I have a one year old. We started sending him to daycare 5 weeks back. As soon as I enter his class to drop him, he would start crying. I have read that kids take few weeks to adjust to new environment and all. Since its been few weeks already, I know he stops crying few minutes after I leave. But my problem is, he doesn't seem to be himself there. He doesn't play, doesn't eat much. Even the activities he loves at home (like playing is water, some toys etc), he doesn't do that in daycare. He was offered to play with water today but he refused and pushed it back. I do not know what I need to do.

Few thoughts which are bothering me:

  1. We speak our native language at home. At Daycare they speak English. Can that be a problem? He is not understanding what they are saying?
  2. Do I need to change the daycare. Is he not liking this place. By the way, this daycare has very good reviews and reputation. Thats why I picked it.
  3. Is it too early to start sending him to daycare?

Please help me figure out. I can't help it but thinking about my baby all day while he is there.

1 Answer 1


My only experience is being a parent myself, so there probable will be a better answer sooner or later, but perhaps I can help you anyway.

From what you wrote, I think your son is uncomfortable in the daycare. It may be that he did not bond with one of the caregivers, so they can not comfort him adequately.

In east Germany it is quite common for 1-year old to start daycare, so age alone should not be the problem. The daycares in Germany use the Berlin adjustment model [0] to integrate new children. It has three phases:

  • Initiation: In this phase, you will accompany your child to the daycare for an hour. A primary caregiver from the daycare will interact with your child, while you sit in a corner. Then you both leave to come back the next day.
  • Separation: When the child is more comfortable at the daycare, you leave for a short time. This time is lengthened until you only drop him off.
  • Stabilisation: Until this point, your child was only in the daycare for an hour. This time is now lengthened from day to day.

Better (and probably more correctly) explained: [0] https://www.uni-ulm.de/fileadmin/website_uni_ulm/zuv/zuv.dezIII.abt1/familie/pdf/Kita/Berliner_Eingew%C3%B6hnungsmodell_engl.pdf

So perhaps, if he does not have a primary caregiver he feels comfortable with, a second reintroduction to the daycare using the Berlin adjustment model could help. If not, you might at least see what his problem is, because you will be able to watch him and his interactions with his caregiver for an hour in the beginning.

Unfortunately I cannot help you with the languages. However, there has been a similar question on that topic:

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