Baby distressed by one parent [closed]

Question

(Not sure if this should be on the Biology.SE or even the Psychology.SE)

Someone I know is currently in the process of getting a divorce, because (or so they tell me) they have a baby who's distressed by one parent. The baby, who is less than a year old, is "immensely distressed" by the offending parent's presence, and takes several days to stop being distressed. The other parent moved out of the house and is seeking to limit the offending parent's access to the child, leading to arguments and a divorce.

I have several questions about this:

• Is it valid to be worried over the baby being distressed (i.e. crying) by one parent's presence at this stage of the baby's life? After all, the baby is less than a year old, and nobody can remember anything when they were that young. Given that there are no memories of this period, can what happens still affect the baby's later well-being?
• If it is valid, at what age does the baby becoming distressed by one parent start becoming a problem?
• If it is not valid, at what age should one start worrying if the baby is still distressed by one parent?

From my Googling it seems memories don't begin until about 2 years old, but I cannot find resources on whether this implies one can reasonably ignore the baby being distressed by one parent in the first two years after birth. Intuitively I would guess that if the cause of distress is material, e.g. heat or hunger, then it could have some subconscious impact later in life (does it?), but I do not know about a person's presence.

Update: apparently the two parents approached a child psychologist, who doesn't know what is causing the crying either.

Update 2: the baby cries if and only if one of the parent is present. If the parent is present the baby starts crying. If the parent leaves, she takes a while (~5 minutes) to stop crying. [I know I did write above that the baby takes several days to stop being distressed. It could be that the baby remains distressed, just less severely, until that time.] The phenomenon is reproducible, and the baby is distressed enough that it is beyond comfort as long as the offending parent is present or even if the baby knows the parent is somewhere nearby.

A different child psychologist diagnosed the problem as "Relationship Specific Disorder of Infancy", which appears to be a new condition in the medical literature; in fact it seems to only have been described in 2016. As far as I know, the parents are attempting to treat the condition.

I do not, however, think the specifics of the condition are relevant to this question.

Answer 1

A quick google on "long term impacts of child abuse" returns a very large amount of information which makes for heartbreaking reading.

An excert from one particular link I found ... https://aifs.gov.au/cfca/publications/effects-child-abuse-and-neglect-adult-survivors

Other factors that may affect the consequences of child abuse and neglect on adult survivors include:

• the age and developmental stage at which maltreatment occurred: some evidence suggests that the younger the child was at the time of the onset of the maltreatment, the more likely they are to experience problems later in life;

This would suggest that not only is it not a mitigating factor, the very young age of the child in question may actually make it worse.

Regardless of whether the abuse is actually remembered, it seems clear that it would have a severe impact on the child while the abuse is occuring, which in turn would impact the way the child learns about the world, and the people around them.

It's well understood that the early years of a childs life are the most crucial for brain development...

https://www.unicef.org/ffl/03/#:~:text=Recent%20research%20confirms%20that%20the,shaping%20the%20child's%20brain%20architecture.&text=They%20have%20a%20direct%20impact,as%20social%20and%20emotional%20abilities.

Recent research confirms that the first five years are particularly important for the development of the child's brain, and the first three years are the most critical in shaping the child's brain architecture. Early experiences provide the base for the brain's organizational development and functioning throughout life. They have a direct impact on how children develop learning skills as well as social and emotional abilities.

If during these formitive years, instead of learning that the people around her will protect, love and nurture her, she learns that these people will hurt and abuse her. How must this impact her understanding of human relationships. It's not hard at all to imagine why this would have a devastating impact on her future life, and indeed copious amounts of research backs this up.

If you suspect this child is being abused, then I'd urge you to contact the relevant authorities. Child abuse is a very serious problem, and it's everyone's responsibility to try to combat it.