My daughter is 4 years old, getting close to 5. She started doing this only recently. When she does something like fall over, or stub her toe, or spill milk, she immediately starts blaming it on whatever someone else was doing at the time, or whatever happened to be in her way. Examples:
When tripping on something: "You shouldn't have been talking to me!"
When running into something in the house, or hitting her head on the counter: "This [part of the house] shouldn't be here!"
When spilling milk: "You shouldn't have put this plate here!"
She takes a lot of things personally, and I think this behavior is an outgrowth of her natural tendency to be hard on herself. It's easier to put blame somewhere else than to accept your personal responsibility when accepting responsibility makes you feel like a bad person, something along those lines.
We're trying to, in the moment, explain to her that it's not someone else's fault, and that's okay. I don't know if dealing with it in the moment is the best way, but it's what we're doing now.
Is this normal behavior from a 4 yo, and how can we help her 1. stop blaming others and, more importantly, 2. help her have a healthier reaction (more self-love) when she does accept personal responsibility?