How do you address the bullying at the daycare your child tells you about?

Question

My wife and I put our child through daycare. There's a child with issues, who has only been there for a few months. Lately, our daughter has been telling us what that other child has been doing.

We know this is a child that may have an issue and we try to teach our child how to play well with others, but today my child tells me she heard that other child threatening the teacher (telling her, he was going to cut her). This isn't the first time and that other child has gotten in trouble for hitting and throwing tempers but I think a line needs to be drawn.

So my question is how do I address this issue?

• How do I approach the daycare?
• Should I give the daycare and ultimatum?
• My child has been at the daycare awhile. Should I look into another daycare if the issue is not resolved?

Answer 1

I think before anything is done, you have to talk to the teacher to learn more. You need to verify that what your child is telling you is accurate. If it is, I would recommend going to the owner/operator of the daycare and asking them what their action plan is for this.

At my child's daycare, there are two separate classes for each age/grade level. Perhaps you could get your child transferred to a different class?

In the meantime, if you don't feel you are getting anywhere with your child's daycare, I would also suggest shopping around for other daycare providers. In our area, the wait list is long. The sooner you get your name in there the better.

Answer 2

This is serious. It sounds like you are dealing with a seriously disturbed child. A child who threatens to cut other children is likely to have been raised in a terrible environment and needs help (or perhaps is even beyond help, if the parents are unwilling to do anything about it).

Certainly the daycare must know about it, though I'm not sure what position you are in to give them an ultimatum. If the other child is a bully, then rally together other parents against it. Bullying should not be tolerated, but it can (apparently) be prevented if all parties involved are willing to stop it. Don't stand for any "boys will be boys" or "they're just kids" bullshit. Eventually, you'll have to confront the other child's parents, and that's where the real challenge will lie.

If the matter persists, then changing daycare is a good idea for the safety of your child.