My now 18 year old son came out as transgender six months ago. He has never been girly. He is a stinky teenage boy, who does not clean his room, has to be forced to bathe and his voice and manner of speech are masculine. He does not walk or talk feminine. He has started wearing stuffed bras and girl tops and wants to be called by his girl name. What about college and career? Can I do anything without making this worse? I guess he expects me to support him financially forever? I was going to pay for his college, but don't want to throw a fortune into the garbage if he is not going to need or use his degree. And I am concerned that these institutions are no longer educating but indoctrinating. Any advise? How do I talk to him/her?

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    I struggle to draw a connection between your child’s gender identity and financial dependency or lack of academic success. Why wouldn’t anyone need or use a degree just because he’s actually a she?
    – Stephie
    Jun 1 at 5:21
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    Having no reason to second-guess your daughter's gender identity, I see you mis-gendering her 15 times in such a short text. If this is any hint at how you treat her in direct contact, my question would be: Have you tried any kind of behaviour towards your daughter that could be called accepting? If yes, what happened? If not, why not? Jun 1 at 8:56
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    @JanNiklasFingerle I'm not sure that OP is misgendering their child, and I'm not sure that they aren't, either. Diagnosing whether or not their child is genuinely suffering from gender dysphoria is something for a trained psychologist to do, not random internet posters.
    – nick012000
    Jun 1 at 9:19
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    @nick012000 Two points: (1) Gender dysphoria is correlated with being trans, but isn't the same. People can have one without the other. (2) While an adult person coming out as trans might very well benefit from psychological help, it's not for others to decide, that they only accept them being trans when it has been rubber-stamped. The OPs daughter might decide not to visit a psychologist. This doesn't give anyone the right to mis-gender her. There are a few countries, where an adult person can legally change their gender marker without seeing a psychologist. Would you misgender those people? Jun 1 at 9:32
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    @nick12000 Yes, their child might actually be their son, crossdressing and not speaking the truth. Accusing someone of not speaking the truth should be based in more than guesswork. I agree, that medical professionals will have to check, if a treatment is justified; this is true for any treatment. But I'm not a medical professional, and I was talking about how to treat people socially. BTW, the suicide rate of trans people isn't due to medication, but to lack of social acceptance. If nothing else, this is a good reason to be accepting and leave the medical stuff to the doctors. Jun 1 at 11:24

Take them to see psychologist.

You're not a psychologist, and neither is anyone here - and even if we were, we wouldn't be able to diagnose your child from a brief post on the internet.

However, a psychologist should be able to tell if your child is genuinely transgender, if they have some sort of sexual fetish for women's clothes, or if it's a phase they're going through because it's trendy at their university or something. Once they've determined the root cause of this behaviour, they should be able to help you and your child to chart a path forward, whether that's transitioning, psychological counselling, or a referral to other specialists.

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