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I posted a relatable post here, but this time it is different, my son 3 months shy of being 8 yo. He can watch tv all day, I keep telling him to pick up books I bought of english, maths etc and he don't listen unless I become strict but I do not want that, my 3 yo follow him a lot, in every aspect. I try to be as reasonable with my 8 yo but he won't listen and just ignore. How do I make him find passion for books/study like he has for TV?

Background: (If you look at my other post, it tell u about struggles I had living with my in laws) He was in Grammar school and I have taken him out after june this year as I cannot afford it, his behaviour has remain same whereas I could say it has changed emotionally but he was a tv person even at that time. Pre COVID I shifted to my late MIL house, my wife has been busy with making food, house ready for his brother while being pregnant with my second son, my son uncle aren't very ambious, they low paid jobs, hanging out and asking my wife what is there to eat and repeat. I myself had lost many jobs and remain unemployed during COVID. My wife started a business in challenge to me that she can provide stability for her brother and me, but her business failed and my wife has episode where she goes really off and create a scene I see the toxic environment but for me ATM it is impossible financially to move but given the situation and I might have to do homeschooling for my son, how can I make sure he follow a timetable.

Should I take away his switch game, tv, outing? I have warn him of these but he is unbothered about it (a trait of her mom), and little one follow him so I am worried as to how to deal with such sitation.

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    Ummm take the TV away?....duh? Is this really so hard? Sep 1, 2023 at 12:59
  • @BentleyCarpenter it’s sound easy but it will be seen as extreme action. I wanna do it but not make it obvious
    – localhost
    Sep 1, 2023 at 13:12

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Anyway, if your child's screen habits really are terrible, then its on you as the parent to sensibly limit them. Maybe working along with your child to come to a compromise, suggest a limit of x amount on a weekday and y on a weekend say. You will have to be strict, and as children (and indeed, many adults) don't necessarily have the strength/impulse control to resist the lure of the TV and games console, you'll have to stay strong! At least for a bit, eventually he'll get bored and start finding himself other things to do.

The other thing is that maybe getting him to 'pick up books of maths' isn't working as thats boring. Maybe some more fun, but mathematical challenges you could do together might be better. Build something, code something, solve some puzzles. If you're going to homeschool, everything I've seen points to not trying to recreate a classroom style learning at home with strict timetable etc. You take a more holistic approach to education, maths isn't just sums in a book, english isn't just Shakespeare and grammar. Local to me there is a very active homeschool community which involves activities such as Dungeons and Dragons, forest schools, dance groups etc!

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A key part of getting your child to do something is to make an emotional connection with it. Your son already has an emotional connection with you, so make lessons something you do together. Don't expect him to "pick up his books" and work on them while you do other stuff; you have to be personally involved with teaching. Celebrate small victories. Encourage when things go wrong. Praise:criticism ratio of 5:1 or better. Little rewards (e.g. a cookie) for meeting goals, but make the reward a surprise token of celebration with you rather than payment for work.

Try to find interests that he has which intersect with lessons. This is difficult, but if you manage it then it can really be a way in.

At the same time, limit screen time (other than lessons on a computer, obviously). He gets 2 hours of TV per evening on weekdays, more at weekends.

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