My daughter is turning 5 in a few months. She's just started a new preschool class (same school as last year, just an age older). The teacher has reported that she refuses to get up from the mat when asked to do her activities, and she doesn't want to get on the toilet. They have to physically pick her up off the mat to get her up, and they have to physically lift her onto the toilet. They have asked us to talk to her about it. I've asked her about it and she says she simply 'doesn't want to'. She also says the teacher colours in 'with' her by moving her hand/crayon on the page.
She's a strong willed little girl. She will do things when she wants to, and opposes any kind of force/coercion. We have found that at home, strong boundaries and natural consequences have done wonders. We don't shout or hit, and she is happy and cooperative most of the time.
I don't know if she's not cooperating as a power struggle, or because she's anxious and freezing up. She does take time to warm up to things. Either way, I feel like forcing her to do these things is just not the right thing to do. This doesn't sit right with me. She's 5 and perfectly capable of doing all these things. At home, she talks, she eats, she colours in, she bathrooms by herself, she's 100% independent and happy. Why treat her like a baby at school?
Is it appropriate for this school to be handling her behaviour in this way? I want to tell them to just leave her alone, not pressure her, and let her deal with the consequences of her actions (if she refuses to bathroom accept that and if she has an accident, so be it).