I have been trying to potty train her and nothing is working. I’ve took her to the doctors and all they said was don’t force her it will makes matters worse and said to have her talk to someone so we did at her school, and they found nothing wrong with her. So I’m back to square 1. Every time I ask her to go potty or I do the timer she just fights me she doesn’t want to go, and then she fakes using the bathroom. She is wearing pull-ups at the moment she doesn’t want to change herself either when she goes in them.
Not sure if it applies at seven years old, but our child has always had a strong dislike of learning anything new involving body excrements. It manifested in similar ways, fighting and not wanting to try at all, and cannot explain why not.
In the end we bribed our way out of it. Paper with 20 boxes on the toilet wall, after each box has a cross the child gets some toy they want. At first it was sitting on the toilet, then next 20 crosses was actually getting something in there, then it was going by themselves. After it became routine, leaving out the paper was not a problem.
In our case it also helped to explain to the kindergarten the discomfort about bodily functions so they gave more time and privacy. Then it quickly became routine there also and was no longer a problem.
If you guys lived in the US, a good first step would be to ask that the school give her a comprehensive evaluation. This would show whether there are any learning difficulties, which might help her doctor figure out what's going on.
Another good first step would be to book an appointment with a developmental pediatrician.
I don't know about other countries.
In addition to the other advice, potty/toilet training will involve having the child wear regular underwear. That way she will know when she has peed herself and it will get uncomfortable & cold quickly. This will hopefully motivate her to pee when you put her on the toilet.
Another trick is to make it fun, this is easier for boys than for girls. Have her try to pee in a cup when she is in bath for example.
Peeing is the first step. Pooping in the potty or toilet comes next. At this age the child is large enough for the toilet. Give her a stool to put her feet on, encourage her. Have her blow through a straw to help her relax and let it go.
Oh mama I know this is so hard. Potty training is hard.
Do you spend 1-1 time with your child every day? That is, you announce to her that this is the time between both of you. No siblings, phone call, text message or doorbell will interrupt it. Set aside some time (like 20 minutes) and do what she wants to do with. A board game, reading, whatever she likes. How many times do you hug her in the day? We all need 8 to 12 hugs in a day for a healthy mind and body.
Perhaps your child is craving your attention and your touch? Evaluate if that’s the only time you actually give her undivided attention. If there is no developmental issue it could just be your child wanting you.
Edit: I asked my 7 year old and she said that potties are scary - maybe she is afraid she will fall inside. Or maybe the flush is too loud for her.