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My wife and kids has gone abroad,although were suppose to go together but I couldn't. so it is my kids first time without me, although they went to a pilgrimge site but kids mostly stay at home with other family member. What suprise me most is my kids haven't called me on their on, e.g. My wife when encountered that she doesn't call or make me talk to kids, she is always telling how busy she is etc etc which I get but My wife has a habit when she is with her side of family, she is least bothered to call or reply me citing again she was too busy, I say this because when we went to our home country, she wanted to stay with her side of family and that happened again, yet when any kids don't feel well, she cause a havoc and blame me for not keeping updated.

What I wanted to ask, why my kids are not feeling the urge of missing dad and calling me? I say it because mostly my wife mobile is with kids, even in morning when she is sleeping and kids want it to play games, they know my profile in whatsApp and do access it (so it is not like that my kids do not know).

This is a recurring thing with my wife and I know for sure now, she always want to sound busy when it is priority, and I do not want my kids to follow that way in her footsteps, because they are. My mother always said about my wife how she doesn't call but now I am certain why and this is something I do not want my kids to have.

N.B - I do text asking about kids and health, however I feel ignored because of un replied message and call, but calling only when she has free herself or lying in bed. I do not want my kids to treat me as a last priority but how can I put that in them because tomorrow my kids will grow up seeing the mom doesn't prioritize father (but only say, not mean it) and will follow same ?

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    How old are the kids? Irrespective, I'd say its natural for kids to prioritize the games/videos on mobile and here-now instead of someone far away.
    – BoringPanda
    Commented Apr 3 at 23:26
  • One is 8 1/2 and other is 4.
    – localhost
    Commented Apr 4 at 19:33

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This is absolutely normal. Most children live in the moment and enjoy their holiday without thinking of anything else.

On their return, they may tell you they missed you every day - which they may have done, but at the time you are unlikely to be in the forefront of their thoughts.

A solution can be to plan scheduled times to talk/videocall etc with your wife and the children, such as at bedtime, but I wouldn't expect any success in being able to do this without her help.

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    Second this. I wouldn't even expect my kids to miss me. It takes an enormous amount of effort by the adult to have a meaningful conversation even with older kids. And, for my kids, screen triumphs any relationship.
    – BoringPanda
    Commented Apr 4 at 20:48

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