I would invite you too look a bit deeper, why does your parent do this? Why does it matter? What does it mean in terms of your choices and identity? What is a preference and should you have a right too one? Why when and how should your parent tell you what too do? What is their authority based on, and does it exist in the first place? What is authority and when is it valid?
I would invite you to question your parent and discuss with them rationally, if they can not be reasoned with (that is not, they disagree with you, but that they are not acting rationally, and or are not protecting you) if its extreme enough, you rebel might want to consider rebelling here is what I mean:
Rebellion based on vein things is a sign of immaturity. Well thought out and deep philosophical principles and actions taken appropriately in accordance with your well founded & reasoned fundamental ethics & principles (when you feel someone is contradicting them) is. e.g "I smoke to piss my parents off because I don't like what they are doing" is a sign of immaturity. "I have reasoned through the consequences of this situation and done my due diligence, I feel I have made this decision with a similar or greater degree of reason than my parent, yet they block me and propose irrational reasons why I should not take this course of action. I do not feel they have ground to stand on if I make this decision for myself (or they simply "don't like it"), and it does not involve vanity, therefore I will proceed anyway and will not accept punishment and ignore any punishment as much as is reasonable because it is not founded on reasonable or ethical grounds" is valid.
Reasonable ways of ignoring or not accepting the punishment:
- Doing what you would do if the punishment's was not given (no more -- no less) while continuing to restate your reasons until they can make a coherent argument (if they do, I believe the punishment's can be at least reduced on the argument that neither of you thought of that before). A side affect is often, if you are not being arrogant, this can demonstrate your competence, but no one is immune of competence but a mistake, be sure to remind your parent of this. If not done in secret, sometimes parents just need to see this kind of thing to alleviate their anxiety. That said, don't do anything stupid or dangerous. Again, I am speaking about decisions that involve ethics, or opportunities that you may want to pursue, hobbies, defining your identity, etc. There is so much potential at your age, I suggest you look into getting head start, for example: at your age I really wanted to take college classes, or be involved with college programs, but my parent (and at the time I thought the state, this may have been the case without my parent's help at least) would not cooperate, and circumstances prevented me from pursuing this (I couldn't drive, I was not allowed to drive by the state due too my age, and my parent made it too difficult for me to get to where I wanted too go by other means [because of irrational fears that I wont go into]).
- Acting in a way that is consistent with the boundaries of the
punishment's, but continuing to do what you want to do, an example of this would be a person who was sentenced to jail, they felt the punishment is unjust, so they refuse to leave their cell, and opted to write a book in the cell, they made it their own they "wanted" to be in the cell (rather than give people the satisfaction of complying with the authorities punishment). An example of this when I was young was I felt it was not right to force people to remain on school properties in order to continue to exercise their right to a free and public education (though I thought suspension was okay). In order to avoid this I was sure to comply with school rules that were consistent with my ethics (and most were, I did not usually have any desired to do most of the dumb things a lot of other people my age wanted to do). Be careful with this one, it can become very limiting or enabling or destroy or erode your principles and self-confidence.
- Turn the other cheek: If there truly nothing you can do within reason, you can comply with the punishment but state that it is unjust but continue to maintain your argument. Do not let the fact that you disagree with your parent let the punishment continue indefinitely though.
- If your parent uses force (such as them force combing your hair) either directly or by proxy, if you can get away from it (within reason) or prevent it from being used you should. Never use force. Force is often the irrational persons attempt to substitute for rationality & truth.
Remember to always be respectful, as you would any other person but more so because they are your parents, and you should love them, and they should love you. Be open minded, and be prepared to admit you are wrong -- that's part of the deal: as they should admit when they are wrong.
Your parent should be open to dialog with you, meaningfully listen too you, and respect your rationally based disagreements, if they consider questions asked as respectfully as possible to be "disrespectful", ask yourself, is truth ever "disrespectful" or should it be hidden.
Some signs your parent is not being rational:
- When you have clearly thought something out more than them, and they refuse to think further on the subject (and they are not hiding something)
- They go around in circles
- They are highly emotional about the subject
- Their "reasons" come down to emotions or unjust (not all) of societies expectations/social pressures
- Arguments from authority
There are more, but be sure too look for these in yourself too
To be clear, I do think generally you should listen too your parents, if you can reason about what they say and think about it critically, you should be free to disagree with them.
If you cant do these things, I would listen too your parents (barring abuse/a toxic relationship).
I invite you too examine things from a rational perspective, do critical thinking, and dig into philosophical thought (look at this too), why does something like this bother you, perhaps there are bigger underlying/overarching themes that bother you or ideas you should think about :)
I don't say this to be degrading in any way, its entirely possible you understand these things, and you are free to reject this free advice.
IMO, I agree with @Boat , as a 26 year old non-parent, your parents use of force and their emotional frustration is concerning too me.
And remember philosophy can be very practical, I think a good start for ethics is the basic idea of object, informed consent, and circumstance can be applied to a lot of ethical systems, the idea of figuring someone's moral culpability or classifying acts via "a [good or evil] act with full informed consent of the will with no mitigating circumstances" is a good concept in general I think. You may want to consider this idea when evaluating your own actions and those of your parents.