Hi I have been in a relationship with a single mum for a far while now and I have began to notice a lot of things that happen that make me think about what to do as I am clueless, I am also a single parent.

When her child is screaming at the top of her lungs and causing a scene for no reason... There is no punishment "she's only a child" is what I am told.

When her child trashes the house with rubbish and I ask her to pick it up " you can't expect her to clean up she's just a kid"

She runs out of the house and hides for some time and destroys a gift made by my child for me for farthers day and "you can't punish her she's only 5" is what I am told...

I have no idea on what to do please help... I am at my end here...

  • Is she willing to discuss different parenting strategies? If so, maybe a parenting class would help. – Valkyrie Oct 16 '13 at 10:16
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    If she's not disciplined now, society will discipline her when she's older and the consequences are harsher – user21179 Oct 16 '13 at 12:34

You could always propose to try out new strategies with her, while adapting them to what the kids can or cannot do. It's always a matter of "house rules" adapted to what the kids are capable of understanding. For example, a 2 years old toddler can only be punished up to a certain level, as he or she won't understand the meaning of, lets say, sitting on a chair for 15 minutes instead of 2 minutes.

If the mother is not willing to seek external advice or listen to your proposals, then I highly doubt that she is willing to raise her child properly. In that case, it's up to you to decide if you want your son to be raised in that context.

PS : From what I read, a 5 years old child can easily understand that he or she has to clean up after his/her mess, be polite and well-behaved. In my case, we started this education since our boy was 2 (as I said, up to a certain level and always adapting the rules).

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