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I am newly pregnant and due in November. I am also in the yachting industry and plan on returning to work around June next year. The season is usually 6 to 7 months of the year. How will this impact my new born? This is my only means of income and a way to provide a better life for my kids. My parents would be caring for my kids while I am away.

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  • What does it mean that the season is 6 to 7 months? Does it mean you will be away from home (and your family) for that entire time, or will you be working on and off during that period, being home a number of days every few weeks? Also, do you have colleagues in a similar situation (small children at home) that you can talk to and ask about their experence? – Bart van Ingen Schenau Apr 25 at 9:47
  • Who will be looking after the kid(s) when you're away for half of the year? The father? Your parents? – nick012000 Apr 25 at 23:38
  • I would have to be away for the entire time as it is in another country. My parents would be looking after my child and I will also be able to afford a nanny to assist. The father is also working away from home however he is away for almost a year at a time. – Cherylin Anne Botha Apr 26 at 10:03
  • While Hilmar's answer is a very harsh take, I'm afraid it's very realistic. Especially for a kid this young the amount of time away will be about half the time they've been alive. When you first come back you will quite likely be pretty much a stranger to them. More an aunt than a parent. Is it at least realistic for you to at least be present through videoconferencing on a daily basis? It won't work for a small kid, but might help a little once they are a bit older. I'd manage expectations though. – DRF Apr 28 at 13:31
  • Video calls will be a daily priority, it absolutely breaks my heart being thrown into this position where I need to be the sole provider for my children and give them the life they are deserving of. My main goal is to get all 3 of us out of South Africa. This is also a temporary measure as I plan on working this way for 3 to 4 years at most – Cherylin Anne Botha Apr 28 at 15:31
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How will this impact my new born?

A lot. For all practical purpose you will be gone from their life for long stretches of time. Nursing & feeding, diaper changes, playing, cuddling, comforting, reading, learning to talk and walk are all things you will not be able to do when you are gone.

Small kids need consistency and predictability which you will not be able to give them. It may be best in your case, to have your parents be the "de-facto" parents of your kids as well. They will be the ones doing the work and who will be there 24/7. You should discuss with your parents how you want to handle roles and responsibilities, decision making, value systems and then let them run the show as they see fit. You can engage with your kids when you are back home, but make sure it doesn't interfere with the parenting of your parents.

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