
7k views

How to deal with parents that enforce a curfew on an adult

So my parents, especially my mother, feel the need to control many aspects of my life because "I'm not responsible", which is at least partially true. Completely ignoring the fact that I'm never going ...
27
votes
8answers
19k views

How to deal with a teenager who wants his parents to buy him everything his friends have?

How do I teach my son the value of money and to differentiate between a need and a want? The problem I am facing is that he is 19 years old, not 5 years old. He is my youngest son and to be honest I ...
1
vote
4answers
24k views

My dad still yells at me as an adult and I don't know how to react because he's my dad [closed]

My dad has always been a "mad person". Recently I was talking with my mom and she said a large reason she divorced with him was because he was always mad. Now, the following is a onetime example but ...
11
votes
4answers
3k views

I'm tired of living a double life with my parents. How can I set boundaries with them?

I am very stressed and tired. I feel this weight on my shoulder, and recently because of several factors have built moderate fibromyalgia and am anxious, with weekly crying spells. One of those ...
4
votes
2answers
358 views

How to deal with a pre-travel conflict with my mother about overpacking?

I am 22 years of age and living at home while I finish my degree. My upcoming trip (with family) begins to take shape. I will be travelling with my mother for roughly 2 1/2 weeks (the first half of ...
1
vote
3answers
816 views

How to deal with teen self-destructive behavior and complete lack of sense of responsibility?

A 18-year-old who is in the final year of high school is exhibiting certain patterns of behavior that seem very troubling. He is currently doing well in school, but I'm afraid that these patterns of ...
2
votes
3answers
595 views

How to help a 20-year old with interest but lack of motivation for school?

(This is actually my problem, but I ask it from the perspective of my parents.) I'm a 20-year old in second year of undergraduation in Computer Science (I wasted the first year though due to alcohol ...
3
votes
2answers
1k views

How to make my 15-year-old daughter want to meet her 39-year-old sister?

Background 39 years ago, a good friend and I had sex and she got pregnant just before I went into the Navy. After three months, I came back from boot camp. I found out she also had slept with my best ...
8
votes
6answers
2k views

How to deal with my parents frequently getting mad at my life choices?

I’m 26 and I find both of my parents get mad at me for very bad reasons. For example, I was visiting my mom. In a mad tone she told me to stop playing a game on my phone. Just realizing it now, I find ...
13
votes
2answers
9k views

How to make my parents stop interfering with my life in every way?

I am 21 years old and came to my home country, Azerbaijan, after studying in the US. I have changed my beliefs and built my own set of rules to live my life. The life brought me a phase where I had to ...
2
votes
4answers
249 views

How to deal with a separated family as an adult child when my parents want me to spend more time with them?

I am a 23-year-old male, my father is working in Town B (for about 2 years now) and he tries to come home every weekend (Friday night - Sunday night), so it's just me and my mother at Town A during ...
4
votes
2answers
2k views

How to teach tact and empathic understanding based communication to an INTJ (overly honest) child?

My daughter is in her early 20's. She has proven to be "overly honest" time and again. She has pretty much remained at an even level since around 10 years old, though, in terms of this issue. While ...
8
votes
4answers
2k views

What do you do when your parents are physically hurting you?

My girl friend called me scared for her life to day after her parent(s) strangled her. She is 19 years old and cannot support her self on her own. Im not sure what she can do or anything I can do to ...
3
votes
2answers
499 views

How can I help my mother realize her harmful behavior towards my brother?

My 20-year-old brother has some bahavioral problems which cause significant stress to me and my parents. He is short tempered and can not take suggestions even when politely expressed. He turns ...
5
votes
3answers
571 views

How do I get my parents to let me vacation by myself?

I'm planning to take a vacation next month. Since I started planning for it, my parents have continually expressed doubt and concern and generally interfered in the plans. They want to know where and ...
-1
votes
4answers
766 views

How can I help my parents to not waste their lives?

I am posting this here because I feel like it's time to become a "parent" for my parents... I'm 26, my parents are 50 years old. A few months ago when I visited them, it hit me, that they have "empty"...
5
votes
3answers
1k views

Daughter is deciding to have a child with near-total stranger

I have a daughter who has made many, many bad choices in her life. At 26, she has already been in several failed relationships, got addicted to heroin, recovered (6 years now), moved in with a guy ...
6
votes
4answers
1k views

Story of a sad mom - adult son who is violent and suffering from depression

Please read my story: a sad mom and let me know what your suggestion is. I have a 23 year old son. Since 7 years ago, my husband and I have had lots of problems with our son. He was living with us ...
6
votes
1answer
1k views

How to bring my 23-year-old daughter to an adult discussion with me and her mother about issues?

Summary I was witness to a banal argument between my 23-year-old daughter and her mum which has lead to a three month impasse, whereby my daughter has installed herself in my small apartment with the ...
16
votes
6answers
22k views

My parents are upset that I don't visit enough. I live four hours away and I do not want to spend time with them. What should I do?

I am 26 and I moved out of my parents' house almost three months ago. I am happy that I am finally out on my own, supporting myself financially and starting my life as an independent adult. My ...
2
votes
4answers
3k views

How do I help my college age daughter who has gained too much weight at college?

My daughter is now a sophomore in college and I am very concerned about her weight. Prior to starting college, she had always been a healthy weight and athletic and loved playing sports. By the end ...
-2
votes
1answer
453 views

How do you parent an adult child with a horrible ex? [closed]

I have a 46-year-old son. I'm 62 and his father and I divorced 12 years ago, after 34 years of marriage. I have no one but my son to spend holidays with. My ex has a huge family and a girlfriend. Yet ...
4
votes
4answers
515 views

How do I stop my son from drinking any soft or sugary drink?

My son is 25 and studying for a PhD. He has at least 13 cavities that all require fillings. Every dentist and dental hygienist has warned him to stop drinking ANY soft and sugary drinks. But he ...
5
votes
6answers
1k views

My parents got divorced and want financial information from me

I live on my own and am relatively financially stable. A few years ago my parents got divorced. Things didn't go smoothly between them and they went to court a number of times. I never fully ...
2
votes
4answers
1k views

My son's girlfriend has been cheating with my best friend's son. Should I get involved?

Fake names, so it's easier to understand: My son: Bob My son's girlfriend: Alice My best friend's son: Chester They're all 18 and 19. Bob and Chester aren't friends. My best friend told me about the ...
63
votes
8answers
65k views

My 21-year-old adult son hates me

My adult son, who is 21, expects me to do everything he wants. He takes no responsibility for his actions, instead always finding a way to put the blame on me and or others. For example, he brought ...
9
votes
3answers
1k views

How to help my adult son who lives at home, is depressed and withdraws from the outside world?

My 26-year-old son is in trouble. He went to college and graduated. He had a very tough time at school in West Virginia almost to the point of having PTSD now. In high school he was very bright ...
1
vote
2answers
4k views

How should I tell my parents that I smoke?

I'm a 19-year-old man. I have a job and live with uncle and auntie, because my parents don't live in the country I live in. I don't plan to quit smoking, at least for now ,because it does have almost ...
9
votes
2answers
4k views

How to stop my mom and dad from interfering while I drive?

I am 24 and I have had a driver's license since I was 18. My mom and dad bought me a car after I got my license, but I rarely drove it because I went to another town to continue my studies and didn't ...
6
votes
2answers
2k views

What should one do when their teen thinks smoking e-cigarettes is cool and safe?

This question was inspired by a question about pregnancy and exposure to the second hand products of the smoking device known as e cigarettes. My child has a "friend" we work with at the theater ...
11
votes
3answers
7k views

How to help parents cope with me moving out

Let me preface by saying I'm not entirely sure if I'm asking this in the right place and I'm very emotional right now, I apologize if my post is in disarray or if this question is not within scope of ...
-2
votes
3answers
1k views

How to handle my spoiled 20-year-old step-granddaughter and her enabling mother?

My 20-year-old step-granddaughter's father left when she was nine and my husband and I have been there for both of them before, during and after all of their crises, so perhaps I feel more like we are ...
28
votes
14answers
42k views

How can we manage our adult son taking back an item we confiscated, without our knowledge, when he has moved out?

My husband and I helped our son pay for an iPod Touch three years ago, paying $100. He paid the other half. About a year ago, our young daughter found images of nude girls in the screenshot gallery on ...
20
votes
7answers
5k views

Mom Reading My Texts and Emails

I was in a hotel room with my mom, me on my phone and her on my iPad. My iPad is linked to my phone, so it receives and stores all my text messages. I happened to glance over at her and saw she was ...
7
votes
1answer
561 views

How to approach my adult son and his ex wife about my son's likely fatherhood of her baby when both deny it?

My 21-year-old son is newly divorced. He and his former wife hate each other a lot. Recently, his ex wife started posting pictures on social media of her baby boy just born in November. Which would ...
4
votes
2answers
578 views

Divorced parents care less about me

I'm 23 and my parents divorced about a year ago and since then, they both make me feel like I'm less important/no longer needed. I live with my mom, she is lovely but only when the house is clean. I ...
3
votes
2answers
983 views

Am I really just taking advantage or is my mom abusive?

I am a 34-year-old single mother of 4. My children are 14 years old, 13 years old, 5 years old, and 9 months old. Just to give a little background, in March of 2016 my brother died suddenly on my ...
6
votes
1answer
1k views

What to do with an adult child with a mental illness and drug taking

Family history We have a strong family history of suicide, mental illness and drug addiction. My brother had died (the coroner stated suicide) two years after my husband died. He was a crystal meth ...
67
votes
24answers
26k views

Should I buy my college child a vehicle when I can afford to or make him earn it on his own?

I never got things handed to me growing up. I know what it means to have something. To earn something. I also want the best for my child. I want to provide a better life than what I had. What's a ...
128
votes
11answers
40k views

I am 21 and I am terrified beyond belief of my father

I am a 21 year old female living in Egypt and I am beyond terrified of my own father...at least I think he is my father. To say it shortly, I think I might have been adopted at a young age and no one ...