It all started when I first meet my stepfather when I was 11 years old. at first, I thought he was a good person and I can trust him. After one year I meet him again when he already married my mother. We started to live together and the days went well but there was something I didn't like. I noticed that he looked at me strangely, and when I was alone with him, he touches my private parts. Luckily, I when to a boarding school and didn't meet him for 4 years. When I returned home, I thought he changed because he didn't do the things, he usually do to me. Well, contrary to my expectations he didn't change. after few days he started to the middle with my private life saying as an excuse that he is my (step)father that spends money to educated and disciplined me but that's not all he also wanted to know what was I talking about or what I want to talk with my mother, where I’m or where I’m going to and says to let the door of my room open even when I change my clothes and most of the time complains about my mother (most of the time because of her behavior) and when I am alone he comes to my room and starts talking about sex and starts touching me and use as an excuse like he is just teaching me or says that's ok because we are family. From that day whenever he touches me, I became angry and say to him to not touch me. and because of that, he says that I don't respect him and I even don't consider him as my father. He also says that I must regard him more than a father because he spends time and money on me. When I stay for few days at home and then prepare my luggage to return to the boarding school, he always checks my luggage to see what I took with me. I am still living in a boarding school but recently he started calling me home because he feels lonely. And also, he started interfering with my school life (what I study, my grades, friends, etc.) and also giving me extra homework to do on top of my school homework. Because of all the things that he's doing I always argue with him I mean like if we see each other I always try to argue with him over something. I think I had developed fear toward boys because I feel if I approach too close to them, they will do something to me. Every time when my stepfather, men, or any boy suddenly approaches me I instinctively jump away in fear. Sometimes even my hand starts to slightly tremble, but when I’m with my two brothers I don't feel the same way so I didn't give it much through. After reading all this what do you think? is it normal what he is doing?

What should I do?

Did I do right to reject body contact with him? I’m a 16 years girl who didn’t have a father from the start and I don't really know how it works the relationship between father and daughter so I really need your advice about it. ~Thanks~

  • 2
    His behavior is definitely not ok. You are a victim of abuse and need to get help
    – user36162
    May 9, 2021 at 22:31
  • 2
    I second the above. What he is doing is harmful to you, condemned by society, and against the law in every developed country. The penalty is severe in proportion to the potential for your trauma. (You've already indicated that your ability to have a healthy love life is damaged.) You should get help from a trusted adult and get to safety. Then report him to the police, if you can do so without endangering yourself. May 10, 2021 at 3:23
  • 1
    I agree with the above comments. This is not okay in any context. Please seek support from a trusted adult. I hope someone can offer some further suggestions, but perhaps a teacher you trust, or a relative. Whatever you do, please do not let this continue. You are not to blame for this happening no matter what, and you are not the only one who has dealt with this. This will get worse before it gets better, and you do not want to wait to tell someone. Be safe.
    – dgo
    May 10, 2021 at 12:30
  • An Addition: if you are willing to say what country you are in, it may help someone in providing additional resources for support and for taking action.
    – dgo
    May 10, 2021 at 12:39
  • The question is off topic here - but Joseph's answer is key: law enforcement, a trusted adult, an abused women hotline - most countries have them, and they can help.
    – Rory Alsop
    May 10, 2021 at 17:29

1 Answer 1


You are experiencing abuse and need to get away from him as soon as possible. This behavior is not ok.

Jail or prison sentences are very common with child abuse convictions. A misdemeanor conviction may bring a few days, months, or up to a year in jail, while felony convictions can easily result in sentences of 10 years or more in prison.

According to CriminalDefencelawer.com

You need to get to an adult you trust, and call the police on him. He can, and should be punished for it.

  • 2
    The only thing I would add about this is, please don’t hesitate to act if you are worried about what will happen to him. No grown man should act this way, and all grown men know the potential consequences.
    – dgo
    May 10, 2021 at 12:41

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged .