As a kid, I used to like School more than anything else. Perhaps, because I came from a broken home and school is the only place where I have friends and people listen to me.

Now that I've a daughter, I want to be there for her and perhaps in that endeavor, I might have given her more than I should have - time, toys, games and attention.

She have been going to pre-school (play-school) for the last 2 years but she hates school. She would rather be at home, playing around with me or her mother and be happy on her own in her room with her made-up friends, animals, toys, dolls.

Her new school is starting next month but every-time we mention about the new bigger school, about meeting new friends, she hates it and is fighting back against the very of a school.

What are my options? Should I make our home boring?

I've reduced her toys, hidden some of them and have stopped buying her new toys and games for her iPad.

How should I help her to let her know that School is indeed a super cool place to be.


All the answers and suggestions were good. There isn't a specific answer per se and so I'm skeptical marking anyone as the 'correct' answer.

My daughter is 6+ months into her new school and she is enjoying herself very much. Lots of friends, sports days are fun, likes her choral recitation sessions and the colorful days where she gets to dress in specific colors (in India, almost all schools wear uniform). She even likes the bus ride home even though, according to her, it's a bit long and makes her sleepy all the time.

Thanks everyone.

  • 15
    You can't, 'cos it ain't :)
    – Benjol
    May 7, 2013 at 13:35
  • 3
    This sounds more like a fear of change or the unknown than anything in particular wrong with school. However, once she's been going for some time, gently probe and see if there's anything in particular she's having problems with.
    – afrazier
    May 8, 2013 at 22:46
  • Regarding your edit: accepting an answer doesn't necessarily mean it is "correct" or that others are not correct. It just means that it was the most helpful to you, as the asker. That being said, you absolutely do not have to accept an answer if you don't feel it is appropriate.
    – user420
    Sep 13, 2013 at 13:48
  • It sounds like you answered your own question in the first paragraph. You cannot control the conditions at school, but you CAN control conditions at home. Unfortunately, school is a fundamentally unpleasant place to be. If you want to make her prefer school to home you must make her even more miserable at home than at school. If it worked for you it will work for her, right?
    – gillonba
    Mar 4, 2016 at 0:23
  • 1
    I considered school to be one big punishment from beggining to end, but I still finished it. The people who enjoyed school are probably the minority
    – Neil Meyer
    Mar 12, 2017 at 8:00

4 Answers 4


This may be a combination of enjoying being at home (which isn't a bad thing!), and not particularly enjoying something about preschool. I don't think that trying to reduce her home fun time is necessarily going to help (it could increase her overall anxiety level). Try having some conversations about what her preschool experiences are like. Does she feel bored, neglected, lonely? Is it the teachers, other preschool students, or activities that she doesn't like? If you can narrow down what she dislikes, then you may be able to discuss the problem, and also see if there are some things that she does enjoy about it (and focus on more of those experiences that she'll have at her new school).

It can be a challenge to convince her that a new school will be fun before she actually gets there, though, and you may want to accept that she won't be convinced until she has been going there for a while. Many children are simply very attached to their family and home life, and it takes some time to adjust. However, I think that keeping her home time fun and comfortable is going to be important while she's adjusting -- if she's unhappy at school and doesn't feel as happy at home, either, she might have a much harder time.

She'll be at school for a long time, so worrying too much about the experience before she's even there full time may not be worth it.


like it has already been stated, maybe try and get her to play with someone who is also about to start school, someone who is excited about.

My daughter is about to start in september and she was the same for a little while, and she is mad about disney princesses, so we told her that if she wants to be a princess she needs to go to school and become smart.

ever since, she asks everyday if its time for big school.

Try and make it about getting bigger, she is turning into a big girl so she goes to school. If she has any role models etc, say that they had to go to school.

  • 1
    +1 for "if she wants to [live her dreams] she needs to go to school and become smart" ! May 15, 2013 at 12:35

In my opinion, it is because your daughter already felt comfort in home. and maybe, the preschool might be too monoton or not interesting in her mind. You should take her out to visit the school before the school is starting. And if there are school activity, it could be better to let her join the activity for introductions.

For alternative, you could search whether there are any neighbor whose their child are also starting their school or maybe older friend but study in the same school. If there is, you should introduce them to your daughter and let them know each others and having fun together. So your daughter also feel comfort and enjoy with her new friends. When the school is starting, I hope your daughter will be getting interesting in entering the new school, because she feel that she has interesting friend at school.

I hope this could be the solutions to your problem.


I guess your daughter is now in 2nd grade, so perhaps this is no longer relevant.

Anyway what I would suggest...

Whatever amount of time she's allowed to use her iPad, reduce it.

iPads (and electronic screen toys in general) are not good for children, so the less time she uses it the better.

  • 1
    Can you cite a source for this claim? I've not seen anything definitive showing this to be true, and I have lots of anecdotal evidence to the contrary
    – Kevin
    Nov 4, 2016 at 20:40

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