We have a family friend stay with us. She has 4 kids. Two teenage boys (17 and 14) and two younger kids (8 yo boy and 6 yo girls). All kids except the 17 year old has been diagnosed with ADHD. The 14 year old regularly displays bullying behavior (physical and psychological) towards the two younger kids. He would laugh when he would get a reaction from the younger kids (most of the time they end up crying bc they would be physically hurt). We all went to the beach together and my daughter had build some sand structures and when the younger girl started to destroy it, my daughter cried and asked her to stop. She stopped but the 14 yo came over and stomped all over the structure. My daughter was beside herself and really started to cry.
I basically saw the whole thing unfold and told the 14 yo that he should have chosen better actions bc he was older than the kids he was upsetting.
Is there an ADHD factor here that is behind the bullying behavior or behind how the bullying behavior makes him feel? He seems be be getting some sort of ‘satisfaction’ from pushing the younger kids’ buttons.
Only the mom was with us and she would talk to him about his behavior and would ask him to stop.
He somehow knows boundaries bc he doesn’t do that with the adults and generally not with his older brother.
How should I have handled the situation at the beach? How should I handle the future incidents? The mom is a good family friend and we want to spend time with them, but there is just toxic energy there.