My daughter is 9, she is very clever, but I want her to work harder, read more as after doing the lessons quickly she takes her cell phone and doesn't notice anything else around. How can I help her to love reading as she says all you want me to read I can watch? Or does anyone know some helpful kids book club which will help her not to get bored?
2 Answers
Do you read to her? Maybe at bed time? 9 is a bit late to start, but its still worth it.
You say "I want her to work harder, read more". She says "all you want me to read I can watch". That sounds like the wrong conversation to be having. Reading should be a pleasure, not a chore. It sounds like you want her to read books you choose because it will be good for her education, but to a child "education" is the boring stuff that adults make you do. By defining it as a chore you set yourself up to fail before you start.
Pick some trashy books aimed at 9 year old girls. They should be about things she knows and likes (sports? horses? magic?), and not have movie or TV versions. Read them aloud to her. Make it a daily thing; just a special time for the two of you. Encourage her to pick the books she would like to hear. Finish reading half way through a chapter ("My throat is getting dry; I need to stop now") and leave the book for her to carry on with if she wants. If one book doesn't catch her interest, try another.
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I was reading for her when she was younger and it was just that daily thing for us about what you wrote. Is it my omission that now when I have no time to read with her, to take part in some activities related to her, she prefers an easy way to spend and enjoy the time? As when I am reading, explaining, we speak about what we read, she listens carefully but after some time when I ask her to do it herself, she can't concentrate.– AngCalvCommented May 28, 2021 at 9:47
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I was at her age and I know that it is difficult to take control of your day but we are too different as I liked to do my best to get that discipline and tried to put things in their places. but it is not a priority for her and should I accept that? But it's a permanent process, ya? to explore and recognize your child to help find her own way in life, not yours. I'll agree with you I should find what will interest her. Thanks!– AngCalvCommented May 28, 2021 at 9:49
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@AngCalv Like I say, you need to stop thinking of this as something you are trying to make her do, and start thinking of this as something you can enjoy together. If you have to stop to explain then you are reading the wrong thing. Never mind all the "improving" stuff, find stuff she enjoys. Once she wants to hear more, the rest will follow. You are systematically teaching her that reading is a boring chore. Stop that! Commented Jun 15, 2021 at 16:33
At nine, I wouldn't recommend permitting unlimited usage of cell phones/tablets/screens for entertainment. Not to encourage reading per se, just because it's still quite hard at that age to have the level of self control needed to manage screentime appropriately.
That said, aside from limiting screentime, the best thing we've found is very simple: make sure books are readily available, make sure the books that are readily available are interesting to the child, and make sure you are modeling the desired behavior.
Also, don't be too picky about what you consider "good literature". My 9 year old was unwilling to read "real books" when he was 6-7, but he did really enjoy graphic novels. So, we got him a good library of graphic novels, and he'd spend time reading them.
Guess what - now, two years later, he reads all the time. Sometimes graphic novels, sometimes written fiction, sometimes written nonfiction. He got in the habit of reading, realized it was fun, found things he likes, and now he reads for hours a day!
Another thing that is worth considering, is a library app, like Overdrive or Libby, if one is available in your area. Having the ability to download any book at the moment they want to is amazing for a kid. My kids use Libby and Epic (a subscription library with more stuff readily available), and love being able to browse for things they like.