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First of all, I understand and accept that spanking children is wrong in any and all cases and should never be employed.

However, there are two cases when I'd tend to excuse spanking and this is one of them. I'd like to know what are better alternatives to handle such situations.

Thank God I'm not a parent, because I think I'd a terrible father, but I still know such situations from personal experience.

When I was a toddler we were living in a tower block, pretty high above ground. It was clear that if I fell out of the window I'd die.

Still, when my godfather came to visit us, he was stupid enough to "show me what was beyond the window". He held me by my legs and let me lean over the window, so that I could see the yard.

Then, a few days after my godfather left, my parents saw me climbing towards the window. Clearly I wanted to do the same, but then there was no one to hold me. My parents reacted immediately by beating me up. I never again tried to crawl out of the window.

I believe that if my parents instead "just" forcefully removed me from the window and sternly forbade me from ever trying this again, I'd just try it again when I thought they were not looking.

Since spanking is unacceptable, what should be employed instead to make absolutely certain that children's extremely dangerous behaviors, such as crawling out of the window, never repeat again, if the children are still too young to understand the dangers?

2 Answers 2

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Your parents should have locked the window, not hurt you!

Beating children doesn't make their behavior absolutely certain anyway.

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    Exactly, small children are inquisitive little beings, you have to make things safe so they can explore and do normal children things without hurting themselves. So babyproofing, supervising them, or keeping them contained in a safe space.
    – R Davies
    Feb 14, 2023 at 9:49
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I've raised three kids without spanking them.

what should be employed instead ?

  1. Prevention: Don't expose kids to situations they are not yet handle to manage on their own.
  2. Explanation: talk to them at the level they can understand. "What do you think will happen if you fall out the window". Take a toy through it out the window and see what happens to it. "Do you want to look like that ?"
  3. Gradual Training: walk at the side walk holding your hand, then let them walk without holding hands (but be ready to grab them), let them walk a few steps in front or behind your, cross the street together holding hands, let them make the call when to cross the street, let them cross the street on their own, but observe to make sure they got it. Done: they can now cross a street safely on their own.
  4. Don't overprotect: Kids learn by trying them, making mistakes and experience the consequences. Let them have small accidents to help them avoid large ones. Discuss and learn from it.
  5. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

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