The real problem here. My hands are numb from putting a pacifier back in place all the time. My daughter (4 weeks old) seems not to be able to keep the pacifier in her mouth. She sucks it for some time, then she relaxes and suddenly pacifier falls out. The hell breaks loose then. She will not stop crying bloody murder unless I find the fallen-out pacifier and put it back in her mouth for her. I am watching her, so I know this is unintentional. She can't keep her pacifier in her mouth. This is causing lots and lots of distress for both, us and her. We are on the 15th different brand of pacifiers, none seems to sort the issue. she wants the pacifier, that's for sure. Some brands are better than others, but none solves the issue completely. Has anyone had a similar problem? How did you go about it? Either I or my wife, are stuck next to our baby daughter for hours, just putting the pacifier back in her mouth and hoping she can keep it longer this time. We tried pulling it slightly to improve her sucking but no luck so far.


5 Answers 5


This one you'll just have to wait out. 4 weeks is very young. She'll gradually start to sleep deeper and longer, and not wake up because of the missing pacifier. Eventually, she'll learn to put it back in herself, but that's months down the line.

What you must absolutley NOT do is to use cords or rubber bands to fix the pacifier so she can't spit it out, because that can cause suffocation.


I agree with Michael Borgwardt that she is not yet capable of holding in a paci.

Dr. Ferber talks about this in his book, and he recommends training them to sleep without a pacifier. I know that will involve a lot of screaming, but I'm not sure if you have other options that don't involve one sleepless parent per night for the next few weeks. 🙁

(My daughter actually was able to suck her thumb through the night at that age, but I don't know of any methods of getting a child to transition to a thumb. 😢 )

Wishing you lots of luck in sleep training.


You could just not use a pacifier at all. Babies don't always have to have something in their mouths.

You might use a pacifier to "pacify" her for a few minutes after you take the bottle or boob away after feeding for a few minutes until she settles down. Or, maybe a few minutes before feeding while you get things ready, but in general, she shouldn't need to have one for extended periods of time.

If she constantly needs one, I'd ask your doctor what might be driving that need. ie. is she still hungry.

Wean her off of it .. and don't have her suck her thumb instead, that's a horrible alternative. Take it away little by little over the course of a week or so and she should adjust to not having it. Letting her "cry it out" is ok.

I know as a new parent hearing our babies cry for what seems like an endless period of time really pulls on our heart-strings, but it really is ok to let them cry. They will get tired of it and generally stop on their own, or just fall asleep.

  • 1
    I ween thou mayst mean "wean" :)
    – Elerium115
    Feb 29 at 11:48

You should rule out a few other possible sources of your child's discomfort first - just to make sure it's really the lack of a pacifier keeping them awake.

How long do they stay asleep? 4 weeks old is the age where their sleep cycle is still very underdeveloped, and they are unlikely to stay asleep for very long. Do not expect them to sleep through the night jst yet.

Also, are you certain that they are getting enough nutrition as well? Keeping the baby well-fed should reduce the dependence on pacifiers to sleep.

If you can rule those things out, I'm afraid your only other recourse is to either stay by their side to replace the pacifier, or start working on getting them to sleep without it.


You should try a Giggly Tots Pacifier holder bib. It works great for my little one, just make sure you take it off before the baby falls asleep.


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