Our son will turn 12 weeks old on September 17th, 2023. He's always been a little fussy but nothing that we couldn't manage. Matter of fact, there was a brief period after he turned 9 weeks old or so where he could go to sleep on his own. He has been consistent with his eating and is growing normally otherwise (he's fairly big at almost 7kg already, not obese).

Starting maybe 2 weeks or so ago, he's started becoming more and more fussy and he refuses to go down for a nap. If he naps, he sleeps for no more than 20 minutes at a time, and usually wakes up screaming from his nap. The only way he can get any sort of quality shut eye is if he sleeps in my wife's arms. His eating habits have also changed slightly to where sometimes he wants to eat very little with a long pause, or he gets ravenous with a shorter span between feeds.

It also doesn't help that he has a general distaste for being held. He will always try to squirm out of our grasp and no matter how we hold him, he gets irritable after a short while. In extreme circumstances he starts crying if we pick him up.

He's very lively and when he's not fussing, he coos and smiles and babbles a lot, and he's also interested in his toys and rattles. He started drooling at around 2 months of age.

Our pediatrician ensures us that he's quite healthy and is making great progress, but it's getting to be very tiresome having to endure wailing every two hours or so. I'd say on average he cries around 20 minutes in one go, and during the day it accumulates to about 2 or 3 hours of crying in total.

We made sure he has the perfect conditions for a nap. Pitch black room, perfect temperature, white noise turned on (not too loud), and still he refuses to nap. He does sleep well at night, going down at around 8pm, waking up for a feed around 2 or so, and then sleeping until 5 or 6 am, after which point his day "starts".

Like I mentioned, he's otherwise very healthy and quite lively, and when he's in a good mood he's very chatty as well and smiles a lot.

Is this behavior normal? I thought that purple crying should be reducing by three months of age, not increasing.

I'm sorry if this sounds rambly or if I forgot to mention something. If more info is needed, please ask and I will answer as soon as possible. Thank you in advance for any help.

  • You may be interested in the 'Wonder weeks' book: thewonderweeks.com . It helped us a lot with my daughter in two ways: 1. Babies go through difficult developmental phases all the time. It's hard for them. Be patient and compassionate. 2. The book points out each new developmental milestone. It brought our attention to them and made me a more mindful parent. Commented Sep 28, 2023 at 7:15

1 Answer 1


Even at just three months, your baby already has an opinion on how he would like to have things in his life. You have noticed this also already with the cuddling/holding. Unfortunately, your baby has very limited options in making it known that things are not to their liking and that is primarily by crying.

You stated that you create the perfect conditions for a nap, but does your child agree that those are the perfect conditions for them? Maybe not.
Maybe they are not tired enough for a proper nap and you need to shift the nap time.
How do the conditions for a nap differ from when they go to bed at night? Can you create a closer match to the night-time conditions?

There is only one constant in having a growing baby: you need to constantly adapt to their changing needs and wishes. Feel free to experiment a bit, because there are very many ways to do it right.

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