I have been going to church my whole life and faithfully following the Christian religion for 18 or so years.
I'm 20 years old, and I have been having doubts about my faith for about 2 years now.
My parents are extremely conservative, very controlling, and strong practicing Christians.
I recently came to the conclusion that I am a deist (I believe in a natural God who created everything but not in a God who allows people who don't believe in him to burn in hell).
My parents told me that I had to apply to be a leader at this Christian camp out in California, and I got the job.
I don't want to go because I am not Christian. I only applied and went through the motions because I was basically forced.
I don't want to go now, and I have no idea how to tell them.
I have to buy my plane tickets relatively soon (within the next couple of weeks), so I need to do something quickly. I am also financially dependent on them for the most part (mostly my grandparents, but they have control over them).
They think that I have to be exactly the way they want me to be instead of who I think is best for me to be. I'm stuck, and I need advice.